Boiling Heat, Summer Stench, 'Neath the Black the Sky Looks Dead

If this was a sports movie, and it sure felt like one for the first 46 minutes yesterday, it played to a conventional script for those who love Sisphyean futility.

The plucky underdogs stepped out onto the field with a team that many expected to embarrass them (just as the Brazilians had done to the U.S. only 10 days before by a 3-0 scoreline), but through a combination of opportunistic scoring by Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan in what were really the only two clear cut U.S. chances in the first half and bend but don't break defense led by Onyewu, DeMerit, and the stellar goalkeeping of Tim Howard, the U.S. of A. went into the break yesterday leading the legendary Samba Kings of Brazil, the only nation to have won the World Cup 5 times, by a 2-0 score.
The entire complexion of the match changed mere seconds after the teams had returned for the second half, however, as Brazilian striker Luis Fabiano snapped a left-footed shot past Howard in the 46th minute to bring the favorites within a single goal which seemed not to be a possibility but an eventuality.

It's hard to accurately describe that feeling that arises when you realize that something is inevitable, but from the moment that Fabiano scored, it was obvious to anyone watching the match that the Red, White, and Blue were already dead in the water.

When the tying goal came 28 minutes later, via Fabiano once again, one of the guys I was exchanging emails with as I watched the match summed up the fate of the U.S. in four words "Samba Kings will win" and I had no doubt he was right.
I say that you have to love Sisphyean futility to enjoy what happened yesterday if only for the fact that the audience for the Final likely included a large number of non-regular soccer viewers who were tuning in to see the U.S. take on the world's best and when those fans see their national team lose a (for soccer) seemingly insurmountable 2-0 lead, I'm not sure if that does more to help or harm the support of the U.S. Men's team in advance of next year's World Cup.

The angel on my shoulder tells me that the mere fact that the U.S. made it to the Final is on-balance positive for soccer in the U.S., but part of me believes that Patton was right when he told us that "America loves a winner".
I do know one thing, however. At least Cris Carpenter is happy.

In the Wink of a Young Girl's Eye

3 Lessons for the Week

1)If you're a celebrity, and during the course of a day you happen to hear that two other celebrities have died, don't fly, don't take any type of prescription medicine, and certainly don't engage in any "recreational chemistry" with the leading Columbian export not associated with Juan Valdez. In fact, you probably just want to, in the words of Ron Burgundy, "lay low for a while".

2)Beginning with the understanding that neither political party can reasonably claim to be THE only party of "family values", I'm pretty sure that if the G.O.P. wants to continue to make that claim in the 2010 and 2012 elections, they probably need to make sure that they inform some of their more prominent leaders that monogamy is usually one of those things that people usually refer to when they throw around the phrase "family values".

I'm a life-long conservative, but there have been a number of points in the last 9 years that I've tried to explain to people that you can be conservative while also daily loathing what the Republican party has become. I'm not sure what the lowest historical ebb is for the Republican party, but the current edition has to come pretty darn close to that mark.

3) As flawed as sports are, they have this capacity to surprise me that I suppose I will always find appealing. Ever since becoming a devoted soccer fan in the last few years, I've read as much as I could about the sport (big surprise there, huh?) and tried to follow the game with a real desire to understand its appeal on a global level.

With that said, in the run-up to last Wednesday's match between the U.S.A. and Spain down in South Africa, I must admit that found myself more interested in a Spanish victory, if only because the Spanish team features a number of Liverpool players that I follow on a much more frequent basis than anyone on the U.S. squad. In spite of that Benedict Arnold predisposition, and in spite my large doubts on the chances of the men in the Red, White, and Blue, I must say that I was quite pleased to see the response they delivered on a cold night in Bloemfontein.

On Sunday, since my Mom will be in town, I don't think I'll be able to watch the Final between the U.S. and Brazil, but given the very positive coverage that Wednesday's victory is receiving in the media, this Sunday's match does feel like a building block towards a more substantial footing for U.S. Soccer in the approach to next year's World Cup in South Africa.

Don't Wanna See No Blood, Don't Be a Macho Man

I'm sure the BLS powers-that-be will eventually have this piece of hilarity erased from the interwebs, but this, my friends, is just one of the many reasons that I love Wikipedia:

(From the Wikipedia article for Baylor Law School)

Nationally Ranked Advocacy Program

Taught by the Devil himself, the bedrock of Baylor’s nationally ranked advocacy program is the third-year Practice Court Program, a six-month course required for all third-year students.

