I Will No Other to Follow Me Where I Am Going

Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson for correctly naming "Into the Mystic" by Van Morrison as the Thursday and Friday Song of the Day.

In t-minus 4 hours, I, along with the genius behind The Jig and Twig and Garrett T. Oakley, will make my first journey to what the Houston locals like to call "The Juice Box" a.k.a. Enron Field, ahem, Minute Maid Park.

I'm not sure if 41 and Barbara will be in their usual seats behind home-plate, but George, just in case the Rocket's back in town, you might want to keep a close eye on your better half.

Bells are Chiming for Victory

At this point, we've all read the stories about the U.S.-launched missile that destroyed a National Reconnaissance Office satellite late Wednesday night, but in the words of George Oscar Bluth II (G.O.B. to his friends), "COME ON, U.S. military."

Aren't there other uses for the munitions of the United States, such as...

• Yankee Stadium
• The studios filming any one of the thousand "CSI: (Insert American City here)"
• Old Trafford
• The headquarters of the Blahg
• Jose Canseco's house, Roger Clemens's house, Barry Bonds's house, etc.
• The source of the immortal "Don't tase me, bro" catchphrase
• People still voting for Mitt Romney weeks after he dropped (excuse me, suspended) his Presidential campaign.
• Any supporters of the Philadelphia Eagles, New York Giants, or New England Patriots.
• The person that invented speed limits
• Charlie Finley and John Hedyler (the brain trust behind the designated hitter rule)

That's all the punishment I can dole out at this time, but feel free to add your own suggestions.