Picture Yourself in the Living Room

I couldn't help but notice tonight during the Annual Group Squat-Thrust Session that is the State of the Union Address that the Supreme Court justices are all seated in a very prominent position on the floor of the House of Representatives.

They are approximately at the President's 2 o'clock reference point as he looks out upon the audience, but strangely, despite all of the hubbub going on around them, they never stand up, they never applaud, and they remain as dispassionate as Dick Cheney at a Jay-Z concert.
If I were a speechwriter for the President, a Toby Ziegler, if you will, I would do whatever I could to get the justices out of their chairs and on their feet, even if that meant severely pushing the bounds of ethics and reality.

Some examples:

• "Beginning in the 2010-2011 fiscal year, Supreme Court justice salaries will no longer be paid in U.S. Dollars. From that date forward, salaries will paid in gold dubloons. Yes, gold dubloons."
• "Effective immediately, we're doing away with all of that 'Oyez, Oyez, Oyez' mumbo-jumbo when the justices enter the court for oral argument, and each justice will be able to choose his or her own entrance music. A stipend for pyrotechnics and/or a smoke machine will be provided to each justice."
• "I know that some of you on the court are jealous of Chief Justice Roberts because of the notoriety that he receives for being 'the Chief.' Fear not, associate justices. After viewing the Sly Stallone film Over the Top, I'm instituting arm-wrestling matches as a method for allowing associate justices to challenge the chief's place of supremacy on the court."
  

In the Wink of a Young Girl's Eye

3 Lessons for the Week

1)If you're a celebrity, and during the course of a day you happen to hear that two other celebrities have died, don't fly, don't take any type of prescription medicine, and certainly don't engage in any "recreational chemistry" with the leading Columbian export not associated with Juan Valdez. In fact, you probably just want to, in the words of Ron Burgundy, "lay low for a while".

2)Beginning with the understanding that neither political party can reasonably claim to be THE only party of "family values", I'm pretty sure that if the G.O.P. wants to continue to make that claim in the 2010 and 2012 elections, they probably need to make sure that they inform some of their more prominent leaders that monogamy is usually one of those things that people usually refer to when they throw around the phrase "family values".

I'm a life-long conservative, but there have been a number of points in the last 9 years that I've tried to explain to people that you can be conservative while also daily loathing what the Republican party has become. I'm not sure what the lowest historical ebb is for the Republican party, but the current edition has to come pretty darn close to that mark.

3) As flawed as sports are, they have this capacity to surprise me that I suppose I will always find appealing. Ever since becoming a devoted soccer fan in the last few years, I've read as much as I could about the sport (big surprise there, huh?) and tried to follow the game with a real desire to understand its appeal on a global level.

With that said, in the run-up to last Wednesday's match between the U.S.A. and Spain down in South Africa, I must admit that found myself more interested in a Spanish victory, if only because the Spanish team features a number of Liverpool players that I follow on a much more frequent basis than anyone on the U.S. squad. In spite of that Benedict Arnold predisposition, and in spite my large doubts on the chances of the men in the Red, White, and Blue, I must say that I was quite pleased to see the response they delivered on a cold night in Bloemfontein.

On Sunday, since my Mom will be in town, I don't think I'll be able to watch the Final between the U.S. and Brazil, but given the very positive coverage that Wednesday's victory is receiving in the media, this Sunday's match does feel like a building block towards a more substantial footing for U.S. Soccer in the approach to next year's World Cup in South Africa.

To Bear the Weight and Push Into the Sky

Here is the great dilemma, my friends...

As a political conservative who still believes in small, yet energetic, government despite the disturbing largesse of the Republican party in the past eight years, I have a distinct problem with governmental bodies sticking their noses into issues where their oversight is not necessary or welcome.

At the same time, I am a devoted fan of the wonderful world of college football, and the canker-sore that is Bowl Championship Series constantly grates on my joy, my sanity, and my devotion throughout Saturday afternoons and evenings in the fall/winter.

This contradiction comes to a troubling head in the following piece of legislation:

U.S. Representative Joe Barton of the Lone Star State's Sixth Congressional District has sponsored a bill that...

"will prohibit the marketing, promotion, and advertising of a postseason game as a 'national championship' football game, unless it is the result of a playoff system. Violations of the prohibition will be treated as violations of the Federal Trade Commission Act as an unfair or deceptive act or practice."

It might be convenient for cynics to assert that Barton is simply kow-towing to pressure from the Longhorn electorate in his district, but the man is an Aggie. If he's sponsoring this bill, I don't think it's out of any desire to heal wounds for folks down in Austin but out of his greater obligation to a tortured college football fanbase.

