Under Black Belly of Cloud in the Rain

Congratulations to Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for correctly naming "The Story" by Brandi Carlile as the Monday Song of the Day. To preserve my masculinity, but perhaps not my (perceived) insider status, I first heard the song on the GM commercial playing non-stop during the Olympics and not during Grey's Anatomy.

In an event that has been sorely missed by readers young and old, the Running Down a Dream Caption Contest returns today with the fury of a thousand suns, or at least 15 Chinese female gymnasts.
My submission: "After being notified that slingshot had again not received approval as an officially sanctioned Olympic sport, a member of the potential Bolivian squad takes a potshot at the International Olympic Committee headquarters."

As always, place your submissions in the comments section, and may the best man/woman/child win. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday, August 24th.

*Actual Caption: An anti-government demonstrator uses a slingshot during a strike at the Che Guevara street in the popular quarter "Plan 3000" in Santa Cruz, August 19, 2008. Provinces of Santa Cruz, Beni, Pando, Tarija and Chuquisaca called for general strikes demanding autonomy from the central government of President Evo Morales and a greater cut of the country's booming energy revenues. REUTERS/David Mercado (BOLIVIA).

You'll Come Back Again and I'll Still Be Your Friend

Congratulations to Mrs. Ashley Tuggle and Mr. Stephen Olson a.k.a. "Richtoria's Secret" for both naming "The Last Stop" by the Dave Matthews Band as the Sunday Song of the Day.

Also, I'm very glad to announce the mysterious "Know Limit Soldier" as the victor of this week's Caption Contest for his or her (I'm equal opportunity) submission of: "A rare glimpse of a Gator without its jean shorts" in response to the photo of Tim "Urban Meyer's Meal Ticket" Tebow holding a small Caucasian child like a pigskin.

That's the winning formula, folks. Jorts jokes regarding Florida Gators fans equal instant success. For further proof, I simply typed in the innocuous phrase "Gators Fan Jorts" into Google Image Search and the masterpiece above was displayed before my very eyes. It's not the theory of relativity or anything, ladies and gentlemen. Again, thanks to everyone for your entries and please participate next week.

Furthermore, I've heard the cries of the female readers (I assume) of Running Down a Dream, and I'll do what I can to arrange a special appearance by my apparently "hot" cousin at Baylor Law sometime in the next year. No guarantees though, ladies. I think he's dating someone.

Sing A Song, Don't Be Long, Thrill Me to the Marrow

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Running Down a Dream readers of all ages, it is once again time for that much beloved duel of wits known as the Running Down a Dream Caption Contest.

Due to its status as the most famous trophy in the entire sporting landscape*, it is not surprising that the Heisman (Memorial) Trophy is making its second appearance in the Caption Contest, but instead of the 2008 Democratic Candidate for President of the United States doing his own version of the stiff-arm in Mack Brown's office while holding Ricky or Earl's Heisman, this time the Heisman is represented by the current trophy holder, the jump-pass extradonaire himself, the veritable sideburn adorned heartbeat of Gator Nation, Mr. Tim Tebow.
My submission: "Not pictured: The horrific aftermath of Tony Romo's attempt to replicate Tebow's picture."

As always, place your entries in the comments section. Keep it pithy, keep it edgy, and for goodness sake, take no prisoners. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday the 20th.

*An inherently unverifiable statement based on complete conjecture.

When You Heard the End Result, I Told You It Was Not My Fault

Ladies and gentlemen, this week's Caption Contest is not going to reach its full potential unless you, the readers of this blog, start acting like you care about said contest's vitality.

Do with this information what you will.

Also, I'm convinced this morning's Illinois/Indiana earthquake was God's retribution for the abomination that is Kyle Orton's neckbeard.

Mr. Orton, with a sling and a stone, David slew Goliath. With a Gillette Mach 3, you can stop natural disasters.

