Not a Word I Heard Could I Relate, The Story Was Quite Clear

Tying up a few loose ends from this weekend...

Thanks to Tim Henderson for telling me about the following video depicting the emerging sport* of anvil shooting.

The best part of that entire video? "Women ask why would I want to do that? Men say that's pretty cool." That's the essence of the difference between the sexes, right? None of this "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" stuff. Guys just want to see large pieces of metal get blown to Kingdom Come and have no regard for the actual "why?" behind the action.

In other news, the lady friend passed along the following story about David Cross (a.k.a. Dr. Tobias Funke) allegedly dappling in the Columbian nose candy** while at the White House Correspondents' Dinner early this year. If true, I sincerely hope that Cross has footage of the event, if only so that we can see evidence of how Tobias Funke would interact with the Leader of the Free World whilst high as a kite.

If you heard a large amount of shouting coming from the Scott household on Sunday afternoon (I traveled home for a friend's wedding), it was because we witnessed another triumph of Good over Evil in this world as Liverpool defeated the English Evil Empire by the score of 2 to nothing courtesy of goals from Fernando "The Man, the Myth, the Legend" Torres and Davig N'Gog. My Dad gave N'Gog the less than stellar nickname of "Pear-head", but don't worry, David, I don't think the new nick-name will catch on across the pond.

*May not actually be an emerging sport.

**Not recommended for actual use by children...or anyone who might older than a child.

Get Sick, Get Well, Hang Around an Ink Well

Ol' Bruce played a pretty darn good version of "10th Avenue Freeze Out" tonight at halftime of some football game in Tampa Bay, but that's not the first time he's done that.

As entertaining as the Fitzgerald-Holmes touchdown trade-off was, I'm still going with this as the most exciting sports-related moment of the day.

Fernando Torres, spreading the Spanish language all over Northwest England.

We Used to Shake It Up in Shaker Heights

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

Quick question: When historians in 2509 look back at Bon Jovi videos from the 80's (what else will they have to do?), will they think that lead singers of hair bands fashioned their coiffures in a bizarre tribute to tribal headdresses?

Will they believe Jon Bon Jovi or Axl Rose was once our tribal leader?

One can only hope.

Speaking of the 80's...do you want another reason to dislike Manchester United and Portugal winger, and recently named FIFA World Player of the Year, Cristiano Ronaldo (in the center of the photo below)?

Of course you do.

Just let him know that the Members Only jacket he proudly wore on Monday might have also been spotted in the Bon Jovi "Wanted Dead or Alive" video.

Is this just a bitter rant because I thought Torres should have won?

Well, I think we all know the answer to that.

The Street Sounds Like a Symphony

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Rockin' the Suburbs" by Ben Folds as the Song of the Day for way, way back on Thursday, December 18, 2008. John, I'm sorry that I took so long in withholding your accolades, but you're a Chelsea supporter, and I can't really be expected to do you any favors.

Much like Fernando Torres on Saturday, I'm slowly working my way back into playing shape after the Christmas/New Year's blogging abyss.

Even though it's January 5, and even though I'm not normally a New Year's Resolution-type guy, I'm going to throw out a resolution to you, my dear readers, so that I will be held accountable in my pursuit of excellence this year.

What is that resolution?

Despite the fact that I have no guitar-playing skills whatsoever, I'm going to learn a little trick with that instrument that makes the ladies swoon. No, I'm not actually going to develop any particular skill playing the guitar. I'm just going to perfect the move that The Hold Steady guitarist Tad Kubler throws down at the 5:38 mark in this performance of "Most People are DJs".

Wish me luck, and take pity on the numerous guitars I will surely destroy in pursuit of my goal.

Steady as a River Rolls

Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson for correctly naming "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen as the Tuesday Song of the Day. Dan, I'll have to look into that Born to Run 30th Anniversary Box Set, because if there's one thing that I've found with Bruce and the E Street Band, if it sounds good in the studio, it's going to sound even better live.

There's always that moment in a season for every team when the choice must be made between mediocrity and a chance at greatness. Not to make too much out of a 4-2 victory at Reading in the 3rd round of the Carling Cup, but yesterday's performance was perhaps the most inspired I've seen from the Reds since their win against Chelsea in last year's Champions League semifinals. Fernando Torres' hat-trick again raised his status as the striking threat that Liverpool have lacked since Robbie Fowler was in his heyday.

Reading 2-4 Liverpool League Cup - Toress Hattrick
Uploaded by SoccerVDO

I don't know if the choice to move towards greatness was completed last night at the Madejski Stadium in Reading, but it appears that the Reds are not going to be satisfied with another finish behind Arsenal, Chelsea, and Manchester United. It's going to be a fun ride.