You Forget So Easy, We Ride Tonight, Ghost Horses

Congratulations to Mr. Ryan Searcey for correctly naming "Caught by the River" by Doves as the Thursday Song of the Day. Not even Mr. Searcey's reverse psychology could keep the Rangers from losing their 7th straight game yesterday, but today, today, my friends, was a different story.

The Rangers may be 8-16 with 138 games to play in the campaign, but I think you will all agree with me when I say that an eventual 146-16 record is nothing to scoff at in the long run.

Good citizens of the Metroplex, once the venerable Sheriff Roger Goodell provides the final thumbs-up to the reinstatement of "The Rain Man", I expect all of you to stay away from all gentleman's establishments, firearms dealers, and other places of potential disrepute.

Also, if any of you are worried about the whirlwind of chaos that seems to follow the Pacman wherever he roams, just find someone to relax with in those times of trouble. Someone who really knows how to let the stress of life just melt away.

For instance, an off-season Josh Howard.

Just make sure he doesn't eat all of your Doritos and Pizza Rolls.

This Is One Scene That's Going to Be Played My Way

Congratulations once again to Mr. Jeremy Masten for correctly naming "Dream On" by Aerosmith as the Sunday Song of the Day. Jeremy, I have to agree with you that "Dream On" represents Aerosmith's finest work and found its best use (in my opinion) to date in this ESPN SportsCentury "Greatest Moments" montage. "Dream On" begins around 1:37.

You see videos like that all the time on YouTube now, but I can still remember when this video premiered on ESPN in late 1999. In my 15-year old brain it was the greatest thing of all-time, narrowly besting the worthy contender of the nearly-fulfilled promise of a driver's license and a 1991 Toyota Camry with 100,000K+ miles.

I came across a the following story in the NY Times today, and the call to action is impossible to ignore, my friends.

Recently in Dallas, more than an hour before game time, Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, was in the locker room grinding on the Stairmaster, surrounded by several reporters — their microphones deployed, heads tilted away to avoid flying droplets of sweat.

A reporter for The Dallas Morning News, who writes a blog, asked Mr. Cuban about a bruised Dirk Nowitzki, referring to the star power forward as a “warrior” for his willingness to play while injured. “We’re not trading him to the Warriors,” said Mr. Cuban.

“Bloggers might make that point.” The comment was a bit of word play, but it illustrates how Mr. Cuban, a prolific blogger himself, feels about some of the bloggers who cover his team.

Last month Mr. Cuban sought to ban bloggers from the Mavericks’ locker room, but the National Basketball Association intervened, ruling that bloggers from credentialed news organizations must be admitted. Mr. Cuban then decided to let in any blogger — “someone on Blogspot who has been posting for a couple weeks, kids blogging for their middle school Web site or those that work for big companies.”

"Tension Over Sports Blogging" by Tim Arango of the New York Times.

You realize what this means, don't you?

I'm calling on The Blahg, Slowly Going Bald, The Jig and Twig, Osler's Razor, Living and Loving in Natal, Brazil, Prosso Speaks, Magnificent Vista, Alico Dreams, Chapter 2, Lovin' Life, Urban Cowboy, Yee of Little Faith, and everyone else out there in Blogfrica: Let's call Mark Cuban's bluff. I cannot wait to waltz into the Mavericks' locker-room while simultaneously introducing myself to Dirk Nowitzki as the Editor-in-Chief of Running Down a Dream.

I'll Take a Quiet Life, A Handshake of Carbon Monoxide

In the words of Jacobim Mugatu of Zoolander fame,"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills", because I swear that earlier this evening I had a bad dream where a #5 seeded New York Giants squad quarterbacked by Eli (Black Sheep of the Family) Manning and coached by Tom Coughlin came into Texas Stadium and defeated a #1 seeded America's Team by the score of 21-17.

Wait.

What's that?

So, what you're telling me is that wasn't a dream?

That actually happened?

Just a second, I think I'm going to be sick.

(5 minutes later)

Okay, I've been out for a little walk around the block, took a few deep breaths, stepped down from that high bridge over the Brazos, and avoided stepping into oncoming traffic on I-35. Now let's approach this like a rational adult.

For the second time in less than twelve months, a Dallas team has gone into the playoffs carrying the #1 seed in its conference, and each team, the Mavericks last spring and now the Cowboys, have spectacularly flamed out of the playoffs at the first possible opportunity. I've never been a particularly huge Mavs fan, but I've been cheering for the Cowboys since the early 90's, and that's what makes today's loss so much more disappointing.

