See What There is to See, Time is Just a Melody

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "City of Blinding Lights" by U2 as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

Even though the United States intelligence community might have been confused about Iran's nuclear capabilities, the Running Down a Dream reading community should never be confused about the abilities of the great Tuegel in the realm of Bono & Co.

According to a highly placed, unnamed source that contacted our offices in the early morning hours, something called "The Mitchell Report" was released today. From everything that this anonymous source told me, I feel very bad that no one, absolutely no one, is talking about the 409-page document that this Senator Mitchell fellow quietly produced for delivery to an unsuspecting populace.

A few tips passed on by the anonymous source regarding the aforementioned, under the radar report:

• Roger Clemens' wife is probably not talking to him in that Cingular commercial because his battery was dead from ordering HGH.
• The Orioles-Astros trade was not actually Baltimore's way of throwing Miguel Tejada "under the bus", because as we learned today, Miggy probably could have lifted said bus.
• The reason Andy Pettitte keeps following Roger Clemens from city to city is that The Rocket buys performance-enhancing drugs for him like Wooderson buying cheap beer for the underclassmen in Dazed and Confused.
• If revisionist historians want to accurately summarize the career of former Phillies outfielder Lenny "Nails" Dykstra, he would be henceforth known as "Syringes". It's not your father's Phillies nickname, but it is probably bit more accurate.
• Now I think we all understand why Chuck Knoblauch had all those problems overthrowing the first baseman towards the end of his career. For a more effective strategy, the Yankees should have positioned Knobby to make his throws from Westchester County.
• If Mo Vaughn is on this list, that must mean performance-enhancing drugs are also found in BigMacs, and that I just cannot handle in an appropriate manner.

Welcome to the Brave New World, my friends. If you need me, I'll be out in the yard playing Backpaddle with the good fellows from The Jig & Twig.