You Can't Take It With You

Perhaps it was not Shackelton's voyage to the Antarctic, and it certainly was not the FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD, but the first annual Ninja Camping Trip this weekend to the desolate wasteland of the Cedar Ridge Campground outside Belton was by all accounts a success despite the cold.

I returned home to my comfortable abode expecting a warm welcome back to civilization, but what I received rocked me to my very core.

The madness from last week has not abated, and young Eli (Now, I'm up to 45% of Archie and Olivia's inheritance) Manning has now led to the New York (Football) Giants to that "big game" that will take place in Glendale, Arizona on February 3, 2008.

(Proper name of this "big game" removed due to a run-in with a NFL official).

The NFL can monitor me all it wants, but you know what game I'm talking about (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

In said "big game", the New York (Football) Giants will face "The Great Satan". This game is almost like cheering a matchup between AIDS and the ebola virus. In other words, no matter who wins, we all lose.

Little Darling, It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Clear

Congratulations to my Dad for correctly naming Jackson Browne's "The Barricades of Heaven" as the Tuesday Song of the Day, and to Mr. Jacob Straub, Chicago to you and me, for correctly naming "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

I've written before that I will do whatever I can to brainwash my (non-existent) children to follow my favorite sports franchises, or in the parlance of Jerry Seinfeld, "Cheer for the same laundry", but I don't think I've ever thought about trying to do some like this.

"Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him. Matthew Kowald was cited for disorderly conduct in connection with the incident with his son at their home in Pardeeville, Lt. Wayne Smith of the Columbia County Sheriff's Department said. "

One would think that life would always be happy in a place called "Pardeeville", but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Also, a Patriots fan in Woburn, Massachusetts attempted to do the same thing to his son, but thankfully disaster was narrowly averted because Bill Belichick instructed a Pats assistant to tape the entire thing. (Ba-dum cha!)

Thanks, folks, and don't forget to tip your lovely waitresses.