Well, I Feel So Broke Up, I Wanna Go Home

Congratulations to Mr. Joseph Halbert and Mr. Jeremy Masten for correctly naming "Champagne Supernova" from the Oasis album (What's the Story) Morning Glory? as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

There is an episode in Season 3 of The Office where Michael happily informs Jan that no one at the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin is disgruntled with the company, but much to the contrary, everyone at the Scranton branch is extremely "gruntled".

Well, it seems that a group of Liverpool supporters is not quite "gruntled" with the fact that Tom Hicks and George Gillette still own the club:

Liverpool's American owners are facing a new takeover bid -- from frustrated fans. The longshot member-share scheme, set to be launched Thursday, aims to raise an estimated $1 billion to oust Tom Hicks of Dallas and George Gillett Jr. of Vail, Colo., and fund a new stadium. Inspired by the FC Barcelona model, the group -- Share Liverpool FC -- will appeal for 100,000 fans to each contribute up to $10,000.

"Liverpool Fans Trying to Buy Out American Owners" from the Associated Press.

I realize I engaged in a little panhandling last year to acquire the "Jesus Hates the Yankees" t-shirt, but is there any chance that someone has $10,000 just lying around that they wouldn't mind sending in my general direction?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Anyone?

A Dreamer Dreams, She Never Dies

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Running Down a Dream enthusiasts of all ages,

Since October 2004, many of you have competed in the world(or not)famous Song of the Day Contest. Now, it is time to move to a new realm of competition: Providing pithy, insightful, or disparaging comments for photos that catch my eye.

The first photo in the Caption Contest was taken by Mr. Hutton Harris during the reception for the Allen-Hardie wedding on January 5, 2008.
The winning submission will be entered into a drawing for a photo signed by every member of the 1997 Whitehouse White Sox Little League baseball team, which includes yours truly. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.

Update: The Caption Contest runs through Sunday.

Wake Up the Dawn and Ask Her Why

Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson for correctly naming "Holiday in Spain" by Counting Crows as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

Also, after getting called out by Dan for a lack of fiction selections in yesterday's post, I decided to pick up Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. Judging by the following paragraphs, I think it's going to be quite an interesting read.

Among writers of the younger -- which these days means under forty -- generation, David Foster Wallace has a reputation as a wild-card savant. His latest offering, "Infinite Jest," has been moving toward us like an ocean disturbance, pushing increasingly hyperbolic rumors before it: that the author could not stop writing; that the publisher was begging for cuts of hundreds of pages; that it was, qua novel, a very strange piece of business altogether.

Now it's here and, yes, it is strange, not just in its radically cantilevered plot conception but also in its size (more than a thousand pages, one tenth of that bulk taking the form of endnotes): this, mind you, in an era when publishers express very real doubts about whether the younger generation -- presumably a good part of Wallace's target audience -- reads at all.

Review by Sven Birkerts in the February 1996 edition of The Atlantic Monthly.

If I Bring a Little Music I Can Fit Right In

Congratulations to Mr. Jeffrey McCain for correctly naming "Gone for Good" by the Shins as the 2nd Monday Song of the Day. Jeff, I'm afraid the Running Down a Dream Song of the Day scoring system does not award style points for the manner in which answers are delivered, but if style points were available, your response would have received a perfect 10. Well, at least from the Russian judge.

Future Reading

• The Conservative Soul: How We Lost It, How to Get It Back by Andrew Sullivan

In this bold and powerful book, Andrew Sullivan criticizes our government for acting too often, too quickly, and too expensively. He champions a political philosophy based on skepticism and reason, rather than certainty and fundamentalism. He defends a Christianity that is sincere but not intolerant; and a politics that respects religion by keeping its distance. And he makes a provocative, heartfelt case for a revived conservatism at peace with the modern world, dedicated to restraining government and empowering individuals to live rich and fulfilling lives.

Synopsis from Barnes and Noble.

• Blood of the Liberals by George Packer (I know, it sounds like a horror movie directed by Karl Rove)

An acclaimed journalist and novelist explores the legacy and future of American liberalism through the history of his family's politically active history

George Packer's maternal grandfather, George Huddleston, was a populist congressman from Alabama in the early part of the century--an agrarian liberal in the Jacksonian mold who opposed the New Deal. Packer's father was a Kennedy-era liberal, a law professor and dean at Stanford whose convictions were sorely--and ultimately fatally--tested in the campus upheavals of the 1960s.

The inheritor of two sometimes conflicting strains of the great American liberal tradition, Packer discusses the testing of ideals in the lives of his father and grandfather and his own struggle to understand the place of the progressive tradition in our currently polarized political climate. Searching, engrossing, and persuasive, this is an original, intimate examination of the meaning of politics in American lives.

Synopsis from Barnes and Noble

• Love Me, Hate Me: Barry Bonds and the Making of an Antihero by Jeff Pearlman

Pearlman, former staff writer with Sports Illustrated and Newsday, delivers a fully realized, if hardly appealing, portrait of baseball slugger Barry Bonds, who has perplexed teammates, fans, and the press for years with sometimes-indifferent play, an almost-joyful cruelty toward seemingly everyone (except kids), and a near-total disregard for the rules of the game, if allegations of his use of performance-enhancing drugs are true.

At the same time, Pearlman's Barry Bonds is a man of astonishing talent and, on occasion, humanity. Bonds' career is fully traced here--from his pampered boyhood as the son of another gifted but troubled player (Bobby Bonds) through his successes at Arizona State, through his years as a superstar with the Pittsburgh Pirates and San Francisco Giants, including his pursuit of Hank Aaron's home-run record.

Drug-use allegations aside, it's hard not to boo Barry Bonds for the teammate and man he appears to be, so damning is Pearlman's profile. Yet the reader is always reminded of Bonds' supreme talent. A highly readable companion to Fainaru-Wada and Williams' recent Game of Shadows, which relates in greater detail Bonds' alleged use of performance-enhancing drugs.