Looking Back is a Trap Sometimes, Being Here is So Easy to Do

Muted congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Alive" by Pearl Jam as the Sunday Song of the Day. Mr. Middleton, if the Blues can only draw with Wigan 1-1 at "Fortress" Stamford Bridge, how are they going to withstand consecutive matches with Liverpool, Man. U., and Liverpool (once again) in the span of a week?

Last week in Civil Liberties, we discussed attorney advertising, and I swore a silent oath to myself that I would never engage in such a practice, but it appears others are making that promise ring hollow.

Finally, congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson as the winner of last week's Caption Contest (the Gen. Petraeus/Wii photo*).

Dan's response: "Why buy body armor when there are video games to be played?"

This Week's Photo

My submission: "The first suspect in Big Papi's murder? This mysterious JBD fellow."

As always, the Caption Contest runs through Sunday (4/20). Heh, 4/20. Um, not that I know anything about that. I'll just show myself out and you can place your submissions in the comments section.

*After further examination of the photo, General Petraeus seems to be swinging left-handed while the character on the screen is swinging from a right-handed position. Perhaps there's something I'm missing here, but if there's a metaphor for our oft-bungled presence in Iraq, that might be it.

Don't Let the Days Go By

Congratulations to Mrs. Sarah Yee as the latest winner of the McLennan County (as opposed to World) Famous Running Down a Dream Caption Contest.

For this extremely troubling photograph of talk-show raconteur Larry King, she gave this response:

"A fork and this man = why the lights really went out in Georgia."

This Week's Photo

In honor of the Southwest Airlines Wii-homage commercial (which can be viewed here) and General Petraeus's appearance this week on Capitol Hill, here's my submission: "Iraq: Want to Get Away?"

As always, place your submissions in the comments section. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday (4/13).

Note: Once again, thanks to the good folks over at Deadspin for the photo.

It's the Picket Line or the Parade

Congratulations to Mr. Luke Reeves as the winner of last week's Caption Contest for his submission of the following entry on the "jumping bull" picture:

[Camera man directly underneath bull with arm raised] "Ok Babe, I'm no doc but I'll give it a shot. You're gonna need to turn your head and cough."

Granted, Luke was the only person who took the time last week to enter the contest, but there is something to be said for his persistence, my friends. Shame on the rest of you.

This Week's Photo

My submission: "At long last, the true effects of sitting in front of a Lite-Brite map of the world night after night were revealed to a shocked nation."

As always, place your entries in the Comments Section. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday (4/6).

Now if you will excuse me, I'm off to Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" to avoid spoilers related to the Liverpool-Arsenal Champions League quarterfinal match taking place at THIS.VERY.MOMENT.

Every Day I Wake Up and It's Sunday

Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson as the winner of last week's Caption Contest with this inappropriate, yet incredibly hilarious, submission:

"Grandpa orders from the male side of the menu at Emperors Club VIP."

Such a statement connected with a picture of former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue, Tom Brady, and Eli Manning makes me want to take a nice long swig of Drano, but I'm trying to see the humor in the situation. Thanks to everyone for entering last week's Caption Contest.

And without further ado...this week's edition of the greatest thing to happen to the internet since the birth of Al Gore, the Running Down a Dream Caption Contest.
My submission: [Guy in the front row] "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go buy you a bag of popcorn, a beer, and cotton candy when that bull leaps over the wall and into these stands in a single bound. What's that? Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

As always, the Caption Contest runs through Sunday. If you win this week, you get to heap further grief on Luke Reeves for supporting Duke Basketball, the Ebola Virus, and everything else wrong with the world.

Note: Thanks to the good folks over at Deadspin for the "jumping bull" photos.

He Works in the Saddle and He Sleeps in the Canyons

It may be the middle of March, but that does not mean we cannot continue to pursue America's Pastime.

Baseball?

No, my friend.

The Caption Contest, courtesy of the good folks (ahem, folk) at Running Down a Dream.

This week's photo:

My submission: "Tom, tough loss in the Super Bowl. Honestly, I still cannot believe that Manning kid beat you in the clutch. What's his name, ummmm, ah, who cares? Anyway, as I was saying...oh, Eli, hello. I had no idea you were standing there. I thought you were a cardboard cut-out. How are Peyton and Archie?

