Friday, February 29, 2008

I Said I Don't Know If I Was the Boxer or the Bag

Congratulations to Mr. Ben Grant for correctly naming "Mexican Cousin" from the Phish album Round Room as the Thursday Song of the Day.

A few notes on a rainy Friday night in Waco:

Speaking of Phish, you just have to love the following video of "First Tube", if only for the priceless documentation of Caucasian dance moves. Take notes and learn from the masters, my friends.

Today, Liverpool wrapped up a 4-year, 17 million pound deal with Argentinian midfielder Javier Mascherano. You know what this means, right? Yes, you didn't spend all of that time in vain learning to sing "Ja-vi-er Masch-er-a-no" to the tune of The White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army". Not hearing it? Just sing it in your head. Duh-duh-duh Duhhh-duh-duh-duh. I hope that gets stuck in your head as well. If not, here you go:

Oh, Semi-Pro came out today? Man, I really have a hankering for a new deodorant in my life. How's Old-Spice? I really wish they had a more effective marketing plan.

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Conversations I Forget, You'll Tell Me About Tomorrow

In the words of Bill Simmons, "There's comedy, there's high comedy, and then there's transcendent comedy." Somewhere in the ether above transcendent comedy, you can find Rangers left-fielder Frank Catalanotto's current facial hair.
Remind you of anyone in particular?

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I Won't Miss Those Things That I Left Behind

Current Reading

The special information which lawyers derive from their studies insures them a separate rank in society, and they constitute a sort of privileged body in the scale of intellect. This notion of their superiority perpetually recurs to them in the practice of their profession: they are the masters of a science which is necessary, but which is not very generally known: they serve as arbiters between the citizens; and the habit of directing to their purpose the blind passion of parties in litigation, inspires them with a certain contempt for the judgment of the multitude.

Add to this, that they naturally constitute a body; not by any previous understanding, or by an agreement which directs them to a common end; but the analogy of their studies and the uniformity of their methods connect their minds together, as a common interest might unite their endeavors. Some of the tastes and habits of the aristocracy may consequently be discovered in the characters of lawyers. They participate in the same instinctive love of order and formalities; and they entertain the same repugnance to the actions of the multitude, and the same secret contempt of the government of the people...

From Pg. 123 of Alexis De Tocqueville's Democracy in America

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The Road I Need to Travel Down

Whether you loved him or hated him, it's difficult to argue with the proposition that William F. Buckley's death today represents the end of a life that had as much to do with the current political landscape of America as any in the 20th century.

As George Will once said, "before there was Ronald Reagan there was Barry Goldwater, before there was Goldwater there was National Review, and before there was National Review there was William F. Buckley."

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Wondering What We Might Have Been

Note: This story was shamelessly stolen from the Blahg.

An Apple iPhone or iPod Touch will become a central part of Abilene Christian University's innovative learning experience this fall when all freshmen are provided one of these converged media devices, said Phil Schubert, ACU executive vice president.

At ACU - the first university in the nation to provide these cutting-edge media devices to its incoming class - freshmen will use the iPhones or iPod Touches to receive homework alerts, answer in-class surveys and quizzes, get directions to their professors' offices, and check their meal and account balances - among more than 15 other useful web applications already developed, said ACU Chief Information Officer Kevin Roberts.

"ACU First University in Nation to Provide iPhone or iPod Touch to all Incoming Freshmen"

So, if I burn my diploma and move back into Mabee Hall, does that mean you'll give me a phone?

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Wondering If We Spent Our Living Days Well

Thanks to everyone who has submitted entries thus far for this week's Caption Contest. Be sure to keep them coming through Sunday. In the words of LBJ: "Vote early, and vote often."

An event that occurred yesterday has captured my mind, and I've come to the most discerning readership in the entire world for answers. In the midst of a conversation where my friend [name removed to protect the innocent] made a joke about a "mer-man", I threw out the Zoolander "Mer-man! (High pitched cough). Mer-man!!" quote. Hours later, another one of my friends, [name again removed to protect the innocent], called me out for quoting movies that were "cool in 2001."
Here's the question: What's the applicable statute of limitations on quoting a given movie? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Until the end of time in the right situations?

These are things I need to know. The other day, I'm pretty sure I utilized a Sandlot "For-ev-er" courtesy of Michael "Squints" Paladoris and received a positive response, but was that simply pity rather than honor and respect?
Let me know, dear readers. I eagerly await your responses.

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Monday, February 25, 2008

You and I Had to Be the Standing Joke of the Year

Congratulations to Mr. Mike May as the winner of this week's Caption Contest for his submission of "Change we can believe in. Ricky's Heisman is getting a new address," which was very closely followed by Mr. Ryan Searcey's entry: "All I need now is a blunt and dreads!"

Just because I want to capitalize on the momentum of last week's Caption Contest, we're starting this week's showdown right........now.
Note: Photo courtesy of Ms. Nikki Walker. Taken immediately after the Manning/Tyree miracle play in the dying moments of Super Bowl XLII.

As always, place your entries in the Comments Section through next Sunday, and maybe the winner will receive something special. Then again, maybe not. I guess you'll just have to stick around to find out, my friends.