Review from Amazon.com

• Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville

It's hard to think of a work that has so influenced our understanding of the United States as this—still the most authoritative, reflective set of observations about American institutions and the American character ever written. That its author was a Frenchman, and an aristocrat at that, and that he was balanced and penetrating has often occasioned rueful surprise.

However, de Tocqueville's distance from his subject is precisely what lends his observations such continuing currency. A few decades ago, for instance, we read Tocqueville for his prediction that Russia and the United States would one day contest for pre-eminence. Now, we ought to read him (Iraqis and Afghans should, too) for his classic analyses of the link between political parties and free associations and for his reflections on such matters as religion and public life, and "self-interest properly understood."

Review from Amazon.com

The Train is Getting Way Too Loud

I'm not going to classify David Bowie circa 1971-72 as clairvoyant, but he might just have written the theme song for the 2008 Presidential Election about 36 years too early.

How's It Going to Be When You Don't Know Me?

Congratulations to Ms. Cris Carpenter for correctly naming "How's it Going to Be?" by Third Eye Blind as the Monday Song of the Day. In honor of Cris, I will do my best to keep the content of this post out of the dreaded category of "lame".

I've written recently about the public relations battle that the Beijing 2008 Olympic Organizing Committee is currently waging, but today the hits just kept on coming.

Six workers have died building venues for the 2008 Beijing Olympics over the last five years, an acknowledgment Monday that came after a series of clarifications by a Chinese official. Ding Zhenkuan, deputy chief of Beijing's Municipal Bureau of Work Safety, initially told reporters no deaths had taken place at the 91,000-seat National Stadium, known as the "Bird's Nest" and the site for the opening and closing ceremonies.

He later said two died there and then added there were six worker deaths in total at all sites, without elaborating on the other four deaths.

"China Acknowledges Six Have Died Building Beijing Venues" courtesy of the Associated Press.

I Wonder, Is There Anything I'm Going to Miss?

Despite the fact that the following piece was drawn from The Sun (the leading English tabloid as well as the paper with the highest circulation of any English-language newspaper in the world), I must give credit to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for passing along: "Obama Forever Blowing Bubbles". If that headline seems a bit odd, let me explain.

Due to family connections in Britain, Obama apparently became a West Ham United supporter five years ago and continues to follow the Hammers as closely as possible given his current, ahem, obligations.

“He never really followed it, though, until he was told all about the passion of West Ham fans by some of his English relatives. He’s always keen to find out how his adopted club are getting on.”

Now, Obama's support of West Ham United is certainly not as enticing as if he, John McCain, or any other candidate were to reveal that they supported, oh say, Liverpool. That would be an automatic vote-clincher in my book. Nonetheless, a possible President who follows the Hammers is much more palatable than what you are about to read.

Rival Hillary, 60, has been linked with Man Utd after hubby Bill, the ex-President, revealed the Reds were his favourite team.

Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, the Clintons support the English-version of the Evil Empire. Perhaps you disagree with the Clintons on policy matters or maybe it is more a visceral opposition to the return of "Billary", but I can tell you this: We do not need Man. U. supporters in the Oval Office.

Go forth and do what you must, faithful readers.

Folk Down There Really Don't Care Which Way the Pressure Lies

Congratulations to Ms. Sammie Marshall for correctly naming "Misty Mountain Hop" from Led Zeppelin's album IV as the Sunday Song of the Day.

It's probably a bit like rooting for death, taxes, and Wal-Mart, but Tiger Woods simply continues to amaze.

"He's the best player the game has ever seen, as far as I'm concerned," said Stewart Cink, who played in Woods' group over the weekend. "Just to watch him play and see how he goes about his business. I like how he stays calm and stays on task, whether he's two or three shots behind or eight shots ahead. It's the same Tiger Woods. He makes it look easy, but it's not easy."

"Honestly … everyone needs to leave the guy alone," Couples said. "Every time he gets upset, he wins by 15 shots. We have to tout him, tell him how great he is, be enamored."

"Unlike the SoCal Weather, Woods Delivers With Consistency" by Bob Harig

Why Don't You Take a Good Look at Yourself and Describe What You See?

For a large portion of the first-half yesterday, the part-timers of Havant & Waterlooville were writing the script for the greatest upset in the history of the FA Cup. Unfortunately, they had to return to the pitch at Anfield for the second 45-minute period, and the impossible dream was lost amid Yossi Benayoun's second hat-trick in a Liverpool uniform.

Liverpoolvhavant_and_waterlooville
Uploaded by gunner5111

As a Liverpool supporter, it was difficult for me to truly appreciate the potential magnitude of a Havant upset, if only because it would lead to my favorite football club always winding up on the end of a trivia question relating to some of the largest upsets in sports history.

The lone professional player on Havant and Waterlooville's squad, 19-year old Alfie "Harry" Potter, was all over the pitch in the first-half, and on his way to becoming a legend to hundreds of underdogs around the soccer universe, but in the end, the combined skill and force of the Reds dealt the final blow to H&W's Cinderalla run.

In This Time of Introspection, On the Eve of My Election

I was only 10 months old when Ronald Reagan took Walter Mondale behind the proverbial woodshed, and I still relish the 52-17 drubbing that America's Team issued to the Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXVII, but Obama's 55-27 (give or take a point either way) destruction of Hillary Clinton in the South Carolina Democratic primary would seem to be a harbinger of things to come on Super Tuesday.

It will be very interesting to see how the national media outlets spin Obama's victory due to the voter backlash that seemingly occurred in New Hampshire after the flood of messianic-headlines appeared following his triumph in the Hawkeye State.

I fully realize that the previous sentence seems to imply that the national media have an interest in promoting and fostering "Obamamania", but after all of the stories written since his famed speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention describing his meteoric rise, doesn't that seem to be the case?

Let me add that I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing as a potential Obama (or McCain for that matter) presidency would be a welcome movement away from the partisan bitterness and strife that has characterized American politics over the last 15 years.

I honestly have no idea what is going to happen between now and November, but tonight's events are hopefully an indication that the American electorate might just finally be ready to move on from the "scorched earth" politics that we have become accustomed to during the Clinton/Morris/Bush/Rove period.

