Men Walkin' Long the Railroad Tracks, Goin' Someplace There's No Goin' Back

Realizing that it has been two LONG, LONG weeks since new words have been written in this space, I realized that I would be doing myself and the rest of this band a disservice if I didn't jump back on the ol' blogging horse* ASAP.

Yesterday was the first pay-day since starting the job, and for someone who has been operating in the student realm for the past twenty years (that's 80% of my life for those of you scoring at home), I almost had the following conversation with the person handing me my check:

Me: So, you mean I can keep this?

Co-Worker: Yes.

Me: And if I take it to a bank, they'll make my account a bigger number than it is right now?

Co-Worker: Yes.

Me: And there will be more of these in the future?

Co-Worker: Sure, payday is twice a month. The 15th and the 30th.

Me: Only in America. Only in America.

Co-Worker: What does any of this have to do with America? You know people get paid in other countries, right?

Me: I don't know. I've just heard Don King say that a bunch.

*In case you were wondering, that horse's name is Patches. Be sure to feed him some apples when you see him.

Current Reading

Rabbit, Run by John Updike

We're Threading Hope Like Fire

"Only in America, ladies and gentlemen. Only in America."

The following has absolutely nothing to do with A) Don King or B) boxing but who doesn't love Don King in a sequined denim jacket that resembles the American flag?

I quote the most well (or worst) coiffed man in boxing in response to the following paragraph in ESPN's game report for last night's World Cup qualifying match between the United States and Honduras, which the U.S. by a score of 2-1, by the way.

A crowd of 55,647 attended the first-ever qualifier at Soldier Field, site of the 1994 World Cup opener. While the game was played on American soil, the dominant support was for Honduras, a Central American nation of about 7.6 million. Fans in blue and white appeared to outnumber red-clad American supporters by a 4-to-1 margin, and in the final minutes some fans threw a few cups filled with liquid at Howard.

"It's just the way it is," Dempsey said. "Maybe one day we'll have more U.S. fans."

Only in America, folks. Only in America.

A quick consultation of Google Maps for directions between Chicago and Tegucigalpa reveals the following phrase: "We could not calculate directions between Chicago, IL and Tegucigalpa, Honduras."

I'll repeat that: Google Maps could not even calculate the directions between Chicago and Honduras and their fans outnumbered U.S. supporters by an estimate of 4 to 1.

A few points before we move on, though:

• I know American people don't really dig the whole "soccer" thing.
• I know that the vast majority of the Hondurans at Soldier Field last night were probably naturalized Americans who have Honduran heritage.
• I hate to engage in stereotypes here, but I feel safe in saying that people from Latin American nations care a wee bit more about soccer than Americans do.

With all that said, my goodness folks. That paragraph is pretty depressing to read. I'm sure that Jig or Lance could regale you with stories of feeling outnumbered by supporters of the Mexican men's national team when they went to watch a friendly between the U.S. and Mexico here in Houston about two years ago, but a 4 to 1 margin screams of two things: 1. apathy and 2. a lack of national support that probably means the U.S. won't be winning the World Cup between now and, oh say, THE END OF TIME.

I cannot imagine a similar scenario taking place in another country, even if it is a sport that the U.S. dominates on the world stage. If the "Redeem Team" from the Beijing Games were to travel anywhere else in the world to play in an Olympics qualifying match, I'm going to venture a rough guess that the crowd in the arena would not be, oh, 4 Americans for every German or Italian or Ghanian or Australian.

Again, these could be the rantings of someone who has drank of the soccer kool-aid to a degree that would make Jim Jones proud (too soon? Probably not.), but I have a feeling that Don King would agree with me when I say that things like this could happen "only in America."