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Sunday, February 24, 2008

You're a Headache in a Suitcase, You're a Star

Despite suffering a historic defeat at the hands of Jason Bourne in the inaugural Running Down a Dream "Bad-A" contest, Anton Chigurh, ahem, Javier Bardem kept a stiff upper lip, trudged ahead, and came home tonight with a little piece of hardware from something my friends and I like to call "The Oscars".
Well, maybe it's not just my friends that call it that, but you get the idea.

Bardem won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of the stiff-legged, terribly coiffed, and criminally insane Anton Chigurh in the film No Country for Old Men.

Next Christmas, when the officially-licensed, Coen brothers signed Anton Chigurh action figure, complete with an oxygen-fueled cattle stun gun and a removable toupee, is flying off of the shelves at toy stores around the nation, please don't come here expecting to hear from someone who is surprised.

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

I Can't Seem to Face Up to the Facts

Note: Non-soccer fans, please don't skip this post because you see a depiction of the beautiful game. I can forgive you skipping over my Liverpool posts, but I have another reason for this entry.

As someone who is 24 and understands what it means to have your entire life ahead of you, it was hard to read, and see, the stories today regarding Arsenal striker Eduardo Da Silva's horrific leg injury.

Eduardo, (he's Brazilian, so I'm only using the first name in honor of Cris), who also happens to be 24, had his leg broken in three places by this tackle from Birmingham City F.C.'s skipper Martin Taylor. I would place the resulting picture in the body of the post, but since it is more than a little unsettling, I'm giving you the option of seeing it if you wish.


For those who are okay with compound fractures and displaced joints, you can click here. I'm warning you, though. Human ankles should not look like that.


After the match, Arsenal manager Arsene Wegner went as far as to suggest that Taylor should receive a lifetime ban from the English Premier League for such a tackle, but Wenger has since retracted that statement. A quick glance at the following photo taken by the BBC at the match tells you everything you need to know about the severity of Eduardo's injury and the shocked reaction of everyone else on the pitch to his cries for help.In an unforgiving game like soccer, where a striker's worth is calculated by his ability to cut and accelerate past defenders, some are saying that such a debilitating injury could signal the end of Eduardo's career in the top level of international football. Everyone who reads this blog knows where my loyalties lie in the world of European football, but to see such a talented figure's career take a potentially fatal blow was difficult, even more so because of the seemingly reckless manner of the challenge by Taylor.

Taylor's current manager, Alex McLeish, and former manager, Steve Bruce, were quick to come to Taylor's defense in asserting that he is not a dirty player and there was nothing malicious in the challenge, and to a certain extent, it's difficult to fathom a person who would set out to cause such a catastrophic injury. What I am sure of is this: besides Eduardo, the person who probably feels the worst about this is Taylor himself. I have no idea what it feels like to carry the knowledge that you might have ended the career of a promising young star in such a reckless manner, but Taylor does, and that is his burden to carry.

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When I Have Nothing to Say, My Lips are Sealed

Current Reading

To be sure, there is no doubt that the founders-and indeed many liberal theorists-viewed personal and civic virtue as an important component of a flourishing constitutional republic. Without trust in one's fellows, without honesty in public office, without public-spiritedness or personal sacrifice for the greater good, free societies could succumb to factionalism, corruption, social decay.

But the founders were just as adamant that the inculcation of virtue was primarily the task of the private sphere, of individuals figuring out their own moral systems or religious faiths, of schools and parents teaching children the virtues they wanted to pass on, of churches free of any government meddling, inspiring and helping people to lead good lives.


But they were insistent that the government should not prefer one church to another, or one faith to another. They knew where that ultimately led: to the religious warfare that had destroyed Europe in the seventeenth century. They were content to let Americans in their private capacity discover their own truth, forge their own path, pursue their own happiness. And that included not just every variety of Christian, but also atheists and those who disdained belief as a whole.


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Friday, February 22, 2008

I'm Stranded Behind the Horizon Line

I must apologize to you, the loyal reader, for neglecting the Running Down a Dream Caption Contest in its infancy, but today it has returned with new vigor, new purpose, and....a new picture!!!

Note: This picture was taken yesterday in Mack Brown's office. No, it really was.

As always, place your submissions in the comments section, and may the best man/woman/other win. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday.

Here's my submission--"Note to self: In the fall, ask John McCain what it was like to actually play with John Heisman."

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

They Came Back to the World They Fought For

Congratulations to Mr. Jeff McCain for coming very close to naming "45" by Elvis Costello as the Thursday Song of the Day. There's a lesson here, kids: Name the right artist when no one else even tries and you might just find yourself the victor.

I ran across this video over a month ago on the blog of Jeff Giddens, and I would be doing myself, and the rest of this band (particularly my Dad) a great disservice if I didn't play the heck out of this thing.

Buddy Miller: "So New, There's Still No Title"

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There's a Page Back in History

I'm not sure which blessed soul took the time to construct this multi-viewpoint perspective on the crash of Oceanic Flight 815, but the editorial board of Running Down a Dream salutes that person without reservation.

