"There's a small place inside us that they can never lock away, and that place is called hope."
-- Andy Dufresne
Saturday, February 28, 2009
When You're All Argumentative and You've Got the Face On
Congratulations to Ms. Nina Patterson for correctly naming "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead as the Friday Song of the Day.
I realize that I'm becoming a bit repetitive with these "drug cartels are taking over Mexico" stories, but it bears mentioning when one of the cartels in Juarez basically steals one of the Joker's tactics in The Dark Knight.
It was drug traffickers who decided that Chief Roberto Orduña Cruz, a retired army major who had been on the job since May, should go. To make clear their insistence, they vowed to kill a police officer every 48 hours until he resigned.
They first killed Mr. Orduña’s deputy, Operations Director Sacramento Pérez Serrano, together with three of his men. Then another police officer and a prison guard turned up dead. As the body count grew, Mr. Orduña eventually did as the traffickers had demanded, resigning his post on Feb. 20 and fleeing the city.
No, Governor "Good Hair" is not leaving the Governor's Mansion in Austin, at least not before his 2010 primary showdown with KBH. Instead, the Rick Parry leaving the scene will be the one who currently serves the Chief Executive for Liverpool Football Club.
Two straight days of Rick Perry mentions on Running Down a Dream, though. That MUST be some type of record.
Current Reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
Congratulations to my Dad for correctly naming "Up on Cripple Creek" by The Band (quite an audacious name if you think about it) as the Wednesday Song of the Day.
Last month, I linked to a story from the Wall Street Journal regarding the U.S. military's belief that Mexico is dangerously close to becoming a "failed state", and Tuesday's decision by Governor Rick Perry to ask the Texas Legislature for $135 million and 1,000 troops to fight trans-national gangs specializing in drug trafficking only adds to the growing number of voices that recognize the perilous plight of our neighbors to the south.
My Dad is going to get a double mention in today's post because he recently returned from a mission trip to Monterrey, Mexico and said that two events in particular confirmed that the war between the leaders of the drug trade and law enforcement officials may be reaching a critical tipping point. First, he said as they returned from working at a church on the outskirts of Monterrey one afternoon, the traffic on the expressway ground to an absolute stand-still.
That's a common occurrence in any large urban area, but the root cause of the traffic jam was one that you're not likely to see in Dallas, Austin, or Houston. He said that they began to see a large number of people, including children, running down the freeway, weaving in and out of the stopped cars. A news report that evening revealed that the pedestrians were in the employ of the local drug lords and were sent out to cause mayhem in the freeways as a signal to the law enforcement officials of Monterrey that the drug lords could put a choke-hold on the infrastructure of the city whenever and however they desired.
The second event may not be an especially remarkable one, but the fact that is unremarkable may be a scene of how chaotic life has become in Mexico. While my Dad was in Monterrey, one of the leading local police officials was gunned down while on the job. The murder did not occur at night on a raid, or while the officer was engaged in a particularly dangerous portion of his job, unless the simple fact of being a law enforcement officer in Mexico these days with the audacity to oppose the drug trade is considered a "dangerous portion of the job".
Sadly, these types of "in broad daylight" killings occur far too frequently in Mexico these days, but to hear the story from someone who was in the city when it occurred grants the events a level of immediacy that cannot be generated by simple text on a screen.
When I Get Off of This Mountain, You Know Where I Wanna Go?
Congratulations to Ms. Stacey Villescas for correctly naming "Make You Feel My Love" by Bob Dylan, Adele, Garth Brooks, et al. as the Tuesday Song of the Day.
Sure, there are a lot of folks out there on the ol' interwebs who brought you the video of David, the magnificent child who was stoned out of his gourd after leaving the dentist's office, but who has two-thumbs and is giving you the "David After Dentist REMIX"?
This guy.
P.S. Yossi Benayoun and the rest of the Liverpool Football Club thank you for your continued support after today's 1-0 win against Real Madrid in Spain. Yossi Benayoun, my favorite Israeli since David Ben-Gurion.
