About Nothing and Everything All at Once

Last night represented my initial voyage back to an NBA arena since the glory-filled day of March 3, 1996.

On that beautiful Texas spring day I witnessed what I thought was the future of the Dallas Mavericks, as represented by Jamal Mashburn, Jason Kidd and Jimmy Jackson, take on the Round Mound of Rebound himself, Charles Barkley, and the Phoenix Suns.

The game was featured as the NBC Game of the Week, but apparently that was the one week that Marv Albert chose not to appear in person and we received the backup announcing squad of Steve "Snapper" Jones and Matt Goukas. Not that I'm still bitter about it or anything, but it would have done my 12-year old ears some good to hear just one "Jamal Mashburn from the corner........YESSS!!" Would that have taken so much, NBC? It's a pressing point, but, again, I digress.

In the end, the game consisted of a win by the Suns and a tattoo-festooned Cherokee Parks running wind-sprints afterward on the Reunion Arena hardwood due to the fact that he did not see any playing time. All in all, those two points taking their place as my lasting memories might have had something to do with my almost twelve year absence from an NBA arena, but that all came to an end last night.

At approximately 4:45 yesterday I had the following conversation with the aforementioned Mason Orr.

Mason: Hey man, I was just wondering if you were in the Dallas area.

Me: Nope, I'm in Waco.

Mason: That's too bad. I've been looking someone to take this third Mavs tickets for the game with the Warriors tonight at 7:30.

Me: Is that a challenge?

Mason: What are you talking about?

Me: I've been looking for an opportunity to top the Cannonball Run I made to the Dallas area last year based on Lance Agan's impromptu pre-Super Bowl call, and you, Sir, have just laid down the gauntlet.

Mason: (Disturbed silence)

Me: I'm leaving here in 5 minutes.

For any law-enforcement authorities that might happen upon this post, no traffic regulations were broken during yesterday's journey. All signage was obeyed to the very letter. With that out of the way, on to the rest of the story...

All in all, the game was a lot of fun and represented the Mavs' largest margin of victory for the season thus far. Also, you cannot put a price on the humor that is generated through people dancing like imbeciles simply to appear on the JumboTron. People that dance like idiots for momentary glory are almost certainly the same people who buy advance tickets to Alien v. Predator: Requiem and drink Mountain Dew Code Red. In other words, the entire fanbase of the New York Yankees. I kid, I kid. Seriously though, people who dance to get on the JumboTron needed to be placed in societal re-education camps in the mold of Chairman Mao's Cultural Revolution.

Disclaimer: Any bitterness underlying this post can be directly attributed to the palpable anxiety generated by the horrid performance turned in by the Dallas Cowboys during the month of December.