As always, place your submissions in the comments section. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday, the 23rd.

Statue of Liberty Play, Only Works Once, Don't Throw It Away

In what is becoming a regular occurrence 'round these parts, Mr. Joey Halbert has once again won the Caption Contest (related to last week's photo of Brett Favre on Draft Day) with this submission:

"A deal with Wrangler? No, they're way too baggy. It's Girbaud or nothing. Yeah, make sure they know I shave my quads."

It really was a simpler time back in the early 90's when people could wear jorts without looking like a renegade member of New Kids on the Block. Ah, if the early 90's were the Golden Age for jorts, surely Brett Favre was the Pericles of that age.

(Turning to Camera Two)

If you missed it, and I'm sure you did, Liverpool pulled off what the press are labeling "An Italian Job" in securing a great win 1-0 yesterday in Milan against Internazionale to advance to the Champions League quarterfinals. I would regale you with video of the wonder strike by Fernando Torres that ensured the Reds' place in the Final 8, but UEFA polices the internet like the Feds police Eliot Spitzer (and the hits just keep on coming, folks). The draw for the quarterfinals and semifinals is taking place Friday in Nyon, Switzerland, and you can rest assured that Running Down a Dream will have full coverage of the festivities.

My Occupational Hazard Being My Occupation's Just Not Around

I was notified yesterday by an ardent fan of Running Down a Dream (yes, they exist) that I had not announced the winner for last week's Caption Contest, and lo and behold, I have neglected my duties to you, my ever faithful readership.

Fear not, for I come bearing one of those awards show envelopes containing the winner of last week's contest, who happens to be................Mr. Ryan Searcey. His winning submission for this photo:"I can't believe I screwed Searcey out of a victory in the Caption Contest last week in favor of that AGGIE Mike May. What in the hell have I done? I better go hide!"

Much thanks to the Editor-in-Chief of the Blahg, Mr. Joey Halbert, Mr. Ben Grant for their submissions. I also appreciated the hypothetical answer I received from Mr. Mike May.

This week's Caption Contest focuses on the momentous events which occurred yesterday. Sure, we can talk about that "Presidential Election/Primary" thing, but let's talk about something that has the ability to cause grown men (see: John Madden, Peter King, and the entire male population of Wisconsin) to weep like schoolgirls: The retirement of Brett Favre.

In honor of gritty, gutty #4, this week's photo takes you back to where it all began for Favre: the day he was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons after an illustrious career at the University of Southern Mississippi.My submission: "Yes sir, I would love to play for the Falcons. A $1,000,000 signing bonus? Gee, that's great. I can buy at least...............250 new pairs of jorts with that kind of cash. Thanks again, sir. Bye."

As always, place your submissions in the comments section, and best of luck to everyone. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday.

(Photo courtesy of the good folks at Deadspin)

Wondering If We Spent Our Living Days Well

Thanks to everyone who has submitted entries thus far for this week's Caption Contest. Be sure to keep them coming through Sunday. In the words of LBJ: "Vote early, and vote often."

An event that occurred yesterday has captured my mind, and I've come to the most discerning readership in the entire world for answers. In the midst of a conversation where my friend [name removed to protect the innocent] made a joke about a "mer-man", I threw out the Zoolander "Mer-man! (High pitched cough). Mer-man!!" quote. Hours later, another one of my friends, [name again removed to protect the innocent], called me out for quoting movies that were "cool in 2001."
Here's the question: What's the applicable statute of limitations on quoting a given movie? 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Until the end of time in the right situations?

These are things I need to know. The other day, I'm pretty sure I utilized a Sandlot "For-ev-er" courtesy of Michael "Squints" Paladoris and received a positive response, but was that simply pity rather than honor and respect?
Let me know, dear readers. I eagerly await your responses.

You and I Had to Be the Standing Joke of the Year

Congratulations to Mr. Mike May as the winner of this week's Caption Contest for his submission of "Change we can believe in. Ricky's Heisman is getting a new address," which was very closely followed by Mr. Ryan Searcey's entry: "All I need now is a blunt and dreads!"