In the spirit of further alienating my readership by engaging in a process of self-aggrandizement, I'm taking this opportunity to get my Champions League predictions out there for all the world to see (as if it, or you, cared) before the Knockout Stages begin later today back on "The Continent" and Mother England.
If you are like my Dad and wonder,"Now which competition is this one?", well, I have the answer for you, courtesy of that fount of all (slightly reputable) knowledge, Wikipedia:
The UEFA Champions League, which evolved from the European Champion Clubs' Cup, is a seasonal club football competition organised by UEFA since 1992 (or overall in its older format since 1955) for the most successful football clubs in Europe. The prize, the European Champion Clubs' Cup (more commonly known as the European Cup), is the most prestigious club trophy in the sport.
Armed with that knowledge, I give you the following predictions for which clubs will advance to the Round of 8 (predicted winners in bold):
Chelsea FC (England) vs. Juventus FC (Italy)
Readers of this blog know that my dislike for Chelsea is only surpassed by my dislike for the English Evil Empire, but my choice of Juventus here is not motivated solely by dislike for the West Londoners, but my belief that Juventus will be able to put the defensive vise-grip on a Chelsea side that has struggled to score goals as of late. Sorry, Johnny Boy.
Villareal FC (Spain) vs. Panathinaikos FC (Greece)
I would be lying to you if I thought that I could provide any type of in-depth insight on this matchup, but since Villareal is playing well right now in La Liga and they have the American-born scoring machine that is Giuseppe Rossi leading the attack, I'm going with the "Yellow Submarine" from Spain to advance.
Sporting CP (Portugal) vs. FC Bayern Munich (Germany)
Toni, Ribery, Klose, Podolski, Ze Roberto, Schweinsteiger and the rest of the reigning German Bundesliga champs will be too much for one of weaker teams remaining in the competition to handle. Bayern wins this one going away.
Atletico Madrid (Spain) vs. FC Porto (Portugal)
Atletico Madrid, besides being the former club of one Fernando Torres, gave Liverpool all they could handle during the Group Stages, and I fully expect them to advance past a Porto side that is not quite as strong as they have been in past years. Atletico striker Sergio Aguero, who is Argentinian, is currently adjusting to life on the Argentine national team playing for his father-in-law, Diego Maradona, who is widely known as one of the greatest players of all time. It's the Argentinian equivalent of LeBron playing on the U.S. National Team for his father-in-law Michael Jordan, only if Jordan had history as a rampant cheater and one time cocaine addict. So, basically it's nothing like that.
Olympique Lyon (France) vs. FC Barcelona (Spain)
In what should be one of the more high-scoring matchups of the round, look for Barcelona to mow through the French like the German Army in 1940. Also, if you have not been following the exploits of the phenom that is Barcelona's Lionel Messi, here's a sample of what he's capable of with a soccer ball at his feet.
Arsenal FC (England) vs. AS Roma (Italy)
Out of the other clubs in England's so-called "Big Four" I have the most affection for Arsenal, but they have been quite toothless recently in front of the goal, and I think the Italians can steal a crucial win today at the Emirates Stadium in England. Also, when Arsenal goes to Rome in early March for the second-leg, their fans will be less concerned with supporting their team and more concerned with how to avoid getting shanked by the Roma fans. Hooligans, they're FANNNNTASTIC!!!!
FC Internazionale Milan (Italy) vs. Manchester United FC (England)
It's the English Evil Empire versus the club that Liverpool knocked out of the tournament at the same stage in last year's competition. At this point, I'm going with the "Doubting Thomas" corollary, in that I have to see Man. U. actually lose before I'm going to pick against them in a two-legged competition. That was as painful for me to write as it was for you to read.
CF Real Madrid (Spain) vs. Liverpool FC (England)
Even though the Reds have had some recent hiccups, including Sunday's home draw against Manchester City, and Real Madrid has been lighting La Liga on fire lately, I still think Liverpool will emerge victorious. Torres is going to relish his trip to Madrid tomorrow night to play against the club he grew up despising, and Gerrard's return to the lineup after a three-week absence will provide the necessary spark that Liverpool needs to get past the Spanish juggernaut.
