Waitin' For When the Last Shall Be First and the First Shall Be Last

I had promised myself that I was going to keep the Kanye-Taylor Swift commentary to an absolute minimum, but when one of your friends does something like this, it must be shared.

Credit: Jesse Eyer (well done, sir).

For Anyone You Think Could Outdo Me

Congratulations to Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for correctly naming "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys as the Tuesday Song of the Day. I said it to the lady friend this weekend, and I'll say it again here: "Sabotage" gets my vote for best music video of the 90's.

You might disagree with me on that point, and if you do, I would love to hear your suggestion for the #1 spot.

Question of the Day:

What is the first word that comes to mind when I see the following photo?
Answer:
Schadenfreude. Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

Well done, Barca.

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It

Congratulations to Mr. Alan Robertson for correctly naming "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

Big news today in the legal world with President Obama's nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to replace David Souter on the Supreme Court. While everyone else will spend hours poring over Judge Sotomayor's legal opinions, I say that the one true test of her qualifications to serve on the high court is a full breakdown of the high-jump technique of the other "famous" (I use the term loosely) Sotomayor, the current world record-holder in the high-jump, Javier Sotomayor.

Question of the Day:

Justin, can I root for Manchester United instead of Barcelona tomorrow's Champions League Final?

Answer:

Sure, if you would have also supported the Axis in World War II.

Current Reading

American Caesar--Douglas MacArthur 1880-1964 by William Manchester

I Know You Haven't Made Your Mind Up Yet

In the spirit of further alienating my readership by engaging in a process of self-aggrandizement, I'm taking this opportunity to get my Champions League predictions out there for all the world to see (as if it, or you, cared) before the Knockout Stages begin later today back on "The Continent" and Mother England.

If you are like my Dad and wonder,"Now which competition is this one?", well, I have the answer for you, courtesy of that fount of all (slightly reputable) knowledge, Wikipedia:

The UEFA Champions League, which evolved from the European Champion Clubs' Cup, is a seasonal club football competition organised by UEFA since 1992 (or overall in its older format since 1955) for the most successful football clubs in Europe. The prize, the European Champion Clubs' Cup (more commonly known as the European Cup), is the most prestigious club trophy in the sport.

Armed with that knowledge, I give you the following predictions for which clubs will advance to the Round of 8 (predicted winners in bold):

• Chelsea FC (England) vs. Juventus FC (Italy)

Readers of this blog know that my dislike for Chelsea is only surpassed by my dislike for the English Evil Empire, but my choice of Juventus here is not motivated solely by dislike for the West Londoners, but my belief that Juventus will be able to put the defensive vise-grip on a Chelsea side that has struggled to score goals as of late. Sorry, Johnny Boy.

• Villareal FC (Spain) vs. Panathinaikos FC (Greece)

I would be lying to you if I thought that I could provide any type of in-depth insight on this matchup, but since Villareal is playing well right now in La Liga and they have the American-born scoring machine that is Giuseppe Rossi leading the attack, I'm going with the "Yellow Submarine" from Spain to advance.

• Sporting CP (Portugal) vs. FC Bayern Munich (Germany)

Toni, Ribery, Klose, Podolski, Ze Roberto, Schweinsteiger and the rest of the reigning German Bundesliga champs will be too much for one of weaker teams remaining in the competition to handle. Bayern wins this one going away.

• Atletico Madrid (Spain) vs. FC Porto (Portugal)

Atletico Madrid, besides being the former club of one Fernando Torres, gave Liverpool all they could handle during the Group Stages, and I fully expect them to advance past a Porto side that is not quite as strong as they have been in past years. Atletico striker Sergio Aguero, who is Argentinian, is currently adjusting to life on the Argentine national team playing for his father-in-law, Diego Maradona, who is widely known as one of the greatest players of all time. It's the Argentinian equivalent of LeBron playing on the U.S. National Team for his father-in-law Michael Jordan, only if Jordan had history as a rampant cheater and one time cocaine addict. So, basically it's nothing like that.

• Olympique Lyon (France) vs. FC Barcelona (Spain)

In what should be one of the more high-scoring matchups of the round, look for Barcelona to mow through the French like the German Army in 1940. Also, if you have not been following the exploits of the phenom that is Barcelona's Lionel Messi, here's a sample of what he's capable of with a soccer ball at his feet.

• Arsenal FC (England) vs. AS Roma (Italy)

Out of the other clubs in England's so-called "Big Four" I have the most affection for Arsenal, but they have been quite toothless recently in front of the goal, and I think the Italians can steal a crucial win today at the Emirates Stadium in England. Also, when Arsenal goes to Rome in early March for the second-leg, their fans will be less concerned with supporting their team and more concerned with how to avoid getting shanked by the Roma fans. Hooligans, they're FANNNNTASTIC!!!!

• FC Internazionale Milan (Italy) vs. Manchester United FC (England)

It's the English Evil Empire versus the club that Liverpool knocked out of the tournament at the same stage in last year's competition. At this point, I'm going with the "Doubting Thomas" corollary, in that I have to see Man. U. actually lose before I'm going to pick against them in a two-legged competition. That was as painful for me to write as it was for you to read.

• CF Real Madrid (Spain) vs. Liverpool FC (England)

Even though the Reds have had some recent hiccups, including Sunday's home draw against Manchester City, and Real Madrid has been lighting La Liga on fire lately, I still think Liverpool will emerge victorious. Torres is going to relish his trip to Madrid tomorrow night to play against the club he grew up despising, and Gerrard's return to the lineup after a three-week absence will provide the necessary spark that Liverpool needs to get past the Spanish juggernaut.