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Bells are Chiming for Victory

At this point, we've all read the stories about the U.S.-launched missile that destroyed a National Reconnaissance Office satellite late Wednesday night, but in the words of George Oscar Bluth II (G.O.B. to his friends), "COME ON, U.S. military."
Aren't there other uses for the munitions of the United States, such as...
  • Yankee Stadium
  • The studios filming any one of the thousand "CSI: (Insert American City here)"
  • Old Trafford
  • The headquarters of the Blahg
  • Jose Canseco's house, Roger Clemens's house, Barry Bonds's house, etc.
  • The source of the immortal "Don't tase me, bro" catchphrase
  • People still voting for Mitt Romney weeks after he dropped (excuse me, suspended) his Presidential campaign.
  • Any supporters of the Philadelphia Eagles, New York Giants, or New England Patriots.
  • The person that invented speed limits
  • Charlie Finley and John Hedyler (the brain trust behind the designated hitter rule)

That's all the punishment I can dole out at this time, but feel free to add your own suggestions.

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A Freight Train Running Through the Middle of My Head

Congratulations to Mr. Ben Grant for correctly naming "Morning Bell" by Radiohead from the album Kid A as the Tuesday Song of the Day.



Speaking of Kid A, I'm not sure if I've ever listened to another album besides this one that remained alternatively maddening and sublime even years after I first listened to it.

When I was younger, I viewed Radiohead as the equivalent of that kid in class who was obviously very intelligent, but often tried too hard to demonstrate that intelligence, as if everyone else would not be able to grasp his intellectual ability unless he spun a web of words and clauses that left everyone else exhausted. The prime example in my mind of this artistic overreaching was Kid A, an album that meanders through a maze of electronic effects and noise, and at one point, during "Treefingers", does away with lyrics all together.

I'm not going to say that I began to enjoy listening to Kid A because my musical tastes matured and changed. Instead, like most true musical pretenders, I was influenced by the words of someone else, in this case, Chuck Klosterman. In 2005's Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story, which I highly recommend, Klosterman lays out his (admittedly) hare-brained theory that Thom Yorke, in composing the lyrics for Kid A, unwittingly predicted the 9/11 attacks a year before they took place.
Before you dismiss Klosterman as some kook 9/11 conspiracy theorist, you should know that he does not say that Yorke knew about the attacks, or even place blame on a responsible party. Instead, Klosterman argues that Yorke's true genius lies in the fact that if he tried to do the same thing again, there's no way he could succeed, and so much of what we characterize as genius in the world today is not the result of a conscious path of action, but is often a result of a convergence of circumstances that transform ordinary events into ones that seem remarkable in retrospect.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Where'd You Park the Car?

At the beginning of the post, I should take the time to apologize to those of you who live outside of the "bubble" and have no idea what I am talking about when I say the words "Sing Song." In fact, I apologize because if I took the time to actually explain it to you in sufficient detail, you probably still would not be interested in the subject matter and I would have deprived you of a small portion of your life, which is ebbing away right now...tick, tick, tick.


If you're still reading, and I have no idea why you would be after that stirring exposition, here is my $.02 on Sing Song 2008.


Of course, everyone left Moody on Saturday night talking about how the 6-time reigning champions had been dethroned in both the men's and women's divisions by the Kojie Bumblebess and the evil empire's train conductors, but as someone whose time in Sing Song is past, I'll tell you this: It's almost more difficult to watch as a spectator, than it was to be involved as a competitor/participant (sure, I could use the more gentle, affirming term "participant" solely, but in anything that involved a contest with the moonies, it was nothing if not a competition).


Sure, my time standing on the stage is gone, and that's a good thing, but a small part of me still hurts for the guys in club that had to be there when the dream died. Those that I talked to on Saturday night kept saying that the streak had to end sometime, but you never want to be part of the group responsible for such an event. Despite the fact that ACU has the 4th-highest total number of NCAA Championships behind UCLA, USC, and Stanford, the largest bragging rights on the Hill each year belong to those who win the big event in February.


From Huck Finn to the Beatles to Top Gun to John Travolta to Frogs who turn into Princes to Firemen, that group for the past 6 years was the men of Gamma Sigma Phi. Now, that title has been passed (albeit unwillingly) to our bitter archrivals, the evil empire. Wherever you are to read this, take a little time to hum a few bars of "We Believe" in remembrance of a fairly remarkable streak.

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Light Another Candle and Release Me

With goals from Dirk Kuyt and Steven Gerrard, Liverpool captured a 2-0 home victory in the first leg of their Champions League Round of 16 encounter with Inter-Milan:

For some perspective, this was only the second loss of the entire '07-08 season for the Italian club, and with a good showing on March 11th at the San Siro in Milan, the Reds will move on to the Champions League Round of 8.

Programming Note: At the request of Cris Carpenter, Sing Song 2008 thoughts and analysis will be given later this evening.

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Monday, February 18, 2008

Things That Remind Him: "Life Has Been Good"

Despite describing yesterday's post as "lame", Mr. Jeremy Masten is the latest victor in the Song of the Day contest after naming "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles as the Sunday Song of the Day. I must be getting soft to tolerate that kind of insubordination, but I'm chalking it up to a weekend traveling to and from Abilene.