Just because I want to capitalize on the momentum of last week's Caption Contest, we're starting this week's showdown right........now.
Note: Photo courtesy of Ms. Nikki Walker. Taken immediately after the Manning/Tyree miracle play in the dying moments of Super Bowl XLII.

As always, place your entries in the Comments Section through next Sunday, and maybe the winner will receive something special. Then again, maybe not. I guess you'll just have to stick around to find out, my friends.

I'm Stranded Behind the Horizon Line

I must apologize to you, the loyal reader, for neglecting the Running Down a Dream Caption Contest in its infancy, but today it has returned with new vigor, new purpose, and....a new picture!!!

Note: This picture was taken yesterday in Mack Brown's office. No, it really was.

As always, place your submissions in the comments section, and may the best man/woman/other win. The Caption Contest runs through Sunday.

Here's my submission--"Note to self: In the fall, ask John McCain what it was like to actually play with John Heisman."

Did You Cash in All Your Dreams?

It is my distinct honor to congratulate Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for his second consecutive win in the Caption Contest. Much thanks to Lance, Mike, and Josh for your entries, but no thanks to the Editor-in-Chief of the Blahg for his refusal to compete in the first place.

If you missed it, and goodness knows you probably did, here's the photo, and here is Joey's submission:

"So the doctor tells you to relax, but there's no way that's happening. He just POPS it up there. And that's why prostate exams are worse than POW camps. Anyway, Romney sucks! "

I Dreamt I Saw You Walking Up a Hillside in the Snow

As I said earlier today, it is already time for the second running of the Caption Contest.

Here's my submission: "Kooooooooooooool! Kooooooooooooooooool! Kooooooooool!"

Ok, I'm done now. I apologize in advance for such an ACU-centric reference. I would go out on a limb and call it a "joke", but some of you probably don't see it that way, because you probably wouldn't place it in the category of "humor", but you know what? That's okay by me.

Please place your entries/submissions in the comments section. Good luck to the competitors, both young and old alike.

Update: Again, as always, the Caption Contest runs through Sunday.

We Were Perfect When We Started

A few housekeeping matters on Super Tuesday...

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "Bad" from the U2 album The Unforgettable Fire as the Monday Song of the Day. Here's a great performance of the song from a Boston show during the 2001-portion of the "Elevation" Tour.

In the first-ever Running Down a Dream Caption Contest, Joseph Halbert won with his submission of "And that's when I threw up all over Rudy's. I mean EVERYWHERE." For those you who might wonder what Joey is talking about, he made an excellent reference to my frequent reguritation in the aftermath of the 2005 Austin Marathon. I probably scarred numerous people for life with my foolish decision to down 2 bottles of Fruit Punch Gatorade and 2 whole-wheat bagels immediately after finishing the race, but I did what I thought was best at the time. Look for the next Caption Contest tomorrow.

Current Reading--The Walk West: A Walk Across America 2 by Peter and Barbara Jenkins.

I've dubbed 2008 "The Year of Trying to Understand America" with the full understanding that this might be an impossible task that will lead to a myriad of contradictory conclusions, but in a Presidential election year, it seems like a worthwhile endeavor. If you have any books, movies, or television shows that you think might assist me in my quest, I would be glad to entertain your suggestions.

A Dreamer Dreams, She Never Dies

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Running Down a Dream enthusiasts of all ages,

Since October 2004, many of you have competed in the world(or not)famous Song of the Day Contest. Now, it is time to move to a new realm of competition: Providing pithy, insightful, or disparaging comments for photos that catch my eye.

The first photo in the Caption Contest was taken by Mr. Hutton Harris during the reception for the Allen-Hardie wedding on January 5, 2008.
The winning submission will be entered into a drawing for a photo signed by every member of the 1997 Whitehouse White Sox Little League baseball team, which includes yours truly. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.

Update: The Caption Contest runs through Sunday.