Tomorrow I promise to break out of the "1 sentence and a YouTube video" posting format, but for tonight, I'll leave you with the knowledge that I had a great visit to Abilene this weekend, and the men of Gamma Sigma Phi made me quite proud in bringing home their 7th Sing Song title in the last 8 years.
Congratulations to the lovely Ms. Amanda Pierce for correctly naming "All We Are" by OneRepublic as the Wednesday Song of the Day.
I realize I don't normally utilize the ol' blog as a vehicle for detailing my academic career, but since Professor Osler assigned me to a group to "research" powder cocaine as part of his Criminal Practice and Procedure course, I felt compelled to share with you, my dear readers, some of the more colloquial names for powder cocaine so that you can be a more informed member of whatever community you happen to call home. Without further ado:
Blow--Real original work here Johnny Depp. Give me some creativity, Capt. Sparrow.
Nose Candy--Coming to an H.E.B. near you, kids!!!!
Powder--And I just thought this was a slightly creepy movie.
Nose Powder
White Powder--Used most famously by "White Power" Bill of Arrested Development.
Birdie Powder
Friskie Powder--The only cat food guaranteed to cause paranoia.
Happy Powder--So that's what Peter Pan and the Lost Boys were up to all that time.
Marching Powder
Bolivian Marching Powder--I think I actually put some of this in my chili last week.
Joy Powder--I think one of my friends dated Joy Powder at ACU.
Powder Diamonds--I actually worked my way up to skiing a couple of these last time I was in Colorado.
Star Spangled Powder--You too, Francis Scott Key??? Is anything sacred? Does this mean Fort McHenry was actually a crack-house? So many questions.
Aspirin--Wait a second here...
Aunt--I don't even have a joke here because this one makes absolutely no sense.
Candy Sugar--Does the same exact thing to your stomach as Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.
Devil's Dandruff-Someone get Mephistpholes some Head and Shoulders for goodness sake.
Fast White Lady--Danica Patrick, if you take this as your new nick-name, I want credit.
Flake--I'm on to you, Jack Johnson. You drug fiend.
Flave--Sold with a complimentary viking helmet and clock necklace.
Shake
Shrile
Snowball-A large number of catowners do powder cocaine. A large number of cats are named "Snowball". Mere Coincidence? You decide.
Soft
Sugar Boogers--My personal favorite.
Pariba--I think this is the website Dan Carlson writes for but you can never be too sure.
Tornado--So that's how they paid Bill Pullman and Helen Hunt.
Uptown--Perhaps Billy Joel wasn't actually writing about a girl. Hmmmm.
White Boy
White Dragon--I had some great sesame chicken at White Dragon once.
Wicky Stick--The best selling Christmas gift in 1987.
Yao--So that's how a Chinese guy ends up at 7 ft. 6 in.
We Won't Break, We Won't Die, It's Just a Moment of Change
Congratulations to Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for correctly naming "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger as the Tuesday Song of the Day. Congratulations also are in order to Mr. Jeremy Masten for further clarifying that the title of the song is "Flagpole Sitta" not "Flagpole Sitter". That's the kind of attention to detail they pound into your skull full of mush here at BLS.
I'm not sure if I should be pleased that the song has held up so well over the last 11 years or if I should be sad that the first time I ever heard "Flagpole Sitta" was on the first edition of that bane of everyone's musical existence, "Now That's What I Call Music!" Vol. 1.
Just look at the songs on this album:
Janet Jackson--"Together Again"
Backstreet Boys--"As Long as You Love Me"
Fastball--"The Way"
Harvey Danger--"Flagpole Sitta"
Spice Girls--"Say You'll Be There"
K-Ci and JoJo--"All My Life"
All Saints--"Never Ever"
Tonic--"If You Could Only See"
Hanson--"MMMBop"
Cherry Poppin' Daddies--"Zoot Suit Riot"
Imajin featuring Keith Murray--"Shorty"
Brian McKnight--"Anytime"
Aqua--"Barbie Girl"
Radiohead--"Karma Police"
Everclear--"I Will Buy You a New Life"
Lenny Kravitz--"Fly Away"
Marcy Playground--"Sex and Candy"
My Lord. That is a travesty on par with the first O.J. Simpson trial. A few thoughts, though:
Do you think Thom Yorke categorically forbids anyone from mentioning in his presence that "Karma Police" was on this album?