Procedure, evidence, and advocacy are the tools of the trial lawyer, and the Practice Court Program is an over-intensive study of these essentials. So essential that Baylor Law is the only school in the country with this program.

Students try multiple lawsuits from beginning to end, ensuring that when they graduate, if they ever make it through this hellish program, they are able to hit the ground running.

My friends, this is what happens in a world where Wikipedia is accessible to a disgruntled current (or former) P.C. student.

I, for one, think such a world is quite enjoyable.

I Am Not the Actor, This Can't Be the Scene

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

As many of you know, or will learn, the U.S. Men's National Team pulled off quite the upset today in South Africa with a 2-0 victory over the current #1 national team in the world, Spain, or as some like to call them "La Furia Roja". Let it never be said that Running Down a Dream does not try to reach a multi-cultural audience.
Courtesy of goals from Jozy Altidore and East Texas-native Clint Dempsey, the Red, White, and Blue will face either Brazil or host South Africa in the Confederations Cup Final on Sunday in Johannesburg.

If they do face the Brazilians, the U.S. will obviously remember the 3-0 pasting given to them by the Samba Kings last Wednesday, but for a team that just snapped Spain's world-record 35 game international unbeaten streak, it seems that, as the gentlemen from The Lonely Island know, Kevin Garnett was right.

Anything's possible.

If the Dam Breaks Open Many Years Too Soon

It's practice problems like the following one that make studying for the bar exam tolerable.

(Feel free to submit your own answers in the comments.)

A law enforcement officer was transporting a prisoner on a plane to testify in a criminal case. Unknown to those on the plane, an assassin hired to kill the prisoner had bribed an airport baggage handler to sneak a timed-release crate of poisonous snakes into the cargo hold of the plane.

Once the crate was triggered to open, the snakes were able to slither into the passenger compartment through gaps in the conduits between the cargo hold and the passenger compartment. In the ensuing panic caused by the snakes, the officer was struck in the head by a fire extinguisher that another passenger threw at a snake, and suffered a severe concussion.

The officer filed suit against numerous parties, including the person who designed the conduit system on that type of plane. At trial, evidence established that the design for the conduit system that he used had been rejected in the industry because of the danger of pressure loss between the cargo hold and the passenger compartment. An industry-approved design that the designer could have used would have kept the snakes from getting into the passenger compartment of the plane.

As between the officer and the designer, which party is likely to prevail?

A) The officer, because the designer is strictly liable for designing the conduit system of the plane.

B) The officer, because of the high degree of care owed to passengers of a common carrier.

C) The designer, because the assassin's actions were an unforeseeable intervening force.

D) The designer, because the officer was injured by another passenger rather than a snake.

Any requests for assistance should be directed to the man pictured below:

Two TV Sets and Two Cadillac Cars, You Know It Ain't Gonna Help Me At All

This is what we get with a culture raised on the combined diet of quick cuts of Sesame Street, Nintendo, and the internet.

Mr. Brotherton, the consultant, wrote in an e-mail message that it was customary now for professionals to lay BlackBerrys or iPhones on a conference table before a meeting — like gunfighters placing their Colt revolvers on the card tables in a saloon. “It’s a not-so-subtle way of signaling ‘I’m connected. I’m busy. I’m important. And if this meeting doesn’t hold my interest, I’ve got 10 other things I can do instead.’ ”

Don't get me wrong, though. I know that in a few months, I'm going to be handed a Blackberry during my initial days on the job and from there on out it is going to be a constant source of information and distraction. It just seems that we've lost something when we adopt the "entertain me or else" mindset that seems so prevalent in the continued upheaval of the technological age.

Current Reading
An Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy 1917-1963 by Robert Dallek

I'm Going Down to the Central Part of Town

As part of my ongoing quest to fully elucidate my reasons for continuing to support the Cowboys and Rangers despite the fact that I now live in a city that is home to teams in each of those respective sports, more particularly the Texans and the Astros, I submit the following argument from Mr. Will Leitch.

From pg. 236 of God Save the Fan...