It sounded like a Geraldo Rivera TV stunt.

An old safe is discovered in a Dallas courthouse. Once opened, its contents reveal a secret cache of files related to the death of President John F. Kennedy. There is an assassin's gun holster, brass knuckles and a transcript of a "smoking gun" conversation to kill the president.

To top it off, the existence of the safe and its contents are revealed in a news conference on Presidents Day. It wasn't a Geraldo stunt, but a dead-serious Dallas County District Attorney Craig Watkins talking about what he discovered locked in a safe on the 10th floor of the Frank Crowley Courts Building.


"Newly Discovered JFK Assassination Items Revealed" by David Tarrant of the Dallas Morning News.

It might just be my pre-existing aversion to conspiracy theories, but today's press conference in Dallas detailing the release of information related to the assassination of JFK doesn't seem to shed any new light on the historic event. Yes, in case you were wondering, I was also the kid who did not become paranoid when we watched a video during my junior year of high school asking whether we actually landed on the moon instead of a lonely stretch of desert in the American West.

It's not because I claim to possess any type of ability to sift through all of the conflicting arguments and viewpoints surrounding the great conspiracy theories in American history, but because I believe in the power of the blabbermouth. That great figure who cannot keep quiet when they hold the answer to a question that has confounded others for years.

I find it very, very hard to believe that if someone knew that Jack Ruby and Lee Harvey Oswald actually did meet to discuss the impending assassination of President Kennedy that we would not have known that fact for 45 years. Oliver Stone doesn't even dream up scenarios that far-fetched.

In the age of the 24 (and shrinking) hour news cycle, anyone and everyone is out there combing the countryside for the answers to those eternal questions:

  • Is Nessie really swimming out there in the Loch?
  • Is Jimmy Hoffa really buried under one of the endzones at the Meadowlands?
  • Why is Nickelback a commercially successful band?
  • Why is there no Betty Rubble in Flintstones vitamins?

Just like someone trying to determine the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.

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Sunday, February 17, 2008

It Took Me Years to Write, Will You Take a Look?

Current Reading


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Friday, February 15, 2008

Dedicated to All You, All Human Beings

It's that time of the year once again.

Time for a member of the Chicago Cubs to make a recklessly bold World Series victory prediction? No, although that did happen. Thanks, Ryan Dempster.

Instead, it is time to travel to the Key City for the phenomenon known as Sing Song. Here's a post from February of 2006 with full photographic evidence of the event that was "The Frog Show". (Warning: The mustache I'm wearing in those photos may be unsuitable for discerning [read as: reasonable] persons).
You can find the pre and post-show entries from last year's show here and here.

For a more focused, and much less biased, view on ACU's largest annual event (I'm looking at you, Lectureship), I'm turning things over to my friend, Sarah Carlson, whose Sing Song piece ran in Wednesday's edition of the Abilene Reporter-News.

Besides Sarah's excellent writing, another highly enjoyable portion of that article is the GSP-galaxy feud breaking out in the comments section. My favorite comment by far is from "TC Hunter 21" who writes: "Personally I think 7 is pretty small, 25 thats an actual accomplishment...lets wait and see what happens."

If that's not a former/current moonie sounding a little bit too much like a Yankees fan taunting a Red Sox supporter by stating that the Boston club's 7 titles are nice, but it's small fries compared to the Yanks' 26 World Series championships, I don't know what is.
Everyone who is headed out to Abilene, be sure to travel safely, and I hope to see some of you there.

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

I Wish I Was the Pedal Brake That You Depended On

Just when my level of amazement for technology begins to wane, things like this happen. After my post last Saturday about the book Love Me, Hate Me: Barry Bonds and the Making of An Antihero, I received an interesting email from someone who knows a little something about that book.

Barry Bonds?

Not likely. This family -friendly blog is a steroid-free zone, my friends.

No, it was Jeff Pearlman. Yes, he of the infamous John Rocker interview in Sports Illustrated. Yes, the same guy who wrote The Bad Guys Won, the upcoming Boys Will Be Boys on the 90's Cowboys dynasty, and the aforementioned Love Me, Hate Me, and yes, the same guy who could pass for a brother of Radiohead's Thom Yorke. That Jeff Pearlman.

It was just a quick note thanking me for blogging about Love Me, Hate Me, but after that, I'm sold on Pearlman. He didn't have to send me that kind of message, even if it only took him a few seconds to type. That's not to say that he's automatically gained entrance to the Running Down a Dream author-writer-columnist Hall-of-Fame, but with gestures like that, he's making a very strong case for himself.

With that said, I must also tell you that the ol' interwebs are really starting to freak me out.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I Was Chewin' Gum for Something to Do

Congratulations to Mr. Jeremy Masten for correctly naming "Never Let You Go" by Third Eye Blind as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

A few years ago, I jokingly referred to Facebook as the "Black Hole of Productivity", but it seems that some folks out there believe that between Facebook and a black hole, you might have better luck escaping from the former.

Are you a member of Facebook.com? You may have a lifetime contract.Some users have discovered that it is nearly impossible to remove themselves entirely from Facebook, setting off a fresh round of concern over the popular social network’s use of personal data.