In the Mavs' loss last spring to the Golden State Warriors, Dirk & Co. allowed the games to slip away one by one and the "this can't be happening" feeling settled over the Mavericks' fanbase like a slowly descending fog. Today, the "this can't be happening" feeling descended on Cowboys fans like an anvil dropping on Wile E. Coyote.

Sure, we told ourselves that their poor form in December was an aberration and that they would be able to turn it on when it counted in January, but for the second straight season, and an NFL-record tying 6th straight time in the playoffs, we are wondering where it all went wrong.

If you need me, I'll be outside burning my apparently ineffective Eli Manning voodoo doll. In a further sign of the impending apocalypse, Eli was a clutch performer leading the G-Men while his much ballyhooed, corporate pitchman brother, Peyton, lost at home to a Chargers team that almost everyone expected them to beat handily. Up is down, black is white, and dogs and cats are living together in harmony.

It's a brave new world, my friends. Get ready for the end.

About Nothing and Everything All at Once

Last night represented my initial voyage back to an NBA arena since the glory-filled day of March 3, 1996.

On that beautiful Texas spring day I witnessed what I thought was the future of the Dallas Mavericks, as represented by Jamal Mashburn, Jason Kidd and Jimmy Jackson, take on the Round Mound of Rebound himself, Charles Barkley, and the Phoenix Suns.

The game was featured as the NBC Game of the Week, but apparently that was the one week that Marv Albert chose not to appear in person and we received the backup announcing squad of Steve "Snapper" Jones and Matt Goukas. Not that I'm still bitter about it or anything, but it would have done my 12-year old ears some good to hear just one "Jamal Mashburn from the corner........YESSS!!" Would that have taken so much, NBC? It's a pressing point, but, again, I digress.

In the end, the game consisted of a win by the Suns and a tattoo-festooned Cherokee Parks running wind-sprints afterward on the Reunion Arena hardwood due to the fact that he did not see any playing time. All in all, those two points taking their place as my lasting memories might have had something to do with my almost twelve year absence from an NBA arena, but that all came to an end last night.

At approximately 4:45 yesterday I had the following conversation with the aforementioned Mason Orr.

Mason: Hey man, I was just wondering if you were in the Dallas area.

Me: Nope, I'm in Waco.

Mason: That's too bad. I've been looking someone to take this third Mavs tickets for the game with the Warriors tonight at 7:30.

Me: Is that a challenge?

Mason: What are you talking about?

Me: I've been looking for an opportunity to top the Cannonball Run I made to the Dallas area last year based on Lance Agan's impromptu pre-Super Bowl call, and you, Sir, have just laid down the gauntlet.

Mason: (Disturbed silence)

Me: I'm leaving here in 5 minutes.

For any law-enforcement authorities that might happen upon this post, no traffic regulations were broken during yesterday's journey. All signage was obeyed to the very letter. With that out of the way, on to the rest of the story...

All in all, the game was a lot of fun and represented the Mavs' largest margin of victory for the season thus far. Also, you cannot put a price on the humor that is generated through people dancing like imbeciles simply to appear on the JumboTron. People that dance like idiots for momentary glory are almost certainly the same people who buy advance tickets to Alien v. Predator: Requiem and drink Mountain Dew Code Red. In other words, the entire fanbase of the New York Yankees. I kid, I kid. Seriously though, people who dance to get on the JumboTron needed to be placed in societal re-education camps in the mold of Chairman Mao's Cultural Revolution.

Disclaimer: Any bitterness underlying this post can be directly attributed to the palpable anxiety generated by the horrid performance turned in by the Dallas Cowboys during the month of December.

I'm Trapped in This Body and Can't Get Out

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Where Everybody Knows Your Name",a.k.a. the theme song from Cheers, as the Tuesday Song of the Day.


I just arrived back in Waco late tonight from a quick, quick trip to the Big D for a Mavs game with my good friend Mason Orr and his brother, the illustrious Benton Orr.


Probably the most disturbing part of the entire experience, besides seeing Don Nelson in high definition, was discussing the Fab Five with Benton, who was born in 1995, and realizing that he was born after the corpse now known as Juwan Howard graduated from college.


My goodness.


I'm turning 24 in two weeks and I already feel old.