So When Does the Plane Go Down?

5 Things You Probably Did Not Know About "The Big Game" taking place on February 3, 2008 (Note: Read this post with enough sarcasm to kill a horse, just not one named Barbaro).

1. Eli Manning, quarterback for the New York (Football) Giants, is related to another quarterback in the league, Peyton Manning, who happened to play in the "The Big Game" last year in Miami, Florida. Since Eli's aforementioned brother seems to be adverse to publicity and commercials, a large raise will go to the reporter who can scrounge up more information on this recluse.
   
2. The New England Patriots (coughTheGreatSatancough) are currently undefeated with an 18-0 record. What's that? You didn't know that well-hidden tidbit? Well, that's exactly why you're reading this post, my uninformed friend.
   
3. A man named Eric Mangini, who coaches a football team named after airplanes in New York, told on his former boss, Patriots coach Bill Belichick, after the initial game of the 2007 season. Some people got mad, some people paid large sums of money to a guy named Roger Goodell, and people keep talking about this thing called an "asterisk". There's really not enough reporting on this to forumlate an entire story, so let's just move on to the next point.
   
4. In the past 18 months, the quarterback for the Great Satan, Tom Brady, has fathered a child with a beautiful tv-star, Bridget Moynahan, broken up with Ms. Moynahan, began dating the world's most famous super-model, Gisele Bundchen, and compiled the greatest statistical year for a quarterback in the history of the NFL. At halftime of "The Big Game", Mr. Brady will receive a special present from the Make-a-Wish foundation because it seems that life has really dealt him a poor hand. No one deserves a string of bad bounces like Tom has had these past few years.
   
5. Did you know that Jerome Bettis is still from Detroit? Seriously, even though "The Big Game" was played there two years ago, you, the American viewing public, still need to know that the big, lovable, mass-transportation nicknamed lug was actually a native of the city where he won his first "Big Game". What? You didn't know that either? I'm beginning to think that you're a lost cause.

At least you're not dumb enough to believe that the Manning brothers actually have a father who played professional football, because that would just be ridiculous.