While the Web site offers users the option to deactivate their accounts, Facebook servers keep copies of the information in those accounts indefinitely. Indeed, many users who have contacted Facebook to request that their accounts be deleted have not succeeded in erasing their records from the network.

“It’s like the Hotel California,” said Nipon Das, 34, a director at a biotechnology consulting firm in Manhattan, who tried unsuccessfully to delete his account this fall. “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

"How Sticky is Membership on Facebook? Just Try Breaking Free" by Maria Aspan in the February 11th edition of the NY Times.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Did You Cash in All Your Dreams?

It is my distinct honor to congratulate Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for his second consecutive win in the Caption Contest. Much thanks to Lance, Mike, and Josh for your entries, but no thanks to the Editor-in-Chief of the Blahg for his refusal to compete in the first place.

If you missed it, and goodness knows you probably did, here's the photo, and here is Joey's submission:

"So the doctor tells you to relax, but there's no way that's happening. He just POPS it up there. And that's why prostate exams are worse than POW camps. Anyway, Romney sucks! "

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Monday, February 11, 2008

I Wish I Was a Messenger and All the News Was Good

I've always made fun of my buddy Mason Orr for wearing the "Michael Bluth" outfit* of khakis and a navy blazer to GSP Formal events while I was at ACU, but Mason might also be able to break out the "Michael Bluth" costume at a future premiere of an Arrested Development film.

This just might be the best news we Arrested fans have heard in a very long time.
Jason Bateman has just confirmed to me that the creative minds behind Arrested Development (Mitch Hurwitz and Ron Howard) have put the wheels in motion toward a major motion picture of the Fox TV comedy so many of us adore. I'm told by insiders that Jason and other Bluth family members have received calls from producers (Hurwitz and Howard) asking if they would be willing to shoot a movie.

"I can confirm that a round of sniffing has started," Bateman says. "Any talk is targeting a poststrike situation, of course. I think, as always, that it's a question of whether the people with the money are willing to give our leader, Mitch Hurwitz, what he deserves for his participation. And I can speak for the cast when I say our fingers are crossed."

"Exclusive! Jason Bateman Confirms Arrested Development Movie Talks" by Kristin Dos Santos (no relation to FC Barcelona star Giovani Dos Santos)

*Editor's Note: In the interest of full disclosure, I have been known to choose the "Michael Bluth" outfit from time to time, especially last summer at my internship. Let's be honest here: It's a standard outfit for American males who have to adhere to a business professional wardrobe at one point or another. Also, Peyton Manning was seen rocking the "Michael Bluth", or as I sometimes also call it, the "Yacht Captain", at Super Bowl XLII. Whether you choose to call it the "Michael Bluth" or the "Yacht Captain", it's really the same thing.

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Sunday, February 10, 2008

I'm a Wild Light Blinding Bright

Congratulations to Ben for correctly naming "A Murder of One" by Counting Crows as the Saturday Song of the Day.


After a weekend where victories by Mike Huckabee in Louisana and Kansas continued to muddle the Republican nomination process, Barack Obama won by large margins in Washington, Nebraska, Maine, and Louisana to move ahead of Hillary Clinton in the Democratic race before key Tuesday contests in Maryland, D.C., and Virginia.


There was much made last month of Ted Kennedy's endorsement of Sen. Obama and today's piece on "Fox News Sunday" is probably the closest that President Bush will come to endorsing John McCain before he (most likely) wins the Republic nomination. I'm sure that each of you have your own opinions on the pros and cons of endorsements from Sen. Kennedy and President Bush, but there's one possible forthcoming endorsement that has the potential to signal a step across partisan lines by a prominent former member of the George W. Bush Administration.

Even though it requires a bit of reading between the lines during this interview between former Secretary of State and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell and CNN's Wolf Blitzer, it looks like Powell, a self-described Republican, could endorse Sen. Obama. Although Powell does not say those precise words, much less offer any type of time table for such a statement, it seems as though his description of wanting to support a candidate that has the party "behind them" would point towards the Democratic coalition that Obama is building and away from the ever-fracturing GOP.

I've always had a tremendous amount of respect for Colin Powell, and I highly recommend the autobiography that he co-authored with Joseph Persico entitled My American Journey. Again, the value of endorsements by any figure is always in the eye of the beholder, but it seems as though a potential Powell endorsement of Obama would carry more weight than most political head-nods.

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Saturday, February 9, 2008

Seven For a Secret Never to Be Told

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "Is It Any Wonder?" by Keane as the Friday Song of the Day.

I'm only 71 pages into Love Me, Hate Me: Barry Bonds and the Making of Antihero, but the aforementioned Mr. Bonds has already denied his former membership in the Cub Scouts, denied knowing an Arizona State teammate whose wedding he was in, and openly disrespected former Texas Ranger Oddibe McDowell. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but that looks like the "un-holy trinity" to me.

Current Reading

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Friday, February 8, 2008

Sometimes It's Hard to Know Where I Stand

A few notes from, as Luke Reeves might say, the world of "obscurity"...

