His Answer Came in Actions, He Never Spoke a Word

After a spirited discussion in the comments section of yesterday's post regarding Tim's suggestion that I switch my baseball allegiances from the Rangers to the 'Stros, I'm going to link to the end-all, be-all source for the topic to allow everyone to know where I stand on the topic.

Islam has the Koran, Judaism has the Tanakh and the Talmud, and in the world of sports fandom, the disciples of Bill Simmons have "The Twenty Rules for Being a True Fan". This column may have been written over 7 years (Editor's Note: After noticing that at the top of the page, I now feel older than James Earl Jones in The Sandlot), but it still rings true for all who believe.

This column has been brewing for about six weeks, ever since a startling phone conversation with one of my Page 2 bosses (KJ, a Seattle native and die-hard Seahawks fan). We were chatting about the Patriots and Steelers potentially colliding in the playoffs, when KJ suddenly said, "At least if my Steelers lose, I'll be happy for you, because the Pats made it." Huh? My Steelers???

And this was how I found out that KJ -- my esteemed editor and friend, a good man, a father and a husband, the man who makes Page 2 run so smoothly -- was a Sports Bigamist. As it turns out, the Steelers are KJ's Second-Favorite Team, whatever that means. Apparently, as long as Pittsburgh isn't playing Seattle, he roots for the Steelers, but he doesn't root for the Steelers quite as hard as he roots for the Seahawks, and if both teams are doing well, he chooses the Seahawks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about the Steelers, and I think I just lost control of my bowels.

Please read the column, take time to think about it, and then you will understand why I (must) support the only American League franchise to have never reached the ALCS.

Current Reading

Tree of Smoke: A Novel by Denis Johnson

Wondering If We Spent Our Living Days Well

Thanks to everyone who has submitted entries thus far for this week's Caption Contest. Be sure to keep them coming through Sunday. In the words of LBJ: "Vote early, and vote often."

An event that occurred yesterday has captured my mind, and I've come to the most discerning readership in the entire world for answers. In the midst of a conversation where my friend [name removed to protect the innocent] made a joke about a "mer-man", I threw out the Zoolander "Mer-man! (High pitched cough). Mer-man!!" quote. Hours later, another one of my friends, [name again removed to protect the innocent], called me out for quoting movies that were "cool in 2001."
Here's the question: What's the applicable statute of limitations on quoting a given movie? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Until the end of time in the right situations?

These are things I need to know. The other day, I'm pretty sure I utilized a Sandlot "For-ev-er" courtesy of Michael "Squints" Paladoris and received a positive response, but was that simply pity rather than honor and respect?
Let me know, dear readers. I eagerly await your responses.