When "MMMBop" has a fighting chance at being one of the Top 5 songs on an album, any album, that's not a future hit. That's a cry for help.
Cherry Poppin' Daddies: One of the most risky band names of our time or the riskiest?
Without consulting YouTube, I have no earthly idea who either All Saints, Imajin, or Keith Murray are. Any help from the readership?
The Pew Research Center just finished a study about where Americans would like to live and what sort of lifestyle they would like to have. The first thing they found is that even in dark times, Americans are still looking over the next horizon. Nearly half of those surveyed said they would rather live in a different type of community from the one they are living in at present.
Second, Americans still want to move outward. City dwellers are least happy with where they live, and cities are one of the least popular places to live...
Cities remain attractive to the young. Forty-five percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 34 would like to live in New York City. But cities are profoundly unattractive to people with families and to the elderly...
Third, Americans still want to go west. The researchers at Pew asked Americans what metro areas they would like to live in. Seven of the top 10 were in the West: Denver, San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco, Phoenix, Portland and Sacramento. The other three were in the South: Orlando, Tampa and San Antonio. Eastern cities were down the list and Midwestern cities were at the bottom.
Although Brooks did not address this in his column, I was, with a little wrangling, cajoling, and yes, outright bribery, able to obtain the release of the bottom three cities in the polling conducted by the Pew Research Center.
Let us not beat around the bush: Lubbock sucks. You and I have no love for Lubbock. Often, and this is just one man?s opinion, I could be wrong, I think Lubbock has about as much appeal as lard-fried Vienna sausages served in a pool of warm goat spit.
This city has not always been a gentle place, but a series of events over the past few, frigid days causes one to wonder how cold the collective heart has grown.
It starts with a phone call made by a man who said his friend found a dead body in the elevator shaft of an abandoned building on the city's west side.
"He's encased in ice, except his legs, which are sticking out like Popsicle sticks," the caller phoned to tell this reporter.
Ladies and gentlemen, G.O.B. Bluth may tell you that "the jury's still out on science", but the fact that those cities are at the bottom of the list is a fact as immutable as Pluto's status as a planet.
Let This Be My Annual Reminder That We Can All Be Something Bigger
Growing up in the southern United States, it was not unusual to hear stories of fans of various football teams getting into drunken brawls over the outcome of a game between their two favorite teams. Usually those fights were simply "crimes of passion" that arose in a fit of rage after a last-second loss or a particularly vicious argument. In the world of English football, though, disagreements between supporters of rival clubs can be taken a BIT too far.
A married Manchester United fan drove 400 miles for a saucy weekend with a girl he’d met on the internet only to discover it was an elaborate hoax set up by two burly Liverpool supporters he had upset on holiday.
The story is worth your time if only because it includes the following phrases: "professional cage fighters", "rude photograph", and "You've been framed". That's practically an outline of the script for the next Guy Ritchie movie.
Congratulations to Ms. Nina Patterson for correctly naming "Glory & Consequence" by Ben Harper as the Friday Song of the Day.
Watching the following video of Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals Live at the Hollywood Bowl in 2003 is worthwhile if only to see Ben Harper wearing an outfit that he, most likely, pilfered from the set of the final season of The Patridge Family.
Oh, also, it's worth watching because Ben Harper is OUTSTANDING.
Current Reading The Prize: The Epic Quest for Oil, Money & Power by Daniel Yergin
Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "Wake Up" by the Arcade Fire as the Thursday Song of the Day.
Speaking of Mr. Tuegel, Andrew also passed along to me earlier today the following headline regarding our alma mater:
"NCAA Hits ACU for Track & Field, Football Violations"
When you go to a Division II school, the best you can really hope for in the athletics department is:
To constantly annoy people when the one guy from your school in the NFL (Danieal Manning of the Chicago Bears) does anything remotely noteworthy; and
Try to avoid scandals and NCAA violations, because as Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson taught us in Wedding Crashers, "You want to draw attention to yourself but in a good way."