Liverpool captured their first Premier League win of 2008 with a 3-0 defeat of Sunderland courtesy of second-half goals from Peter Crouch, Fernando Torres, and a late-penalty (pictured below) by skipper Steven Gerrard. After a January that saw the Reds draw against Wigan, Middlesbrough, and Aston Villa, lose a last-minute heartbreaker to West Ham United, it's not an overstatement to say that this win against Sunderland was sorely needed. Now, the Reds face familiar rivals Chelsea FC on Sunday at Stamford Bridge in London. There's one thing I can guarantee you following this match: Either John Middleton or yours truly will be writing derisive messages to the other party while most of you roll your eyes in boredom. That's really why you come here, isn't it?

Also, on Wednesday the U.S. Men's National Team faced off against archrival Mexico at Reliant Stadium in Houston. Sure, they called this an international "friendly", but when these two get together, that term really shouldn't be applied. For goodness sake, I think some bad blood is still simmering over the Mexican-American War. When Zachary Taylor is historically involved and the conflict only ended 160 years ago, I think it's asking a bit too much for two teams to stage a "friendly".

Take that, Santa Anna.Perhaps I've reached the limits of my insight on this matter, but my esteemed colleagues at the Jig and Twig were able to score tickets and provide a first-hand account of the madness. You can find Jig's account here, and Lance's thoughts here. As I've always said, it's good to know people in high places.


Gol de Mondragon (MEX) Gol de Altidore (USA)
Uploaded by DJKALIN24

The match ended in a 2-2 draw, and probably should have seen the U.S. earn a 3-2 victory courtesy of a goal by Nacogdoches native Clint Dempsey, but he was judged to be off-sides and the goal was disallowed. Even through the internet, I can hear my Dad muttering the words "of course, they're always off-sides."

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a Jozy Altidore jersey. The kid's going to be a star. A star, I tell you!

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In the Kingdom of the Good and True

David Brooks engages in a personal interview: "Questions for Dr. Retail" in today's NY Times.

The consumer marketplace has been bifurcating for years! It’s happening because the educated and uneducated lead different sorts of lives. Educated people are not only growing richer than less-educated people, but their lifestyles are diverging as well. A generation ago, educated families and less-educated families looked the same, but now high school graduates divorce at twice the rate of college graduates. High school grads are much more likely to have kids out of wedlock. High school grads are much more likely to be obese. They’re much more likely to smoke and to die younger.


Their attitudes are different. High school grads are much less optimistic than college grads. They express less social trust. They feel less safe in public. They report having fewer friends and lower aspirations. The less educated speak the dialect of struggle; the more educated, the dialect of self-fulfillment

Did you hear the message of Clinton’s speech Tuesday night? It’s a rotten world out there. Regular folks are getting the shaft. They need someone who’ll fight tougher, work harder and put loyalty over independence.

Then did you see the Hopemeister’s speech? His schtick makes sense if you’ve got a basic level of security in your life, if you’re loo
king up, not down. Meanwhile, Obama’s people are so taken with their messiah that soon they’ll be selling flowers at airports and arranging mass weddings. There’s a “Yes We Can” video floating around YouTube in which a bunch of celebrities like Scarlett Johansson and the guy from the Black Eyed Peas are singing the words to an Obama speech in escalating states of righteousness and ecstasy. If that video doesn’t creep out normal working-class voters, then nothing will.

Speaking of which...

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Thursday, February 7, 2008

I'm Starting to Believe It's Your Plan All Along

One of my friends, Russ Guild, loves to tell the story of how he faked appendecitis in middle school to get out of taking a test. Getting out of a test is great and all, but Russ kept faking the appendecitis until they actually put him under and removed his appendix. Sure, the appendix is a vestigial organ, and he doesn't really need it in the way he needs a kidney, but you have to admire (or not) that kind of dedication, even if it was to a fictitious reality.

The following story simultaneously manages to be hilarious, pitiful, and mindblowing. If I were pitching it to a Hollywood studio, I would frame it as Catch Me if You Can meets Varsity Blues. Without further ado, I give you the short, sad tale of Kevin Hart.
A Nevada high school football player who drew national attention after he claimed to have accepted a scholarship offer that never existed, yesterday admitted making up the entire story. "I wanted to play [Division I] ball more than anything," Kevin Hart said in a statement released by the Lyon County School District. "When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I made up what I wanted to be reality. I am sorry for disappointing and embarrassing my family, coaches, Fernley High School, the involved universities and reporters covering the story."

Hart, a 6-foot-5, 290-pound senior lineman, announced at a school-wide assembly last Friday that he had accepted a scholarship offer from the University of California. Hours later, however, recruiting Web sites began questioning whether he ever received such an offer. Yesterday, the first day high school seniors could officially accept college football scholarships, national media -- including The Washington Post, ESPN and Sports Illustrated -- had picked up Hart's story.
Earlier this week, representatives of California and other schools that Hart had mentioned said they had never recruited the player.

"Prep Football Player Gets Caught in a Lie" by Josh Barr of the Washington Post.

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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I Am a Little Divided, Do I Stay or Run Away?