It's a full-time position, rooting for a football team [baseball team, jai-alai team, curling team, nursing home shuffleboard team, etc.]...so how am I just supposed to say, "All right, yesterday I cared about these players, but now I care about these"? If something as silly as geography guides your rooting interests, isn't it wishy-washy to move your loyalty around just because someone realized the franchise could make more money in Boise rather than Topeka? Yes, it's a corporation you're rooting for, but they're your corporation. There's nothing rational about it; being a sports fan never has anything to do with being rational.


[Leitch is from central Illinois and grew up as a fan of the St. Louis football Cardinals who now play in Arizona] But what about the St. Louis Rams, you ask? Yeah, what about them? The Rams came to St. Louis in 1995. I simply did not understand why St. Louis fans transferred their loyalty. Sure, owner Bill Bidwill had left St. Louis for what was presumed to be the greener pastures of Tempe. But how does that change my life? Sure, a sports team can offer civic value to a city, but not just out of nowhere. The reason the St. Louis Cardinals are a fixture in the city is because families like mine have patterned their entire [this seems a BIT strong] social structures around them for decades. How can a team just show up and suddenly have devoted fans?

And as for "abandoning" a city...please. On the whole, NFL teams and their fans live in the same city about, oh, twenty-seven days a year. A team and its fans have as much in common as your hand and that vending machine. It's all sentiment. And I don't get to be angry about Bidwill and company leave St. Louis; hell, I don't live there anymore either.

So the only way to be honest with oneself is to pick a team and stick with them. Sure, I wish I had picked a better team, but true fans stay around, no matter what; people from Houston should root for the Titans, people from Charlotte should root for the Hornets, and people from Minnesota should root for the Dallas Stars. Otherwise, you're the one who's disloyal. You're just following whomever it is convenient to follow.

I know that I still fully support the Tyler Wildcatters (yes, Dorothy, they have a Wikipedia page), wherever they might be in the vast universe that is minor league baseball.

[The words in the brackets above are solely those of yours truly]

What is the Central Theme to This Everlasting Spoof?

As I've been notified by notable luminaries of the blogosphere-verse such as this guy and this gentleman (please don't read anything into who received the "gentleman" moniker and who was relegated to the distinction of "this guy". I'm just trying to avoid redundancy), I'm apparently the subject of a Twitter fatwa issued by noted (at least among ACU alums between 2004-2006) Auburn Tiger football supporter Austin Henley.

I am truly flattered by the groundswell of popular support that has arisen in the aftermath of Mr. Henley's decree, but as the lady friend notified me earlier this evening, I have a tendency to be "a bit long winded" (which I'm pretty sure was a euphemistic way of saying that I go on about things a BIT longer than I should sometimes/all the time), and I don't know if I could resign myself to a prison of 140 characters.

Also, and more importantly, if I own a phone that can only receive, but not send, text messages, how in the world am I supposed to tweet? Twit? Twizzle?

I give up.

Current Reading

God Save the Fan by Will Leitch

You Just Want to Be On the Side That's Winning

If you've seen any sports coverage since Monday, you've surely become acquainted (or re-acquainted) with the name of Giuseppe Rossi, the American-Italian striker who was born in Teaneck, New Jersey, yet plays for the Italian Men's National Team based on his dual citizenship.

Rossi tormented his birth nation on Monday with two goals, including a fabulous strike from 25-30 yards out that arced past a helpless Tim Howard into the upper left corner of the American goal.

In the aftermath of the match, there has been the usual banter about whether we should allow athletes born in America to play for other nations, even if those athletes do possess dual citizenship based on the nationalization status of their parents at the time of their birth. I don't fault Rossi for choosing to play with one of the better national teams in the world (even though they lost today to Egypt 1-0), especially since former U.S. National Team manager Bruce Arena went on record as saying that "he wasn't going to chase around some teenager" regarding Rossi's decision to play for his parents' homeland.

I say all that to say this: I may not fault Rossi for his decision, but there are others out there among the American soccer fanbase who feel a wee bit different. The shirt you see below is what happens when rabid soccer fandom meets creative graphic design.

Giuseppe, don't take the "Judas" tag too hard, though. It was placed on a guy some people used to know as "Robert Zimmerman", and I think he's done okay for himself.

Displayers of Affection and All Good Intentions

Congratulations to Mr. Joseph R. Halbert for correctly naming "Just Another Girl" by Pete Yorn as the Tuesday Song of the Day.