You can read the full article here, but the following portion of the article absolutely blew my mind:
The NCAA cited the program with numerous violations, including ACU men’s and women’s track coaches and athletic boosters providing illegal benefits to student-athletes during the 2006-2007 and 2007-2008 academic years.
During the Christmas holidays in 2006 and 2007, Hillcrest Church of Christ held parties for some of the international students at the home of an ACU assistant track coach. During those parties, 15 ACU track athletes were given gifts, including small appliances, DVDs, CDs, food items, personal items and cash donated by the church.
Before those parties, another assistant had asked the head track coach for a list of international athletes who would be in Abilene during the holidays. Also, the NCAA said the head coach attended the parties and was aware of the gifts received by the athletes.
The NCAA did not name the head coach, but Hood has been in the position since Aug. 24, 2005.
According to the NCAA, Hood said “he did not realize the gifts would be considered extra benefits,” and he went on to add that the church members who provided the items “were acting out of a desire to assist people who were far away from their homes and families for the holidays, not to assist the athletic program.”
Thanks, NCAA.
You've really outdone yourself this time.
I'm not so sure that international students being forced to spend the holidays away from their loved ones in a foreign country and receiving gifts from members of a local church is quite the same thing as former Oklahoma quarterback Rhett Bomar getting a cushy job at a Norman car dealership, but then again, what do I know?
For those of you who know me well, you probably know that I have a moderate to severe man crush on Bill Simmons, but today the Sports Guy really outdid himself.
In his annual "NBA Trade Value" column, Simmons presented to the world the following video featuring the immortal (due to the fact that he's an alien) John Tesh performing "Roundball Rock", a.k.a. the NBA on NBC theme from the 1990's.
Just watching the video took me back to the days of Bulls-Knicks in the Eastern Conference Finals, Marv Albert's toupee in its middle years, and countless showings of "Entertainment Tonight".
There's one thing that I think the Sports Guy got wrong with his video analysis, though. At the 1:17-1:25 stretch of the video where Simmons thought that Tesh was playing "air piano", I think that Yanni, Jr. is actually doing something closer to "air dribbling" of a basketball. I'm not Marcel Marceau here, but I think that's pretty close to how a mime would dribble a basketball, also assuming that the mime has an assist-to-turnover ratio comparable to that of a drunk Gheorghe Muresan.
I apologize to Billy Crystal and Big Gheorge for that last comment.
Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson for correctly naming "My City of Ruins" by Bruce Springsteen as the Tuesday Song of the Day.
As much as I enjoy anything that negatively impacts that baseball franchise located in the Bronx, the A-Rod steroid revelations are somewhat bittersweet due to the fact that his Primobolan -enhanced exploits took place while he was employed by the only baseball franchise that breaks, ahem, warms my heart, the Texas Rangers.
At this point, I'm really just looking for a list from Major League Baseball that tells me who didn't take steroids between the strike-shortened season of 1994 and the present day. If I somehow learn that in 1993, a newly-retired Nolan Ryan contemplated a return to the big leagues courtesy of a Primobolan boost, in the same year that I've been exposed to the worst of the 90's Cowboys-dynasty, well, I think I'm going to be begin to question whether the universe is really a benevolent and loving place after all.
Current Reading Grand New Party: How Republicans Can Win the Working Class and Save the American Dream by Ross Douthat and Reihan Salam
The Church Doors Blown Open, I Can Hear the Organ's Song
Congratulations to Mr. Stephen Olson for correctly naming "15 Step" by Radiohead as the Monday Song of the Day.
I'm not sure if I thought I would ever be able to write the words "Thom Yorke" and "U.S.C. Marching Band" in the same sentence without making a Chuck Klosterman-esque comparison between the 2004-05 Trojan football team and In Rainbows, but lo and behold, on Sunday night, members of the U.S.C. band backed Radiohead as they played "15 Step" at the Grammys.
Unfortunately for you, the reader, the Grammy I.P. forces quickly shut down video of the performance, and you have been left with this performance of "15 Step" from Jools Holland.