We Were Born With Our Eyes Wide Open

Chuck Klosterman begins in earnest his campaign for induction into the Running Down a Dream author/writer/columnist Hall-of-Fame.

If the Patriots win, they will just become this thing that scorched the earth for five months before capturing a trophy that was never in doubt. Future historians will describe this New England team as if it were a machine. Everyone will concede the Pats' superlative greatness, but the 19 wins will be just a collection of numbers. But if they lose -- especially if they lose late -- the New England Patriots will be the most memorable collection of individuals in the history of pro football.

They will prove that nothing in this world is guaranteed, that past returns do not guarantee future results, that failure is what ultimately defines us and that Gisele will probably date a bunch of other dudes in her life, because man is eternally fallible.

Losing isn't everything. It's the only thing.

"All Too Perfect" by Chuck Klosterman.

You Got to Do What You Should

The Third Edition of "Why Running Down a Dream loves the FA Cup" focuses once again on the great disparities between the sides at some points in the competition.

(Editions #1 and #2 can be found here)

When the players from Havant and Waterlooville step onto the pitch at Anfield this Saturday to take on Liverpool, they will be facing a squad that is composed of players that are paid ridiculous sums of money solely to play a professional sport.

A quick glance at their own resumes would reveal something very different...

• The manager, Shaun Gale, runs a sportswear business in his spare time.
• First-team goalkeeper, Kevin Scriven, is a property-developer in his family business
• Second-team goalkeeper, Tom Taylor, is a plumber and barman.
• Defender Neil Sharp is a Courier Driver for Lynx UPS.
• Left-back Justin Gregory is studying sports therapy at Chichester University.
• Center-back Jay Smith is a quantity surveyor (whatever that is) in Surrey/Middlesex.
• Center-back Phil Warner works for a plumbing company.
• Right-back Shaun Wilkinson works for his father's lagging firm doing whatever it is that people in lagging firms do.
• Left-back Brett Poate is a plasterer.
• Midfielder Jamie Collins is a football coach for primary school children in West London.
• Midfielder Mo Harkin is a Gas Boiler Engineer serving the Twickenham/Richmond area of London.
• Midfielder Michael McEnery is a student.
• Midfielder Charlie Oatway is a Brighton & Hove Albion Community Officer.
• Midfielder Alfie Potter is a "professional footballer" on loan from Peterborough. Finally, someone who gets paid to do this "football" thing.
• Midfielder Tony Taggart is a dustbin man. Alright, back to the regular Joes.
• Forward Rocky Baptiste is studying to become a London Cab Driver. Imagine that, you have to study to become a cab-driver in England.
• Forward Richard Pacquette is a school caretaker/monitor and football coach.
• Forward Jamie Slabber (which is a fantastic name, by the way) is a former professional footballer who is currently unemployed. With a last name like Slabber, how could you ever be unemployed?
• Finally, forward Craig Watkins is a student. Thanks, Craig. Way to end things on a dull note.

Just imagine if Tom Brady lined up on February 3, 2008 for "The Big Game" and the guy across the line from him wasn't driving a Bentley or living off some gargantuan signing bonus. Instead, the defensive tackle spent most of his time working as an English teacher at the local middle school and played the sport in his spare time. Once you can picture that improbable scene, you'll have some idea of what the FA Cup can be at its best.

Finally, since it is the Song of the Day, I feel obliged to pass along this superb video of U2 playing "One" during the Slane Castle concert in 2001.

Love is a Temple, Love a Higher Law

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "One" from the U2 album "Achtung Baby" as the Thursday Song of the Day.

IN the last two decades, as working schedules became flexible, and even accounting firms, of all places, embraced the mantra of work-life balance (at least on paper), there was one unbending, tradition-bound profession: the law. Over the last few years and, most strikingly, the last few months, law firms have been forced to rethink longstanding ways of doing business, if they are to remain fully competitive.

As chronicled by my colleague Alex Williams in the Sunday Styles section earlier this month, lawyers are overworked, depressed and leaving. Less obvious, but potentially more dramatic, are the signs that their firms are finally becoming serious about slowing the stampede for the door. So far the change — which includes taking fresh looks at the billable hour, schedules and partnership tracks — is mostly at the smaller firms. But even some of the larger, more hidebound employers are taking notice. -

"Who's Cuddly Now? Law Firms" by Lisa Belkin

I Can't Be Holding On to What You Got, When All You Got is Hurt

Forget yesterday's post about Beijing hosting the first "Green Olympics". NY Times columnist Nicholas D. Kristof presents what he believes may be a more apt title for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad.
The Beijing Olympics this summer were supposed to be China’s coming-out party, celebrating the end of nearly two centuries of weakness, poverty and humiliation. Instead, China’s leaders are tarnishing their own Olympiad by abetting genocide in Darfur and in effect undermining the U.N. military deployment there. The result is a growing international campaign to brand these “The Genocide Olympics.”

I Wanted to Tell You But You Never Listened

The 2008 Beijing Olympic Organizing Committee is fond of promoting the fact that they are trying to put on the first-ever "Green Olympics", but I don't think they intended that moniker to describe the color of phlegm* that Olympians will be expelling from their lungs during events.

To protect the athletes, Mr. Wilber is encouraging them to train elsewhere and arrive in Beijing at the last possible moment. He is also testing possible Olympians to see if they qualify for an International Olympic Committee exemption to use an asthma inhaler. And, in what may be a controversial recommendation, Mr. Wilber is urging all the athletes to wear specially designed masks over their noses and mouths from the minute they step foot in Beijing until they begin competing. --"U.S. Olympians Devise Solution to Smog: Mask" by Juliet Macur

Chinese Air Quality: It's fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic!!!

*At least that's what Patty V. and Heidi Hipp told me.

Everybody Wants to Be a Friend

Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson for correctly naming "Firecracker" by Ryan Adams as the Tuesday Song of the Day. Once again, Running Down a Dream's resident alt-country expert does not disappoint a thankful audience.