"Twenty years later, Nolan Ryan's job is to once again revitalize the Texas Rangers.

The Rangers introduced the Hall of Fame pitcher as team president Wednesday with the fanfare of a major free-agent pickup, just as Ryan was in 1988 when Texas signed the right-hander to help fill seats and bring wins to the struggling franchise. Only now, the 61-year-old career strikeout leader who set many of his greatest milestones in a Rangers jersey is tasked with doing the same from the front office
."

"Nolan Ryan Returns to Rangers as Team President" courtesy of the Associated Press.
Robin Ventura, this is your warning, sir. I'm not sure if you were planning on visiting Arlington at any point in the near future, but unless your intinerary includes a few uppercuts from a 61-year old, I would stay far, far away. Again, this is the last warning you will receive, Mr. Ventura.

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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I Dreamt I Saw You Walking Up a Hillside in the Snow

As I said earlier today, it is already time for the second running of the Caption Contest.

Here's my submission: "Kooooooooooooool! Kooooooooooooooooool! Kooooooooool!"

Ok, I'm done now. I apologize in advance for such an ACU-centric reference. I would go out on a limb and call it a "joke", but some of you probably don't see it that way, because you probably wouldn't place it in the category of "humor", but you know what? That's okay by me.

Please place your entries/submissions in the comments section. Good luck to the competitors, both young and old alike.

Update: Again, as always, the Caption Contest runs through Sunday.

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We Were Perfect When We Started

A few housekeeping matters on Super Tuesday...


Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "Bad" from the U2 album The Unforgettable Fire as the Monday Song of the Day. Here's a great performance of the song from a Boston show during the 2001-portion of the "Elevation" Tour.


In the first-ever Running Down a Dream Caption Contest, Joseph Halbert won with his submission of "And that's when I threw up all over Rudy's. I mean EVERYWHERE." For those you who might wonder what Joey is talking about, he made an excellent reference to my frequent reguritation in the aftermath of the 2005 Austin Marathon. I probably scarred numerous people for life with my foolish decision to down 2 bottles of Fruit Punch Gatorade and 2 whole-wheat bagels immediately after finishing the race, but I did what I thought was best at the time. Look for the next Caption Contest tomorrow.

Current Reading--The Walk West: A Walk Across America 2 by Peter and Barbara Jenkins.

I've dubbed 2008 "The Year of Trying to Understand America" with the full understanding that this might be an impossible task that will lead to a myriad of contradictory conclusions, but in a Presidential election year, it seems like a worthwhile endeavor. If you have any books, movies, or television shows that you think might assist me in my quest, I would be glad to entertain your suggestions.

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Monday, February 4, 2008

True Colors Fly in Blue and Black

Congratulations to Mr. Jeremy Masten for correctly naming "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty as the Sunday Song of the Day.

Rest easy, everyone. We now have proof that the Sports Guy did not mix himself a Drano smoothie after last night's devastating loss by the Great Satan.

Now it all makes sense.

You bleed for your team, you follow them through thick and thin, you monitor every free-agent signing, you immerse yourself in draft day, you purchase the jerseys and caps, you plan your Sundays around the games ... and there's a little rainbow waiting at the end. You can't see it, but you know it's there. It's there. It has to be there. So you believe.

Of course, there's one catch: You might never get there. Every fan's worst fear. All that energy over the years just getting displaced, no release, no satisfaction, nothing. Season after season, no championship ... and then you die. I mean, isn't that what this is all about? Isn't that the nagging fear? That those little moral victories over the years won't make up for that big payoff at the end -- that one moment when everything comes together, when your team keeps winning, when you keep getting the breaks and you just can't lose.

And if none of this makes sense, well ... it does to me. I just watched somebody else's team win the Super Bowl. Giants 17, Patriots 14.


I must confess that a small part of me hurts for the Patriots, Simmons, and the entire fanbase of the Great Satan. Set aside their former smug satisfaction, thoughts of Spygate, and Bill Belichick leaving the field last night with :01 remaning on the clock. Instead, think if you had been working towards anything monumental for months and months, only to see it taken away at the last moment by the black sheep brother of your greatest rival.

After weeks and weeks of pressure, constant questions about perfection, and tons of potshots, the Pats fell a few minutes short of immortality, and as Eli Manning knelt to the turf in Glendale, Arizona, I was reminded once again how the pursuit of perfection is an unforgiving journey.
History will not view the Pats' season as a success despite the second-ever undefeated regular season. Instead, they will be viewed as a tragic collection of figures that, by all accounts, should have finally ushered the '72 Dolphins out of the spotlight, and entered into a rareified status that only comes along every so often in this era of parity and mediocrity.

Now, everyone is undefeated once again. When the next season begins in September, we will have these inevitable discussions around the final team remaining undefeated, constantly wondering if they can make it all the way. Those conversations will be full of possibility and conjecture, but they will always contain the phrase,"Yeah, they're undefeated, but what about Super Bowl XLII...?"