Moving on...I'm not going to say that everyone out there needs to immediately go purchase a copy of Lawrence Wright's The Looming Tower: Al Qaeda and the Road to 9/11, but if you're looking for a book that does an excellent job of explaining the "why" of 9/11 as much as the "what", you would be hard pressed to find a better piece of work.
There are a number of great books out there that have conveyed the aftermath of 9/11 and the aftershocks it caused in American foreign policy such as Richard Clarke's Against All Enemies, Seymour Hersh's Chain of Command: The Road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib, George Packer's The Assassins' Gate: America in Iraq, Thomas E. Ricks' Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq, and The One Percent Doctrine: Deep Inside America's Pursuit of Its Enemies Since 9/11 by Ron Suskind, but The Looming Tower was the first book that I've read on the topic that explained how an organization that was virtually unknown to the international intelligence community in the mid-90s could pull off the most shocking act of terrorism in history.
Congratulations to Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for correctly naming "Basket Case" by Green Day as the Friday Song of the Day. I may be going out on a limb here, but "Basket Case" may be the song that the largest number of people in Generation Y can nearly quote verbatim. If I'm wrong here, please, please, please let me know where I've gone astray.
Speaking of memorable music videos, Coldplay just released the video for "Life in Technicolor II", and if you're not completely creeped out by marionettes, it's an enjoyable 4 minutes and 33 seconds.
Many thanks to Andrew Tuegel for sending the video my way.
A few thoughts from George, not Peter, Vecsey on the whole Michael Phelps “Bong Hits for Jesus, Mark Spitz, South Carolina Gamecocks, the Baltimore Ravens, Beijing, Speedo, et al.” fiasco.
Like it or not, by winning eight gold medals, Phelps automatically became a role model by virtue of being sent out there as a highly paid spokesman for multinational corporations. We like our sporting heroes to be perfect, but it’s hard to be perfect in the 24-hour electronic buzz where everybody is a blogger and has a cellphone camera within reach.
Phelps wandered into a party and trusted that nothing bad could possibly happen to him among his new chums. What’s the penalty for being dopey? Not suspension, that’s for sure. The penalty should have been: go out there and swim, ya big lug ya. The chlorine is good for you.
After taking the FINAL FINAL of my penultimate quarter of law school, I arrived this evening in the 615, and I'm ready for whatever adventures Middle Tennessee holds in the first week in February.
Current Reading The Looming Tower: Al Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 by Lawrence Wright
Even though recently released odds for Super Bowl XLIV have America's Team at 9-1 to take the Lombardi Trophy away from the Steelers, after this news I see no chance of Skeletor and Co. bringing home the title next year in Miami.
Everybody Feels So Determined Not to Feel Anyone Else's Pain
As excited as you all probably were about today being Groundhog Day, I"m going to make the bold proclamation that your combined excitement still fell short of this guy's enthusiasm.
While some people were excited about today's Groundhog Day festivies, others were not, particularly "Staten Island Chuck", who surprisingly is not a Yankees fan, but is instead Punxsutawney Phil's Big Apple-based doppelganger.
Phil was as docile as usual, but the same couldn't be said for his grumpy New York City counterpart, Staten Island Chuck, who bit Mayor Michael Bloomberg during his annual forecasting ceremony on Monday. "It nicked his hand," said Bloomberg spokesman Stu Loeser.The groundhog, officially named Charles G. Hogg, drew blood from the billionaire, but Bloomberg was told there was no risk of rabies.
Groundhogs and the U.S. Congress: The Two Groups Trying to Bleed Billionaires These Days.
Ol' Bruce played a pretty darn good version of "10th Avenue Freeze Out" tonight at halftime of some football game in Tampa Bay, but that's not the first time he's done that.
As entertaining as the Fitzgerald-Holmes touchdown trade-off was, I'm still going with this as the most exciting sports-related moment of the day.
Fernando Torres, spreading the Spanish language all over Northwest England.
It was drug traffickers who decided that Chief Roberto Orduña Cruz, a retired army major who had been on the job since May, should go. To make clear their insistence, they vowed to kill a police officer every 48 hours until he resigned.
