I Take the Checks and Face the Facts

In an attempt to embrace the all-encompassing commercial morass that is Christmas in the YEAR OF OUR LORD 2008, I'm bringing you my Top 5 Nike commercials OF...THE...PAST...YEAR.

Why aren't there any Reebok commercials on the list?

Well, because if you can name a good Reebok commercial, you're a better man, woman, or child than me.

Why aren't there any Adidas commercials?

Because I'm still angry about World War II.

Why are you asking needless rhetorical questions?

I don't know. Let's move on.

Without further ado...the Top 5, in no particular order.

"Take It to the Next Level"

It's directed by Guy Ritchie, the background music is provided by Eagles of Death Metal, and it features some of the European football clubs that I love to hate the most. Plus, who doesn't love a little projectile vomiting in their commercials?

"Leave Nothing"

A steroid-abusing protagonist in Shawn Merriman? Check. One of the league's most enigmatic performers in Steven Jackson? Check. A cut from the soundtrack for Last of the Mohicans? Check. What's not to love?

"Fate"

Call me a sucker for being pulled in by a video directed by David Fincher that features a remix of "Ecstasy of Gold" from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but I'm a huge fan of the latest edition of Nike's "Leave Nothing" series.

"Courage"

Due to the affinity that I have for "All These Things I've Done", especially after it was played non-stop during Insanity for Humanity, I liked this spot from the first viewing, but if you're giving me shots of the Serengeti, Lance Armstrong-homage footage, and John McEnroe's frizzy afro? Well, that's solid gold, my friends.

"Candyman"

Perhaps if you've never held chalk, baby powder, or flour in your hands and felt its power, this commercial might not mean anything to you. If you have, though, and know that feeling of pure joy when the flour leaves your hands bound for some poor sap's face, you can relate to LeBron.

As always, dear readers, let me know where I've gone wrong with my picks.

P.S. Any blame for the idea of Top-5 lists should fall on this guy.

When the Morning Light Comes Streaming In I'll Get Up and Do It Again

Congratulations to Nina Patterson for naming "In My Life" by The Beatles as the Thursday Song of the Day. Yes, Nina did not submit her answer in the comments section, but she mentioned it to me in passing before Torts this morning and that's good enough for me.

• This video made my day. Yes, I am borderline obsessive about my pseudo-fraternity, but watching this video reminded me of why I am so proud to be a Gamma Sig. Like Patty V always says, "It's a great day to be a Gamma Sig."



• I'm becoming a big LeBron James fan. You know that you are watching someone special when every one of his team's games feels like an event because you just cannot wait to see what he is going to do next. Plus, he's only 21. 21! I know that we no longer live in an era where the NBA is full of players who conform to the traditional standard of college stars, but LeBron's maturity and leadership at 21 is a lot of fun to watch. Now if we can only get him to stop chewing his nails on the bench.



• The "LeBrons" is going to turn out to be this generation's "Mars Blackmon: It's Gotta Be the Shoes" advertising campaign. You heard it here first.


• What exactly are "The Bee's Knees" and why are they the standard of cool? Can anyone answer this?


• If I ever begin teaching in a business school somewhere, I am going to teach a course on "The Economics of Hotcakes". Think about it, you always hear people say, "(Fill in an item) is selling like hotcakes," but how many actually hotcakes stands do you see? All that the world needs is a man with a vision. I am that man and all I can see are hotcakes.