I Take the Checks and Face the Facts

In an attempt to embrace the all-encompassing commercial morass that is Christmas in the YEAR OF OUR LORD 2008, I'm bringing you my Top 5 Nike commercials OF...THE...PAST...YEAR.

Why aren't there any Reebok commercials on the list?

Well, because if you can name a good Reebok commercial, you're a better man, woman, or child than me.

Why aren't there any Adidas commercials?

Because I'm still angry about World War II.

Why are you asking needless rhetorical questions?

I don't know. Let's move on.

Without further ado...the Top 5, in no particular order.

"Take It to the Next Level"

It's directed by Guy Ritchie, the background music is provided by Eagles of Death Metal, and it features some of the European football clubs that I love to hate the most. Plus, who doesn't love a little projectile vomiting in their commercials?

"Leave Nothing"

A steroid-abusing protagonist in Shawn Merriman? Check. One of the league's most enigmatic performers in Steven Jackson? Check. A cut from the soundtrack for Last of the Mohicans? Check. What's not to love?

"Fate"

Call me a sucker for being pulled in by a video directed by David Fincher that features a remix of "Ecstasy of Gold" from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but I'm a huge fan of the latest edition of Nike's "Leave Nothing" series.

"Courage"

Due to the affinity that I have for "All These Things I've Done", especially after it was played non-stop during Insanity for Humanity, I liked this spot from the first viewing, but if you're giving me shots of the Serengeti, Lance Armstrong-homage footage, and John McEnroe's frizzy afro? Well, that's solid gold, my friends.

"Candyman"

Perhaps if you've never held chalk, baby powder, or flour in your hands and felt its power, this commercial might not mean anything to you. If you have, though, and know that feeling of pure joy when the flour leaves your hands bound for some poor sap's face, you can relate to LeBron.

As always, dear readers, let me know where I've gone wrong with my picks.

P.S. Any blame for the idea of Top-5 lists should fall on this guy.

Blame It On the Truth That Ran Us Down

Congratulations to Mr. Sameer Mohan and Mr. John Petrelli for correctly naming "Box Full of Letters" by Wilco as the Monday Song of the Day. Longtime Song of the Day contestants may be shocked at my new found benevolence in allowing multiple winners, but as long as the people participate in the contest, I will, as Marie Antoinette might say, "Let them eat cake."

The preferred viewing during the last two weeks in the Scott household has been Le Tour De France, or as people in Texas might say, "That Big Bike Race With All Those Spandex Wearing Dudes". Either way, you know what I'm talking about and that's all that matters right now.

Today, as I watched the cyclists gut through multiple 2000 meter climbs, I thought about the magnitude of Lance Armstrong's achievement in winning 7 consecutive Tours between 1999 and 2005. Due to the unfortunate profusion of doping scandals in cycling's recent past there were always whispers and provocative stories in the press regarding Armstrong's possible doping, but as of now, there is nothing that connects the steely Texan with illegal doping.

With that said, I hope what I'm about to put forth never comes to pass, but if it does, it creates an interesting (at least in my mind) parlor game:

Let's say that in 10 years it is revealed that both Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs in their primes.

Which one is the bigger tragedy*?
*Trust me, I use tragedy in the proper context given that we are only talking about sports after all.