“Obama is to me very analogous to Robert Kennedy,” Reich said. “The closer you got to him, the more you realized that his magic lay in his effect on others rather than in any specific policies. But he became a very important vehicle. He got young people very excited. He was transformative in the sense of just who he was. And a few things he said about social justice licensed people. Obama does all that, almost effortlessly.”


"The Choice: The Clinton-Obama battle reveals two very different ideas of the Presidency" by George Packer of The New Yorker.

So When Does the Plane Go Down?

5 Things You Probably Did Not Know About "The Big Game" taking place on February 3, 2008 (Note: Read this post with enough sarcasm to kill a horse, just not one named Barbaro).

1. Eli Manning, quarterback for the New York (Football) Giants, is related to another quarterback in the league, Peyton Manning, who happened to play in the "The Big Game" last year in Miami, Florida. Since Eli's aforementioned brother seems to be adverse to publicity and commercials, a large raise will go to the reporter who can scrounge up more information on this recluse.
   
2. The New England Patriots (coughTheGreatSatancough) are currently undefeated with an 18-0 record. What's that? You didn't know that well-hidden tidbit? Well, that's exactly why you're reading this post, my uninformed friend.
   
3. A man named Eric Mangini, who coaches a football team named after airplanes in New York, told on his former boss, Patriots coach Bill Belichick, after the initial game of the 2007 season. Some people got mad, some people paid large sums of money to a guy named Roger Goodell, and people keep talking about this thing called an "asterisk". There's really not enough reporting on this to forumlate an entire story, so let's just move on to the next point.
   
4. In the past 18 months, the quarterback for the Great Satan, Tom Brady, has fathered a child with a beautiful tv-star, Bridget Moynahan, broken up with Ms. Moynahan, began dating the world's most famous super-model, Gisele Bundchen, and compiled the greatest statistical year for a quarterback in the history of the NFL. At halftime of "The Big Game", Mr. Brady will receive a special present from the Make-a-Wish foundation because it seems that life has really dealt him a poor hand. No one deserves a string of bad bounces like Tom has had these past few years.
   
5. Did you know that Jerome Bettis is still from Detroit? Seriously, even though "The Big Game" was played there two years ago, you, the American viewing public, still need to know that the big, lovable, mass-transportation nicknamed lug was actually a native of the city where he won his first "Big Game". What? You didn't know that either? I'm beginning to think that you're a lost cause.

At least you're not dumb enough to believe that the Manning brothers actually have a father who played professional football, because that would just be ridiculous.

Such is the Promise, Such is the Curse

On Friday, I mentioned the enshrinement of NY Times columnist David Brooks in the Running Down a Dream author/writer/columnist Hall-of-Fame. At the point when I made that famous declaration, said Hall-of-Fame was an entirely contrived entity, and I guess it still is, but I wanted to run with the idea and commit it to the firmament of the internet. That last clause is probably an oxymoron, but I'm moving ahead regardless.

If I had to construct my version of Canton, Grauman's Chinese Theater, or Cooperstown, it would look something like this:

First-Ballot Members (since Cooperstown had 5 initial members [Mathewson, Ruth, Wagner, Johnson, and Cobb] I'm going with 5 of my own) in no particular order:

David Halberstam

As if it were not enough to have written the definitive book on the Vietnam War (1972's The Best and the Brightest), the Pulitzer Prize-winner also authored one of the best sports books in the last half-century with 1980's The Breaks of the Game.

Over the years, he developed a pattern of alternating a book with a weighty theme with one that might seem of slighter import but to which he nonetheless applied his considerable reportorial muscles. “He was a man who didn’t have a lazy bone in his body,” said the writer Gay Talese, a close family friend. Obituary in the April 24, 2007 edition of the NY Times.

David Brooks

I was introduced to the writing of Brooks through the Op-Ed page of the NY Times, but his best work, at least in my opinion, is found in his two books, Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There and On Paradise Drive: How We Live Now (And Always Have) in the Future Tense. When viewed as two parts of a larger whole, they represent one of the most accurate pictures of modern America that I have read.

Bill Simmons

Even though his rampant homerism for the Great Satan this year has been a bit too much to handle, the Sports Guy still holds down a spot in the Pantheon (I know, I'm mixing my metaphors), due to the fact that he has introduced me to The Ewing Theory, the Manning Face, the Levels of Losing, the Tyson Zone, and "Yup, these are my readers." His first book, Now I Can Die in Peace, chronicling the 2004 World Series run by the Red Sawx, may just be required bedtime reading for my (non-existent) children or grandchildren when the Rangers, Cowboys, and Liverpool still have not won a title.

Malcolm Gladwell

Out of the Top-5, Gladwell is easily the figure that I have read the least, but his ability to present technical, jargon-laden information in an engrossing and engaging manner is a skill that I greatly admire. Whether it was 2000's The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, 2005's Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, his pieces for the New Yorker, or his blog, almost all of Gladwell's writing makes me view the world in a new way that I had never before considered.

Jon Krakauer

Krakauer rose to prominence based on his first hand-account of the 1996 Everest Disaster in Into Thin Air, but 1990's Eiger Dreams: Ventures Among Men and Mountains, 1996's Into the Wild, and 2003's Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith are just as good, if not better than Into Thin Air. Krakauer's writing is reminiscent of the settings he describes: stark and often unforgiving. If the sign of a great writer is the ability to remove himself from the story and place the characters on center stage, Krakauer is surely near the pinnacle of the modern non-fiction genre.

Honorable Mention (Maybe next time, fellas)

• Ernest Hemingway
• John Grisham
• Stephen Ambrose
• John Steinbeck
• Bob Woodward
• Chuck Klosterman
• William Manchester
• Edmund Morris
• David McCullough
  
  
  
  

You Can't Take It With You

Perhaps it was not Shackelton's voyage to the Antarctic, and it certainly was not the FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD, but the first annual Ninja Camping Trip this weekend to the desolate wasteland of the Cedar Ridge Campground outside Belton was by all accounts a success despite the cold.

I returned home to my comfortable abode expecting a warm welcome back to civilization, but what I received rocked me to my very core.

The madness from last week has not abated, and young Eli (Now, I'm up to 45% of Archie and Olivia's inheritance) Manning has now led to the New York (Football) Giants to that "big game" that will take place in Glendale, Arizona on February 3, 2008.