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Sunday, February 3, 2008

I'm a Bad Boy 'Cause I Don't Even Miss Her

Congratulations to Ms. Stacy Villescas and Mr. Joseph Halbert for correctly naming "Boys of Summer" from the Don Henley album Building the Perfect Beast as the Friday Song of the Day. Thanks are also in order to my Dad and John Middleton for the Don Henley-related trivia. If a celebrity is from East Texas, he or she is going to get the 5-star treatment here at Running Down a Dream.

Speaking of "Running Down a Dream", the editorial staff would like to thank Mr. Tom Petty for the plug tonight during the Super Bowl XLII halftime show. You'll note that we did not have to pay a hefty $3 million for a halftime plug, but merely convinced Mr. Petty and The Heartbreakers to play our namesake tune in return for a YouTube plug. Here you go, Tom.

Oh, you also want to talk about that game that also occurred on either side of Mr. Petty's performance? I can do that as well. For a game that was largely forgettable through the first 3 quarters, that final quarter was probably the most intense 15 minutes of football that I have watched since the 2006 Texas-USC Rose Bowl matchup, and we're talking about a game that featured the hated New York (Football) Giants and the Great Satan.
I'm not sure what the collective reaction in your locale was to the escape by Eli "Harry Houdini" Manning from Pats' pressure and subsequent heave downfield to an obviously living right David Tyree, but everyone around me screamed things at the television that looked something like this:

"Icantbelievewhatjusthappened!!!"

"HowdidEliManningdothat?"

"WhatkindofdealdidDavidTyreecutwiththedeviltomakethatcatch?"

"Whyareweallyellingatthetvscreenoverteamswenormallyhate?"



(Yes, we were in the "talking so fast so that all of your words run together" mode.)

As 85% of you then witnessed, Eli Manning heaved a pass to the corner of the endzone into the waiting arms of Plaxico Burress, and millions of yet-to-be born children in the New York-Connecticut-New Jersey tri-state area will be saddled with names like Plaxico Wasserstein because of that famed connection.

In the end, Eli Manning stood as the Super Bowl MVP after outdueling Tom Brady, and I am currently eating a nice baked serving of crow for all of the grief that I constantly piled on the youngest Manning brother. Frankly, I'm expecting to walk outside right now and see a flock of pigs winging through the sky in a perfect "V" and cats living with dogs in perfect harmony. It's true, my friends. Hell has frozen over, Satan (not the Great Satan) has pulled out the tire chains, and everyone is stockpiling canned goods.

As someone once said, "It's not the end of the world, but I think you can see it from here."


I would write more, but I need to do little checking to make sure that the Sports Guy and Joey Halbert have not done anything rash after the Great Satan's once perfect season fell apart like a tumbleweed in the Arizona desert. In fact, Joseph summed things up well when he told me after the game, "How the mighty have fallen. Karma is a cruel, cruel mistress."


Too true, Joseph.


Too true.

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Friday, February 1, 2008

A Voice Inside My Head Said Don't Look Back, You Can Never Look Back


[Setting: Mid-town Manhattan outside of the NFL Offices]

Member of Immanuel Bible Church (Springfield, VA): Commissioner Goodell, excuse me, sir, Commissioner Goodell, excuse me.

Roger Goodell: [Turns around quickly] Yes?

Member of Immanuel Bible Church (Springfield, VA): Commissioner, on behalf of Immanuel Bible Church in Springfield, Virginia, I want to invite you to our annual Super Bowl party where you can watch the big game on a six-foot screen. Six-feet, Roger! That's larger than the sub sandwich you and Bill Belichick just polished off after discussing what to do about Spygate.


Roger Goodell: Six-foot screen, you say? Hmmmmmm.


Member of Immanuel Bible Church: Yes sir, and all the pizza you can handle.


Roger Goodell: Gee, I really appreciate the offer, but I just think I'm going to have to decline.


Member of Immanuel Bible Church: Why's that, Rog? As I said earlier, I know you love subs. We can scrap the pizza order for subs.


Roger Goodell: Well, it's not that, although I do love subs. It's just this copyright thing.


Member of Immanuel Bible Church: What copyright thing?


Roger Goodell: Well, our lawyers tell me that the NFL has a policy banning public showing of games on TV sets or screens larger than 55 inches, which puts you about 17 inches over the line.


Member of Immanuel Bible Church: Well, what about the sports bars with huuuuuge screens?


Roger Goodell: [Moves hands in same motion as Rob Schneider in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York when asking Kevin McAllister for a tip]


Member of Immanuel Bible Church: I see, Roger. No need to rub it in, dude.


Roger Goodell: Well, see you around. I've got to get out to Arizona for the game. All this time near Yankee Stadium has really been freaking me out.

"NFL Pulls Plug on Big-Screen Church Parties for Super Bowl" by Jacqueline L. Salmon of the Washington Post.

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Those Days are Gone Forever, I Should Just Let 'Em Go

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Sloop John B." by the Beach Boys as the Thursday Song of the Day.

I should also send my congratulations along to John and his wife, Chelsea, on the birth of their first child. John, I realize your favorite English football club shares your wife's first name and all, but are you really going to raise your daugther to cheer for Lampard, Drogba, Terry & Co.? If (when) you realize the error of your ways, I'll be glad to engaging in a little pro-Liverpool brainwashing.

Just kidding.

I think.

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