Despite setting the record on Wednesday for the games caught in the major leagues, I'm pretty sure Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez's defining career achievement will be the fact that he is the only baseball player my entire family can actually identify.
Well, besides Nolan Ryan, but I'm pretty sure Texans now come out of the womb assuring people that they were there to witness The Ryan Express beat the living daylights out of Robin Ventura, even if they were born in 2007.

I Could Never See You Depart Us

The Lone Star State will always hold a dear, dear place in my heart, but if there's anything I've learned in the past twelve months, it's that special things tend to happen in the 16th state to enter this glorious Union, Tennessee.

This past Sunday night, on a farm outside of Manchester, TN, two of my favorite musical worlds collided when Bruce Springsteen joined Phish for a 3-song sit-in as Phish closed out the 2009 edition of Bonnaroo.
The first song of the collaboration was a 10-minute cover of Wilson Pickett's "Mustang Sally" with Bruce on vocals followed by two songs from Springsteen's 1984*-album "Born in the U.S.A.", "Bobby Jean" and the always enjoyable "Glory Days".

Here's video from "Mustang Sally":

Here's great footage of "Glory Days", which Trey absolutely destroys, but then again, what else did you expect from THE MASTER?

*1984: Good year. Well, except for the whole George Orwell thing, but I digress.

Standing on the Corner, Suitcase in My Hand

This morning I woke up and felt a little (just a little) like George H.W. Bush on the morning of November 10, 1989.

Let me explain...

On the morning of 11/10/89, my fellow Houstonian awoke to find that his largest rival, the U.S.S.R., had allowed one of its greatest symbols, the Berlin Wall, to simply be cast away to the pages of history.

This morning I awoke to find that one of the Evil Empires, the English version to be particular, had allowed one of their greatest symbols, Cristiano Ronaldo, to simply be cast away to the Iberian Peninsula...for 80 MILLION POUNDS or $131.6 MILLION DOLLARS.

And all of this comes in the same week as Real Madrid plunked down a cool 56 million pounds or $92 million dollars for the Brazilian maestro known as Kaka. Yes, I know his name sounds like the Spanish word for "poop". Laugh it up, jokey jokemakers.

Remember this as well: That's the amount Real Madrid paid to Manchester United (for Ronaldo) and AC Milan (for Kaka) simply to acquire their rights. That's not even the beginning of the amount that the club will have to shell out for each player's salary. I'm not sure what Real Madrid's financial secrets are, but unless they are secretly funding all of this with Monopoly money and old gift certificates, their business plan might be worth emulating.

Anywho...just as George H.W. Bush must have felt a tremendous amount of joy in seeing his rival lose a vital cog in their machine, I'm sure he also felt a small twinge of pain for the loss of something that he loved to despise.

While I'm certainly thrilled at the departure of Ronaldo to the Spanish capital and what it will mean for Liverpool's title chances next year, I'm also going to admit that I might miss that gelled-up Portuguese ne'er do well. If only because it doesn't feel nearly as good to hate Wayne Rooney.
Oh well.

All the Poets They Studied Rules of Verse

Given that this decade (whatever you want to call it) is churning towards its conclusion, and the high probability that this decade will be prospectively defined by what took place on Sept. 11th, I've tried to read whatever I could get my hands on regarding the events leading up to Sept.11th as well as the events that have spiraled out of its aftermath.

Based on that reading, here's some recommendations for anyone who wants to do the same...

• The Looming Tower: Al Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 by Lawrence Wright
• Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone by Rajiv Chandrasekaran
• Against All Enemies: Inside America's War on Terror by Richard Clarke
• The Forever War by Dexter Filkins
• Chain of Command: The Road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib by Seymour Hersh
• Rise of the Vulcans: The History of Bush's War Cabinet by James Mann
• The Assassins' Gate: America in Iraq by George Packer
• Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq by Thomas E. Ricks
• The One Percent Doctrine: Deep Inside America's Pursuit of Its Enemies Since 9/11 by Ron Suskind
• At the Center of the Storm: My Years at the C.I.A. by George Tenet
• Plan of Attack by Bob Woodward
• Generation Kill: Devil Dogs, Iceman, Captain America, and the New Face of American War by Evan Wright
• I'm currently making my way through Steve Coll's Ghost Wars right now, and it probably makes the Top 4 on this list along with The Looming Tower, The Assassins' Gate, and The Forever War.

So now I ask you, dear readers, what is my list missing?