(Proper name of this "big game" removed due to a run-in with a NFL official).

The NFL can monitor me all it wants, but you know what game I'm talking about (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

In said "big game", the New York (Football) Giants will face "The Great Satan". This game is almost like cheering a matchup between AIDS and the ebola virus. In other words, no matter who wins, we all lose.

Saturday Night in East Berlin

If the words "Abilene Christian University", "Gamma Sigma Phi", "Sing Song", "The Windmill", "Demetrius Collins", "Luke Reeves', "Clark Packer", or "Ryan Mack" mean anything to you, please watch the following video:

Where Amazing Happens.

Been Fooled Again, The Search Continues

Congratulations to Ms. Stacy Villescas (Running Down a Dream's resident Beatles expert) for correctly naming "Here Comes the Sun" by the Fab Four as the Thursday Song of the Day.

I realize that I'm dangerously close to replicating the "Chris Farley Show" segment with Paul McCartney in my frequent promotion of NY Times columnist David Brooks, but until further notice, he has taken a place in the Running Down a Dream author/writer/columnist Hall-of-Fame.
"In reality, we voters — all of us — make emotional, intuitive decisions about who we prefer, and then come up with post-hoc rationalizations to explain the choices that were already made beneath conscious awareness. 'People often act without knowing why they do what they do,' Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize winner, noted in an e-mail message to me this week. 'The fashion of political writing this year is to suggest that people choose their candidate by their stand on the issues, but this strikes me as highly implausible.'"

"How Voters Think" by David Brooks.

Little Darling, It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Clear

Congratulations to my Dad for correctly naming Jackson Browne's "The Barricades of Heaven" as the Tuesday Song of the Day, and to Mr. Jacob Straub, Chicago to you and me, for correctly naming "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

I've written before that I will do whatever I can to brainwash my (non-existent) children to follow my favorite sports franchises, or in the parlance of Jerry Seinfeld, "Cheer for the same laundry", but I don't think I've ever thought about trying to do some like this.

"Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him. Matthew Kowald was cited for disorderly conduct in connection with the incident with his son at their home in Pardeeville, Lt. Wayne Smith of the Columbia County Sheriff's Department said. "

One would think that life would always be happy in a place called "Pardeeville", but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Also, a Patriots fan in Woburn, Massachusetts attempted to do the same thing to his son, but thankfully disaster was narrowly averted because Bill Belichick instructed a Pats assistant to tape the entire thing. (Ba-dum cha!)

Thanks, folks, and don't forget to tip your lovely waitresses.

Virgil Caine is the Name, and I Served on the Danville Train

For my 24th birthday, I wished for nothing more than a move to Virginia and a pair of "truck nuts", but apparently State Delegate Lionel Spruill (not pictured below) was elected to crush my dreams.
"It's one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia. State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.

Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250. He said the idea came from a constituent whose young daughter spotted an example of the trail hitch adornment and asked her father to explain it."

Read more (if you wish to) here.

Pages We Were Years From Learning

Brilliant words today from the Editor-in-Chief of the Blahg:

"If you aren't frequenters of Running Down a Dream, you should be. If you are, you know of the polarizing subject that is Liverpool FC. Endorsing an obscure sports franchise has so brilliantly divided their audience, why not irritate our audience with a similar move?"

There are moments when I fear that my constant ranting and raving over the travails of the Reds falls on deaf ears, but if they are being called "obscure", "polarizing", and "divisive", well, my friends, that's just more motivation to educate the great, unwashed masses.

Last Saturday, the Reds traveled to the northeast coast of Mother England to take on Middlesbrough at the Riverside Stadium. After Boro took the lead from a George Boateng goal in the 26th minute, the Reds pulled out a 1-1 draw after a wonder goal from Spanish striker Fernando Torres in the 71st minute.

Even if you don't watch most of the videos I post, you need to skip forward to the 4:30 mark for El Nino's strike. You'll thank me later.

Today, Liverpool returned to action in the F.A. Cup with a 3rd Round Replay versus the Hatters of Luton Town. For the second straight match none of the Luton Town players were wearing hats during the match, so the origin of the nickname "Haters" takes its place alongside the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa's body in the great mysteries of our time, but I digress.

The Reds cruised to a 5-nil victory behind a hat-trick from Steven Gerrard, and goals from Ryan Babel and Sami Hyppia. Central defender Jamie Carragher temporarily took the skipper's armband from Gerrard in honor of Carragher's 500th appearance for his hometown club.

I would give you a video of all 5 goals, but you really only need to see the final goal from Stevie G., a curveball that would make Johan Santana envious.

5-0 (Gerrard) Liverpool vs Luton Town
Uploaded by Iker-91

This has been your weekly obscure, divisive, and polarizing post. You may now return to your regularly scheduled reading here at Running Down a Dream. Please enjoy your stay.

I Was Just Trying to Hear My Song

"Both Clinton and Obama have eagerly donned the mantle of identity politics. A Clinton victory wouldn’t just be a victory for one woman, it would be a victory for little girls everywhere. An Obama victory would be about completing the dream, keeping the dream alive, and so on.

Fair enough. The problem is that both the feminist movement Clinton rides and the civil rights rhetoric Obama uses were constructed at a time when the enemy was the reactionary white male establishment. Today, they are not facing the white male establishment. They are facing each other."

Read more of today's column, "The Identity Trap", by David Brooks here.

You Take What You Need and You Leave the Rest

Tom Hanks may have once said that "there's no crying in baseball"*, but apparently it's okay to shed a few tears in two of the most rough and tumble American adventures: football and politics.

In the span of less than a week, the American public has seen two of the more polarizing figures in their respective professions, Terrell Eldorado Owens (yes, Eldorado is his real middle name) and Hillary Rodham Clinton, get a bit misty-eyed over the stresses of a playoff loss and a tough primary battle respectively.

Let's go to the videotape.

First, HRC weeps in the Granite State:

Thank you, Mrs. Clinton.