I Take the Checks and Face the Facts

In an attempt to embrace the all-encompassing commercial morass that is Christmas in the YEAR OF OUR LORD 2008, I'm bringing you my Top 5 Nike commercials OF...THE...PAST...YEAR.

Why aren't there any Reebok commercials on the list?

Well, because if you can name a good Reebok commercial, you're a better man, woman, or child than me.

Why aren't there any Adidas commercials?

Because I'm still angry about World War II.

Why are you asking needless rhetorical questions?

I don't know. Let's move on.

Without further ado...the Top 5, in no particular order.

"Take It to the Next Level"

It's directed by Guy Ritchie, the background music is provided by Eagles of Death Metal, and it features some of the European football clubs that I love to hate the most. Plus, who doesn't love a little projectile vomiting in their commercials?

"Leave Nothing"

A steroid-abusing protagonist in Shawn Merriman? Check. One of the league's most enigmatic performers in Steven Jackson? Check. A cut from the soundtrack for Last of the Mohicans? Check. What's not to love?

"Fate"

Call me a sucker for being pulled in by a video directed by David Fincher that features a remix of "Ecstasy of Gold" from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but I'm a huge fan of the latest edition of Nike's "Leave Nothing" series.

"Courage"

Due to the affinity that I have for "All These Things I've Done", especially after it was played non-stop during Insanity for Humanity, I liked this spot from the first viewing, but if you're giving me shots of the Serengeti, Lance Armstrong-homage footage, and John McEnroe's frizzy afro? Well, that's solid gold, my friends.

"Candyman"

Perhaps if you've never held chalk, baby powder, or flour in your hands and felt its power, this commercial might not mean anything to you. If you have, though, and know that feeling of pure joy when the flour leaves your hands bound for some poor sap's face, you can relate to LeBron.

As always, dear readers, let me know where I've gone wrong with my picks.

P.S. Any blame for the idea of Top-5 lists should fall on this guy.

Nobody Said It Was Easy, No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

Congratulations to Ms. Stacy Villescas for correctly naming "A Day in the Life" by the Beatles as the Thursday Song of the Day. Stacy, if you want to think of a win in the illustrious Song of the Day contest as my Christmas gift to you, so be it.

The UEFA Champions League first knockout round draw was held this morning at UEFA headquarters in Nyon, Switzerland. Here's how things shook out for Europe's elite footballing clubs:

• Arsenal FC (England) v. AC Milan (Italy and current Champions League title holders)



• Olympique Lyonnais (France) v. Manchester United FC (England)



• Celtic FC (Scotland) v. FC Barcelona (Spain)



• Schalke 04 (Germany) v. FC Porto (Portugal)



• AS Roma (Italy) v. Real Madrid CF (Spain)



• Olympiacos CFP (Greece) v. Chelsea FC (England)



• Fenerbahce (Turkey) v. FC Sevilla (Spain)

And the moment you've all been waiting for...

Liverpool FC v. Internazionale Milan (Italy)

Yes, that's right, Liverpool drew the two-time defending Serie A champions who also happen to be on a 16 game unbeaten run to open the 2007-2008 Serie A campaign. Does that mean that the Liverpool faithful will not be thrilled by the chance to take down Inter and claim victory in the legendary San Siro? No sir. Every one of the teams left in the competition at this point is capable of greatness and the Reds must live by the maxim of "Face them now or face them later."

In the other matchups, the Arsenal-AC Milan matches are going to be outstanding. It is always fun to watch the old guard take on the up-and-comers and this is definitely the case with Arsene Wenger's "kids" taking on the battle-hardened lineup from AC Milan. At this point, I'm going with Arsenal to progress.
Man. U., as usual, drew a Lyon side that is talented, but at this point must be considered among the weaker remaining teams in the field of 16. Barring any significant injuries between now and February, I'm picking Man. U. to win this matchup in a fairly easy fashion. It pains me just to write that.
The Celtic-Barcelona matches are probably going to a more entertaining version of the Rangers (Scotland)-Barcelona matches during the Group Stages. I have no doubt that Celtic Park will be a sight to behold when Barca come calling, but I think that Ronaldinho, Messi, Henry, Eto'o, Deco & Co. will just be too much for Celtic to contain; Barca moves on to the Round of 8.
The Schalke-Porto matchup is a combination of some of the lesser-known teams remaining in the competition but the Germans clawed back from an early deficit to claim the second qualifying spot from Group B and Porto won Group A, the same group as Liverpool. Even though Schalke is a strong team, I think the individual brilliance of Porto's playmakers like Quaresma, Lisandro Lopez, Sektioui, and Lucho Gonzales will guide the Portuguese giants to victory.
Roma-Real Madrid presents a very interesting Round of 16 matchup due to the star power and name recognition presented by both sides. I know that there are a lot of people who are pointing to Madrid as the team that will the trophy in Moscow, but I have to go with Roma in this matchup. The leadership of Francesco Totti and the brilliance of Mancini will lead the Italian side to the Round of 8.
Olympiacos versus Cheslea is a case of a relatively unknown team against a squad that is world-renowned. It should be noted that key Chelsea players such as Didier Drogba, Michael Essien, and John Obi Mikel will be back from national team duty at the African Cup of Nations in time for these matches, and I expect Chelsea to advance from this pairing. You don't know how much I endured composing that last sentence as well.
Finally, Fenerbahce versus Sevilla, even more than Schalke versus Porto, presents a matchup between the competition's two dark horses. Even though Sevilla has won the last two UEFA cups (the NIT to the Champions League's NCAA tournament), they still manage to fly under the radar thanks to the fact that they play in the same league as media darlings Real Madrid and Barcelona. In what will no doubt be some highly entertaining matches, I see Fenerbahce advancing to the Round of 8.

Remember kids, it's the most wonderful time of the year.