I Wanted to Tell You But You Never Listened

The 2008 Beijing Olympic Organizing Committee is fond of promoting the fact that they are trying to put on the first-ever "Green Olympics", but I don't think they intended that moniker to describe the color of phlegm* that Olympians will be expelling from their lungs during events.

To protect the athletes, Mr. Wilber is encouraging them to train elsewhere and arrive in Beijing at the last possible moment. He is also testing possible Olympians to see if they qualify for an International Olympic Committee exemption to use an asthma inhaler. And, in what may be a controversial recommendation, Mr. Wilber is urging all the athletes to wear specially designed masks over their noses and mouths from the minute they step foot in Beijing until they begin competing. --"U.S. Olympians Devise Solution to Smog: Mask" by Juliet Macur

Chinese Air Quality: It's fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic!!!

*At least that's what Patty V. and Heidi Hipp told me.