Now, on to Mr. "Get Your Popcorn Ready" himself during yesterday's post-game press conference.

While pundit after pundit has speculated on whether the New Hampshire electorate was swayed by HRC's moment of vulnerability, the only people swayed by the tears of T.O. were probably the assembled media members, who likely began asking each other if this was the same guy that had thrown not one, but two, former quarterbacks under the bus after things soured in San Francisco and the City of Brotherly Love.

In the end, more people will probably remember the tear-duct tango of the former First Lady rather than #81, but T.O.'s "Don't Cry for Me, Tony Romo" moment is much more fun to quote.

I can just see it now...

[Scene: Corner Office, Meeting between Supervisor and lower-level associate]

Boss:

Jim, I think we're going to have to let Larry go over this botched deal with Kellogg's.

Jim:

You can point the finger at him. You can talk about the vacation to Banff, but I think that's really unfair. That's really unfair (start sniffles).

Jim:

That's my regional manager (sniffles). That's my sales hero (more sniffles). I think that's really unfair. We lost as a sales department. A sales department, man.

[Fade to black]


*Not that I've seen A League of Their Own or anything. Um, let's just say I heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend.

I'll Take a Quiet Life, A Handshake of Carbon Monoxide

In the words of Jacobim Mugatu of Zoolander fame,"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills", because I swear that earlier this evening I had a bad dream where a #5 seeded New York Giants squad quarterbacked by Eli (Black Sheep of the Family) Manning and coached by Tom Coughlin came into Texas Stadium and defeated a #1 seeded America's Team by the score of 21-17.

Wait.

What's that?

So, what you're telling me is that wasn't a dream?

That actually happened?

Just a second, I think I'm going to be sick.

(5 minutes later)

Okay, I've been out for a little walk around the block, took a few deep breaths, stepped down from that high bridge over the Brazos, and avoided stepping into oncoming traffic on I-35. Now let's approach this like a rational adult.

For the second time in less than twelve months, a Dallas team has gone into the playoffs carrying the #1 seed in its conference, and each team, the Mavericks last spring and now the Cowboys, have spectacularly flamed out of the playoffs at the first possible opportunity. I've never been a particularly huge Mavs fan, but I've been cheering for the Cowboys since the early 90's, and that's what makes today's loss so much more disappointing.

In the Mavs' loss last spring to the Golden State Warriors, Dirk & Co. allowed the games to slip away one by one and the "this can't be happening" feeling settled over the Mavericks' fanbase like a slowly descending fog. Today, the "this can't be happening" feeling descended on Cowboys fans like an anvil dropping on Wile E. Coyote.

Sure, we told ourselves that their poor form in December was an aberration and that they would be able to turn it on when it counted in January, but for the second straight season, and an NFL-record tying 6th straight time in the playoffs, we are wondering where it all went wrong.

If you need me, I'll be outside burning my apparently ineffective Eli Manning voodoo doll. In a further sign of the impending apocalypse, Eli was a clutch performer leading the G-Men while his much ballyhooed, corporate pitchman brother, Peyton, lost at home to a Chargers team that almost everyone expected them to beat handily. Up is down, black is white, and dogs and cats are living together in harmony.

It's a brave new world, my friends. Get ready for the end.

Go Make Your Next Choice Be Your Best Choice

Despite the demands of Joey "I'm Belichick's Lackey" Halbert, I will refrain from chronicling the demise of the Jacksonville Jaguars before the teams have even stepped onto the turf tonight at Foxborough. Joey, just be sure not to injure yourself leaping from the Pats' bandwagon when it comes to a screeching halt.

Just because I love arbitrary lists as much as anyone, here's a little something that will be sure to generate some good opinions:

Sports Illustrated's Top 20 Sporting Venues of the 20th Century

(I know it's 2008, and this list was published about 8 years ago. Cut me some slack)

20. The Rose Bowl

What SI says: The Rose Bowl is more a postcard than a stadium, designed to seduce pasty Midwesterners with the California fantasy. How many Big Ten fans tuned in on those wintry New Year's Days to gawk at the blooming bougainvillea and started packing their station wagons at halftime?

My take: In a world where most stadiums rise up out of a sea of asphalt parking lots, the Rose Bowl is tucked back into a Pasadena neighborhood in the center of the Arroyo Seco. Nothing says "New Year's Day" like an overhead shot of the Rose Bowl. It probably deserves to be a bit higher on the list.

19. The Old Course at St. Andrews

What SI says: No bulldozers built the Old Course, where sheep tamped the crabby sod into shape. Legend says bored 15th-century shepherds knocked wooden balls around the place, and the cussing and drinking haven't stopped since. Mary Queen of Scots played here; Old Tom Morris, the first golf pro, gave lessons here 130 years ago.

My take: It might seem a bit pretentious to give yourself the title "The Home of Golf", but if you've been playing the game since the 1400's, well, as the saying goes,"It ain't braggin' if you can back it up."

18. Notre Dame Stadium

What SI says: Touchdown Jesus keeps an eye on one end zone, and Knute Rockne watches over the rest of the field. Rockne built his dream stadium and coached here in 1930, its first season, his last.

My take: There's Mom, baseball, and apple pie, but if you're looking for something just screams America, it's a single-tiered college football stadium with un-marked endzones. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

17. Daytona International Speedway

What SI says: In 1959, when Lee Petty won a photo finish in the inaugural Daytona 500, drivers were not yet cognizant of the aerodynamic phenomenon that made that race -- and all races on this 2.5-mile oval -- spectacular. It was and is the draft, which has led to many mad dashes for the checkered flag.

My take: This is the first one on the list that I just cannot agree with. Perhaps it's my visceral dislike for NASCAR, but more likely it's the feeling that because racetracks only appear on the radar screen once or twice a year, it's hard to develop some type of affinity for a 2.5 mile strip of asphalt.

16. Lamade Stadium

What SI says: Lamade Stadium in Williamsport, Pa., site of the Little League World Series, has seating for about 45,000, but exact attendance figures are hard to come by since there's no admission charge. For Little Leaguers, it is their ultimate goal, and for all of us former Little Leaguers, it's a monument to a simpler, nobler idea of sport -- and one of the few places on earth where you can get a dog and a soda for a buck.

