You Can't Take It With You

Perhaps it was not Shackelton's voyage to the Antarctic, and it certainly was not the FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD, but the first annual Ninja Camping Trip this weekend to the desolate wasteland of the Cedar Ridge Campground outside Belton was by all accounts a success despite the cold.

I returned home to my comfortable abode expecting a warm welcome back to civilization, but what I received rocked me to my very core.

The madness from last week has not abated, and young Eli (Now, I'm up to 45% of Archie and Olivia's inheritance) Manning has now led to the New York (Football) Giants to that "big game" that will take place in Glendale, Arizona on February 3, 2008.

(Proper name of this "big game" removed due to a run-in with a NFL official).

The NFL can monitor me all it wants, but you know what game I'm talking about (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

In said "big game", the New York (Football) Giants will face "The Great Satan". This game is almost like cheering a matchup between AIDS and the ebola virus. In other words, no matter who wins, we all lose.

See What There is to See, Time is Just a Melody

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "City of Blinding Lights" by U2 as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

Even though the United States intelligence community might have been confused about Iran's nuclear capabilities, the Running Down a Dream reading community should never be confused about the abilities of the great Tuegel in the realm of Bono & Co.

According to a highly placed, unnamed source that contacted our offices in the early morning hours, something called "The Mitchell Report" was released today. From everything that this anonymous source told me, I feel very bad that no one, absolutely no one, is talking about the 409-page document that this Senator Mitchell fellow quietly produced for delivery to an unsuspecting populace.

A few tips passed on by the anonymous source regarding the aforementioned, under the radar report:

• Roger Clemens' wife is probably not talking to him in that Cingular commercial because his battery was dead from ordering HGH.
• The Orioles-Astros trade was not actually Baltimore's way of throwing Miguel Tejada "under the bus", because as we learned today, Miggy probably could have lifted said bus.
• The reason Andy Pettitte keeps following Roger Clemens from city to city is that The Rocket buys performance-enhancing drugs for him like Wooderson buying cheap beer for the underclassmen in Dazed and Confused.
• If revisionist historians want to accurately summarize the career of former Phillies outfielder Lenny "Nails" Dykstra, he would be henceforth known as "Syringes". It's not your father's Phillies nickname, but it is probably bit more accurate.
• Now I think we all understand why Chuck Knoblauch had all those problems overthrowing the first baseman towards the end of his career. For a more effective strategy, the Yankees should have positioned Knobby to make his throws from Westchester County.
• If Mo Vaughn is on this list, that must mean performance-enhancing drugs are also found in BigMacs, and that I just cannot handle in an appropriate manner.

Welcome to the Brave New World, my friends. If you need me, I'll be out in the yard playing Backpaddle with the good fellows from The Jig & Twig.

Me and All My Friends, We're All Misunderstood

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Wonderwall" by Oasis as the Tuesday Song of the Day. Mr. Masten, your somewhat specious "my computer won't load the photos" excuse has been noted and disregarded. I'm sorry, but it's a cruel, cruel world in the Song of the Day contest.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Running Down a Dream enthusiasts of all ages and literacy levels, it is my distinct pleasure to announce the arrival of a new blog to the information superhighway: The Jig and Twig, primarily authored by the two gentlemen (Lance Agan and Jacob Wardell) to my left in the following photo.

The picture obviously makes it appear that Mr. Wardell is the "Teller" character of the arrangement and Mr. Agan is "Penn", but appearances can be deceiving.

Another deceiving facet of that photo is that it did not actually snow in Abilene on the day we graduated from ACU. That's obviously the aftermath of a Blahg promotional stunt gone horribly wrong. Luke, I always told you that no one wanted the shredded Enron documents as a graduation gift.