Night Falling on the City, Sparkling Red and Gold

If one of the greatest benefits of the human experience is that little moment where something quite unexpected happens and causes you to smile, such a moment occurred this afternoon.

While working out in the apartment complex's on-site facility, I glanced up at the television just in time to have ESPN's bottom line inform me that, and I quote, "Ochocinco reports to OTAs, expects to practice."

Then, and only then, did I remember: "Ah, yes. Only in 21st century American sports could an athlete legally change his surname from 'Johnson' to 'Ochocinco.'"

What a world, folks. What a world.

We're Threading Hope Like Fire

"Only in America, ladies and gentlemen. Only in America."

The following has absolutely nothing to do with A) Don King or B) boxing but who doesn't love Don King in a sequined denim jacket that resembles the American flag?

I quote the most well (or worst) coiffed man in boxing in response to the following paragraph in ESPN's game report for last night's World Cup qualifying match between the United States and Honduras, which the U.S. by a score of 2-1, by the way.

A crowd of 55,647 attended the first-ever qualifier at Soldier Field, site of the 1994 World Cup opener. While the game was played on American soil, the dominant support was for Honduras, a Central American nation of about 7.6 million. Fans in blue and white appeared to outnumber red-clad American supporters by a 4-to-1 margin, and in the final minutes some fans threw a few cups filled with liquid at Howard.

"It's just the way it is," Dempsey said. "Maybe one day we'll have more U.S. fans."

Only in America, folks. Only in America.

A quick consultation of Google Maps for directions between Chicago and Tegucigalpa reveals the following phrase: "We could not calculate directions between Chicago, IL and Tegucigalpa, Honduras."

I'll repeat that: Google Maps could not even calculate the directions between Chicago and Honduras and their fans outnumbered U.S. supporters by an estimate of 4 to 1.

A few points before we move on, though:

• I know American people don't really dig the whole "soccer" thing.
• I know that the vast majority of the Hondurans at Soldier Field last night were probably naturalized Americans who have Honduran heritage.
• I hate to engage in stereotypes here, but I feel safe in saying that people from Latin American nations care a wee bit more about soccer than Americans do.

With all that said, my goodness folks. That paragraph is pretty depressing to read. I'm sure that Jig or Lance could regale you with stories of feeling outnumbered by supporters of the Mexican men's national team when they went to watch a friendly between the U.S. and Mexico here in Houston about two years ago, but a 4 to 1 margin screams of two things: 1. apathy and 2. a lack of national support that probably means the U.S. won't be winning the World Cup between now and, oh say, THE END OF TIME.

I cannot imagine a similar scenario taking place in another country, even if it is a sport that the U.S. dominates on the world stage. If the "Redeem Team" from the Beijing Games were to travel anywhere else in the world to play in an Olympics qualifying match, I'm going to venture a rough guess that the crowd in the arena would not be, oh, 4 Americans for every German or Italian or Ghanian or Australian.

Again, these could be the rantings of someone who has drank of the soccer kool-aid to a degree that would make Jim Jones proud (too soon? Probably not.), but I have a feeling that Don King would agree with me when I say that things like this could happen "only in America."

I Ain't Seen a Sign of My Heroes

Current Reading
Ghost Wars: The Secret History of the CIA, Afghanistan, and Bin Laden, From the Soviet Invasion to September 10, 2001 by Steve Coll

Haven't Seen Quite Enough of the World

The good folks over at Deadspin had a post on Wednesday regarding Sports Illustrated's rather frequent use of the moniker "Chosen One" when describing various athletic prodigies. In fact, SI has used the term in reference to no less than 52 different athletes since 1982.

Some of those who have received the SI anointing fared quite well after being bestowed with such a lofty title (LeBron, Tim Tebow, and Tiger Woods among others), but others have not exactly lived up to their advance billing. I consider myself a pretty devoted sports fan, but even I have absolutlely no idea who Jack Keefe, Livingston Bramble, and Kyle Macy are.

The latest SI Golden Child is a 16 year old baseball player from Las Vegas High named Bryce Harper. Much like other adolescent wunderkinds, Harper's legend is supplemented by tales of mammoth home-runs, carefully crafted YouTube highlight videos, and an already adoring fanbase eager to spread his gospel. From everything I've read and seen, it looks like the kid is going to be a phenomenal player, but even in the midst of its desire to mock SI, I think Deadspin stumbled on to something that is worth discussing.