My take: I'm honestly shocked that Field #2 at the Whitehouse Baseball Complex wasn't in this spot. Despite my disappointment, it's hard to argue with the Little League mecca's place on the list. Maybe now they can get rid of the creepy gopher mascot that follows the kids around the field.

15.Oriole Park at Camden Yards

What SI says: The best compliment you could give Camden Yards is that it looks old beyond its years. You can savor the game's past as well as chardonnay and shrimp from an upholstered chair in a luxury box. The builders of Camden Yards did retro right -- its success kicked off the biggest building boom in baseball history and brought about the biggest change in the majors since the DH: It made stadium revenue more important to teams than a catcher who can hit.

My take: I've never been to Camden Yards for a sampling of Boog Powell's famous barbecue, but the home of the O's stands as the harbinger of baseball's stadium renaissance. Plus, you have to love that the B&O Warehouse (the longest building on the East coast) stands behind the right-field fence. Ummm, not that I love b.o. or anything. Let's just move on.

14. Boston Marathon Course
What SI says: For 103 years the hale and hardy and inexplicably optimistic have gathered in little Hopkinton, Mass., at noon on Patriots' Day to run the 26.2 miles to downtown Boston. Heartbreak Hill is actually the last of four hills three quarters of the way through the journey. That climb completed, runners still have six miles to travel before they reach the office towers of the city, where the hale and the hardy will become the lame and the halt -- and victors, all of them.

My take: I still remember Mike Cope telling the story about the year he ran the Boston Marathon, and recalling that his fastest mile-split just happened to coincide with the section of the course where thousands of Wellesley co-eds had lined up to cheer on the competitors. As always, never underestimate what men will do to impress women.

13. The Pit What SI says: A mile high but 37 feet underground, the Pit in Albuquerque has been the site of many mind-blowing college basketball games, including North Carolina State's upset of Houston in '83 and just about any New Mexico home game. The noise created by fans, which has been measured at 125 decibels -- the pain threshold for the human ear is 130 -- is a palpable force.

My take: Even though the New Mexico Lobos are not a perennial contender for the national championship, and the most famous moment on the court was the putback by N.C. State's Lorenzo Charles in 1983, it's hard to discredit any site where Jimmy V. ran around like a madman on the hardwood just looking for someone to hug after the Wolfpack's upset of Houston.

12. Wembley Stadium
What SI says: The most famous soccer stadium in the world was built in 1923 and that year hosted the English FA Cup Final, the so-called White Horse Final, at which 200,000 peaceable spectators were policed by a lone constable on a white stallion. Since then countless pilgrims have entered grounds as charmless as Cleveland's old Municipal Stadium. No matter: Wembley means big matches, and its mystique lies in a team's just making it here.

My take: Even though the "new" Wembley now serves as the annual site of the FA Cup and Carling Cup finals, as well as the home of the English national team, it's hard to argue with the "old" Wembley's place on the list after it hosted memorable events such as the 1966 World Cup final (a 4-2 victory for the Brits for their lone World Cup title) and 1985's Live Aid concert. When Americans hear the words "twin spires" they usually think of Churchill Downs. When almost everyone else in the world hears "twin spires", they probably think of Wembley.

11. Pebble Beach Golf LinksWhat SI says: Robert Louis Stevenson, a Scot but not a golfer, called the curve of Carmel Bay upon which the Pebble Beach golf course was built in 1919, "the most felicitous meeting of land and sea in creation." Other courses are as architecturally brilliant, but none overwhelms the senses like Pebble Beach -- raw nature is on display here as at no other golf course on earth.

My take: I'm not much of a golfer (as Jake, Shane, and Brandon can testify to based on last weekend's performance), but if there's one course I could play before I die, it would be this blessed piece of real estate near Monterey. Also, Clint Eastwood lives near the course. If that's not a vote of confidence, it don't know what is.

10. Saratoga Race Course What SI says: Directions to Saratoga Race Course, by Red Smith: "From New York City you drive north for about 175 miles, turn left on Union Avenue and go back 100 years." With its striped awnings, old wooden clubhouse and grandstand, and paddock shaded by elms, Saratoga transports you back to the days when people came to the races in surreys with the fringe on top.

My take: In a little bit of a spoiler, I'm going to tell you that Churchill Downs did not make the cut, thus making Saratoga the only horse racing venue on the list. I'm by no means an expert on the "Sport of Kings", but any list that places Saratoga above Churchill Downs seems to be fundamentally flawed.

9. Fenway Park
What SI says: The spiritual blueprint for the dozens of new-old ballparks that have been built in the past decade, our favorite old-old ballpark, built in 1912, doggedly survives as developers plot its demise in the next decade. Babe Ruth pitched here. Ted Williams hit and spit here. Yaz won a Triple Crown here. Batters aim for the 37-foot-tall Green Monster in left because in this park, hitting the wall is always a good thing.

My take: Despite the gimmicky moves in recent years like the decision to place seats atop the Monster, Fenway remains the oldest continually occupied stadium in baseball. Also, interestingly enough, it was opened on the same day as the original Tiger Stadium.

8. Lambeau Field
What SI says: In Green Bay, where the local time is always 1963, the citizens worship their Packers with religious fervor, and Lambeau Field is their ageless cathedral. The benches are aluminum, the grass (when not iced over) is resplendent, and the fans are rabid but realistic without being rude. No wonder Packers players leap into the stands after scoring touchdowns. On a truly cold day you can feel the spirit of Vince Lombardi -- even if you can't feel your toes.

My take: As I sit here watching the Packers play the Seahawks on the FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD, it's hard to imagine a football stadium that more closely reflects the blue collar appeal of its team and fanbase than Lambeau. Also, the fact that the luxury boxes actually place the high-rollers further away from the action than the working stiffs is something you will probably never see again in the NFL.

