You're All Tied Up As You Should Be

Congratulations to Ms. Stacy Villescas for correctly naming "Lovely Rita" by The Beatles as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

I'm guessing the song wasn't written about Rita Wilson, but that's mainly because I don't see Tom Hanks' name alongside McCartney and Lennon in my liner notes to "Sgt. Pepper's."

With yesterday's news that Adam "Pacman" Jones will be heading to the Great White North to play in the CFL for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, I'm slightly disappointed that the lady friend and I will be residing in Houston after the marriage.

"Why is that?" you might ask.

Well, according to well-placed sources (coughColeGriffithcough), Pacman's old house outside of Nashville is still for sale, and I've always wanted the opportunity to purchase a piece of real estate that was once in the running for the title of "Modern Day Location of Sodom and Gomorrah".
Here's the alternative, though. While Pacman is playing in the land of Canadian Bacon, Labatt Blue, and the word "EH", he's surely going to want to maintain a presence in the mind of NFL GMs.

What better way to do that then his own reality show? You're telling me that you wouldn't want to watch a special season of "This Old House" hosted by Bob Vila, Norm Abram, and special guest host Pacman Jones?
Pacman could stoke a rivalry with Ty Pennington (MOVE...THAT...IMPALA!!!), he could come out with a line of power tools at Sears (WATCH OUT, VILA), and he could increase his street cred with the obviously edgy audience of PBS viewers.

It's fail-proof, my friends.

Update (Thurs. morning): Apparently, the Pacman to Winnipeg transaction will not take place after all. I always knew that Canadians would never accept an American arcade hero.

You Forget So Easy, We Ride Tonight, Ghost Horses

Congratulations to Mr. Ryan Searcey for correctly naming "Caught by the River" by Doves as the Thursday Song of the Day. Not even Mr. Searcey's reverse psychology could keep the Rangers from losing their 7th straight game yesterday, but today, today, my friends, was a different story.

The Rangers may be 8-16 with 138 games to play in the campaign, but I think you will all agree with me when I say that an eventual 146-16 record is nothing to scoff at in the long run.

Good citizens of the Metroplex, once the venerable Sheriff Roger Goodell provides the final thumbs-up to the reinstatement of "The Rain Man", I expect all of you to stay away from all gentleman's establishments, firearms dealers, and other places of potential disrepute.

Also, if any of you are worried about the whirlwind of chaos that seems to follow the Pacman wherever he roams, just find someone to relax with in those times of trouble. Someone who really knows how to let the stress of life just melt away.

For instance, an off-season Josh Howard.

Just make sure he doesn't eat all of your Doritos and Pizza Rolls.

And It Really Didn't Have to Stop, It Just Kept On Going

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "High Speed" by Coldplay as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

I've purposefully kept the posts regarding America's Team to a minimum during the offseason, and this will probably be the only Cowboys-related post until the draft later this month, but a topic has arisen in the Valley Ranch universe that is impossible to ignore.

NFL renegade Pacman Jones, who is currently serving a suspension at the mandate of Commissioner/Sheriff/Camp Counselor Roger Goodell, is currently making major overtures to ensure that he is involved in the league next year playing for the team with one star on their helmets. The "Make It Rain" Maestro went as far as to appear yesterday on Michael Irvin's (a Hall-of-Famer who had his own ups and downs on and off the field) radio show to discuss his desire to move to the 'Boys next season.
Here's the problem: throughout the interview, Pacman acknowledged that he had made some bad decisions in the past (visiting gentleman's establishments, distributing large sums of cash at said gentlemen's establishments, and generally leaving a greater path of destruction in his wake than the tornado that destroyed Greensburg, KS*), but he also pinned some of the blame for those incidents on the police and members of the media.
I'll be one of the first people to tell you that the media in America, sports or otherwise, does not exactly do its part in portraying events accurately, and the police are not always the "good guys", but Pacman, my formerly dread-locked friend, you cannot continue to run from the likely fact that besides Michael Vick, you are the most-loathed (current/former) player in the league. Well, except for Brandon Jacobs among Cowboys fans, but that's another story for another time.

As I told the gentlemen at The Jig and Twig, I would rather that the Cowboys utilized one of their first-round draft picks (#22 or #28) on a corner (Antoine Cason, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Leodis McKelvin, etc.) rather than taking on the potential locker room cancer that is the Pacman Jones experience*. I understand that given the more stringent NFL disciplinary guidelines, teams may be willing to take chances on questionable character guys by short-term, performance-clause heavy deals, but it seems that the Cowboys are ready to put together another great season in '08-09, and I don't want the locker-room to turn into another reformation project for Jerry & Co.

*Too soon for that one? Probably so.
**Never to be confused with the Alan Parsons Project or the Jimi Hendrix Experience.