In the age of the internet, speed is king. Sure, accuracy is valued, but if you're the first person out with a story, you can afford to play a little faster and looser with the facts than other folks, because as I learned in Practice Court, the concepts of primacy and recency matter. Human beings take stock in things that they hear first and things that they hear last. Everything in the middle may be one giant blur, but if you leave people with a memorable opening and closing, you have a much better chance of having your information stick in the minds of your listeners than if you were only able to speak second or in the penultimate slot.

In the rush to annoint the next "Chosen One", the next big thing, or the next big band, prognosticators often fall prey to the same dangerous allure of speed. It's always a fickle proposition predicting the future, but I do wonder if we've lost something important when we value primacy over depth of analysis, potential over production, and hype over substance.

But I Am In the Water As Far As I Can See

Congratulations to Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

Even though they are still in their embryonic stages, I'm glad to see that Hitler Hairdo is finally getting some nationwidepress...but still managing to alienate one of their largest influences.

Although they admit the Dayton-area group may have taken its name from a line in "Karma Police," the members of Radiohead held a press conference in Ohio Monday to dismiss allegations that they played any role in helping to form the musical style of local band Hitler Hairdo.

"Radiohead Denies Influencing Local Band"--The Onion

Don't worry, guys.

I'm pretty sure Thom Yorke doesn't even like his own mother.

Oh, Life is Bigger, It's Bigger Than You

Congratulations to Mr. Joey Halbert for correctly naming "Lift" by Flickerstick as the Tuesday Song of the Day. I must admit, my choice of "Lift" was inspired by Lance's post last Friday, which may be the first blog post to ever combine references to Tecmo Bowl, R.B.I. Baseball, and Lady GaGa. Hopefully it will also be the last, because Lady GaGa needs to be sent to Gitmo, and as far as I know they don't have recording studios there, but I digress.

I may not be a fan of the Boston Red Sox, but when Phish plays the hallowed confines of Fenway Park, you just know that combination is going to present some outstanding photo opportunities as evidenced below:

Photo:© C. Taylor Crothers

Head on over to Phish's "On the Road" section at Flickr to see the rest of the great Fenway photos.

There's a New Set of Rules, No More Pain or Confusion

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "Moment of Surrender" by U2 as the Monday Song of the Day.

A little food for thought from God's Name in Vain by Stephen L. Carter this evening...

Yes, religions can and sometimes must be politically active-but they must be extraordinarily cautious about how they do it, because too much politics can destroy them. In particular, electoral politics has been a difficult and often harmful location for religionists to try to make a stand against culture. Possessing an honored voice that sometimes prevails is not the same as regularly exercising actual secular power to tell people, at a point of a gun, what they must do.

Religion, which should be in love with witness and persuasion, has all too often in history allowed itself to be seduced by the lure of temporal power, a passionate but dysfunctional and even immoral love affair that has led to much human misery and has been destructive as well of true faith.

Current Reading
God's Name in Vain: The Wrongs and Rights of Religion in Politics by Stephen L. Carter

I Was Speeding on the Subway Through the Stations of the Cross

After being chastised by some readers (coughtheladyfriendcough), today I'm going to try to avoid passages of text comparing geographic formations to portions of the male anatomy. No guarantees of success, though.

I'm pretty sure that I didn't have "The Phoenix Mercury+Lifelock" in the office pool for "Which American franchise and corporation will be the first to generate mild controversy by agreeing to a jersey sponsorship deal", but if there's anything that I've become desensitized to after watching too much European soccer, it's conspicuous corporate logos on jerseys.

The high point of the story I've linked to, though, is a quote from the W.N.B.A. President, Donna Orender.

“I think the league and all our owners embrace innovation,” Donna Orender, the W.N.B.A. president, said. “We’re constantly looking at ways to showcase the value we bring to our partners."

Actually, Donna, what you're really doing is taking any and all opportunities available to keep your league afloat, but thanks for the euphemism. Hey Donna, I've heard that AIG isn't sponsoring Man. U. anymore. See if they'll sponsor the New York Liberty! General Motors on the jerseys of the Detroit Shock? YES WE CAN.

In fact, if you're awake at 3:00 at some point this summer, and the sonorous voice of Billy Mays is wafting from the warm glow of your television, don't be surprised if ol' Billy is raving that "you, yes YOU, can be the jersey sponsor for a W.N.B.A. franchise if you call within the next 10 minutes."