7. Roland Garros

What SI says: If you like tennis, the French Open is the best sports event in the world to attend. If you don't like tennis, it's still the best sports event in the world to attend because it's in Paris. In the spring Roland Garros is more at ease with itself than Wimbledon, which is so self-conscious. Wimbledon is in a distant suburb of London; Roland Garros is at the edge of the Bois de Boulogne. And Roland Garros may be the only friendly place in Paris.

My take: Maybe my odd childhood support of Pete Sampras is to blame for my dislike of Roland Garros, but I can also respect any event where the players leave the venue wearing part of the surroundings, in this case, the red clay of Paris. Going back to my Sampras-fandom, I'm pretty sure I was just fascinated by the fact that he actually married Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison. Plus, you have to love his status as a poster boy for "voice immodulation disorder".

6. Wrigley Field
What SI says: It's impossible to feel blue at Wrigley Field, even though your beloved Cubs are losing again. The place has grown a bit larger and, amazingly enough, even more graceful since it was built in seven weeks in 1914 for $250,000. It's a national treasure, a true American original. It's ivy and brick and bleachers and a manual scoreboard and seats so close to the field you can almost hear the infield chatter of Hornsby, Hartnett and Banks.

My take: Sure, you can point out that this is where Babe Ruth "called his shot" against Cubs pitcher Charlie Root in Game 3 of the 1932 World Series. I prefer to remember it as the place that appeared in the opening to the immortal television series Perfect Strangers. Come on, you know you loved "Balki" as much as I did.

5. Bislett Stadium
What SI says: An oval of crumbling mortar and rotted wood in a residential neighborhood not far from the center of Oslo, Bislett Stadium transforms itself each summer into a cauldron of desperate noise and rhythmic clapping that carries runners on invisible wings. Sixty-one world records have been set on its forgiving, brick-colored track; Lynn Jennings, the 10,000-meters bronze medalist in the 1992 Olympics, once called it a distance runner's Fenway Park. Bislett is scheduled to be torn down and replaced by a new stadium. Replaced but not improved upon.

My take: Nicodemus Naimadu, remember that time I saved your life after that bee sting in the summer of 2005? Well, today I'm calling in that favor because I have nothing insightful to say about Bislett Stadium and I need some relevant commentary on the shrine to long-distance running.

4. Cameron Indoor Stadium
What SI says: The undergraduates who pack Duke's antiquated Cameron Indoor Stadium -- those wiseacres with the 1,400 SAT scores -- are as entertaining as the games. (Pity the visiting player who has been in the news for some malfeasance.) No wonder the Blue Devils are 133-17 at home over the last 10 years. It's easy to win when you're playing six-on-five.

My take: The home of Luke Reeves's beloved "Bourgeoisie Blue" is the hallmark arena in college basketball. It's not often that Dick Vitale understates things, but even the hoarse screaming of Dickie V. doesn't do justice to the intensity of a UNC-Duke clash at Cameron Indoor Stadium.

3. Michie Stadium
What SI says: Game day at West Point begins three hours before kickoff with the cadet parade on The Plain. It's a scene straight from The Long Gray Line, surpassed only by the view of the Hudson River from the west stands at Michie Stadium. The Corps of Cadets, seated together and dressed in gray and black, evokes memories of when Army was one of the most formidable of college football powers, and cannon blasts shake the 76-year-old edifice to its foundation every time the Black Knights score. It doesn't matter in the least that national championships are no longer decided here.

My take: It's difficult to believe that Michie is the highest-rated college football stadium on the list, leaving out hallowed venues like LSU's Tiger Stadium, Michigan's Big House, and Tennessee's Neyland Stadium, but judging from the picture above, there appear to be few places more suited to a fall football afternoon than the banks of the Hudson.

2. Augusta National
What SI says: Is it the $1.50 ham sandwiches or the peach cobbler? The Crow's Nest or the Champions Room? The pushover par-5s or the murderous par-3s? The soccer-field fairways or the M.C. Escher greens? Is it because there are no pro-ams, no billboards, no blimps? Is it because being inside the ropes actually means something? Is it because every complete player has painted on this same rolling canvas, or because no player is complete until he has?

My take: I would love compose a manifesto to the greatness that is April at Augusta National, but the soothing CBS piano music and the hypnotic voice of Jim Nantz already has me uttering the mantra: "A tradition unlike any other, a tradition unlike any other, a tradition unlike..."

1. Yankee Stadium

What SI says: No sports arena in history, with the possible exception of the Roman Colosseum, has played host to a wider variety of memorable events. Two popes prayed here, Johnny Unitas threw here, Jim Brown ran here, Joe Louis fought here, and Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio played here. Ground can't get more hallowed than that.

My take: Oh, so this is how it's going to be SI? I spend all this time praising and parsing your list, and this is what you do to me? What? How did you think I was going to react to such a slap in the face? Okay, okay, I don't like it all, but it's hard to argue with the paragraph above. Grrrr.

In High Seas or In Low Seas, I'm Gonna Be Your Friend

“The whole world around us lay spread out like a giant relief map,” he told one interviewer. “I am a lucky man. I have had a dream and it has come true, and that is not a thing that happens often to men.”

"Sir Edmund Hillary, First on Everest, Dies at 88"--Robert D. McFadden in today's NY Times.

'Cause My Peers, They Criticize Me

I saw it in passing this morning on "SportsCenter", but the Jacksonville Jaguars are still using their official website for a little psychological warfare ahead of Saturday night's clash with the Great Satan known as the New England Patriots.

Specifically, the Power Rankings section of the Jags' site features an asterisk next to the Pats' perfect, yet rarely mentioned, 16-0 record with the notation at the bottom reading very simply:

"*Cheated in one game."

I have no doubt that the webmaster for the Jags will receive a series of threatening phone calls from Joey Halbert along with people in the 508, 617, 781, and 978 area codes asking him if he thinks he is "wicked smaht" for that not so subtle jab at Brady, Belichick, and the rest of the Great Satan.

(Pictured above: A bizarre ritual that took place in Jacksonville on Tuesday where Jags fans offered the requisite 12-year old, blond male to appease the Great Satan. There was no word from Jaguars team officials on whether Jonathan Lipnicki of Jerry Maguire fame was available for sacrifice.)