I'm not sure how much success the bill will have on its journey through the labyrinth that is the American legislative process, but perhaps Rep. Barton should take some tips from a reputable source:

Coming In a Mess, Going Out In Style

Congratulations to Ms. Stacy Villescas for correctly naming "I Am the Walrus" by the Beatles as the Tuesday Song of the Day. Since I've never indulged in recreational drug-use, I don't think I've been able to fully enjoy "I Am the Walrus", but if you have, the following video is my treat to you.

My favorite story of the day?

This one, courtesy of Politico.com:

Ros-Lehtinen Hangs Up on Obama. Twice.

Is Ileana Ros-Lehtinen a little paranoid?

Maybe.

On Wednesday, the Republican congresswoman got a call from President-elect Barack Obama, didn't believe it was him, and hung up on him. Twice.

According to Ros-Lehtinen's flack Alex Cruz, the congresswoman received the call on her cell phone from a Chicago-based number and an aide informed her that Obama wanted to speak to her. When Obama introduced himself, Ros-Lehtinen cut him off and said, "I'm sorry but I think this is a joke from one of the South Florida radio stations known for these pranks." Then she hung up.

Moments later, Obama tried again, this time through his soon-to-be chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel.

"Ileana, I cannot believe you hung up on the President-Elect," Emanuel said. And then--yes, you know what's coming--she hung up on Emanuel saying she "didn't believe the call was legitimate."

What was not noted in the story is the striking resemblance Ros-Lehtinen bears to a certain Springfield bartender.

It's Bandstand, Disneyland, Growin' Up Fast

"A voter wants a regular guy. The kind of guy that is just going to get really drunk, sneak up behind someone else with a two-by-four, and knock 'em out cold."

Poll: Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With

With Happy Endings, Where Nobody Fights

• A very interesting post by George Packer of The New Yorker on what he describes as "The Kaleidoscopic War" in Iraq. Packer's The Assassins' Gate: America in Iraq remains the best book that I have read so far on our involvement in the Middle East.
• I have yet to take Professional Responsibility from this man, but I'm pretty sure that trying to slip a judge $40,000 for a favorable ruling might fall outside the bounds of ethical behavior.

If You Ever Change Your Mind, About Leavin', Leavin' Me Behind

You might be a news/political junkie if...

While flipping through the channels you notice David Brooks and George F. Will on This Week with George Stephanopoulos and yell, "David Brooks, I love that guy. He's the man!"

Not that I've ever done something like that, though. Goodness knows how embarrassing that would be to admit something like that to a worldwide audience.

It Seems Farther Than Ever Before

Is this what it feels like to be old, out of touch, and in the dark? A few weeks ago my sister mentioned that I should watch a YouTube video portraying my alma mater's President doing the "Soulja Boy" dance.

Shockingly enough, my first thought was not "Dr. Money dancing?!?" but was instead "What in the name of all that is good and holy is Soulja Boy?" Apparently due to the fact that I currently live in the midst of the sensory blackout that is Baylor Law School I have missed out on what will eventually be remembered as the hip-hop answer to the "Macarena".

Thanks to the recent breakthrough on this thing called "The Internet" (thanks Al Gore!), I began to do some research on this phenomenon that is passing into irrelevancy faster than the "Cavemen" series on ABC.

Here's what I have determined at this point: The man behind the Soulja Boy furor, is appropriately named "Soulja Boy Tell 'Em" and has been derided by critics as the "Nickelback" of hip-hop music. With lyrics like "Soulja Boy up in this hoe,Watch Me Crank It,Watch Me Roll, Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy", no one is going to be comparing him to Thomas Pynchon anytime in the near future.

In Mr. Tell 'Em's defense I should say that he is only 17. Six long years ago at 17, I was trying to learn how to drive a standard transmission car, navigating my way through high school economics, and hitting on cheerleaders, so perhaps I'm not in the best position to be calling people out for not reaching the highest levels of achievement.

Despite the fact that more college students can probably do the "Soulja Boy" dance at this point than can tell you who Pervez Musharraf and Benazir Bhutto are, the United States seems to be headed in a good direction. Well, if by good direction I mean the path that the Exxon Valdez took through Prince William Sound. Pop culture, it's fannnnnnnnntastic!

Better Sell It While You Can

"Although I lost by the slimmest margin in presidential election history - only 10 votes - I have chosen not to put the country through another agonizing Supreme Court battle," Colbert said Monday in a statement. "It is time for this nation to heal."

Mr. Colbert, we hardly knew ye.

Also, I'm pretty sure the Comedy Central main switchboard should prepare to receive a barrage of vitriolic calls from Raj Vachhani, who running solely on Red Bull and a dream, holed up in his room and spearheaded the "1,000,000 Strong for Stephen T. Colbert" Facebook group. It looks like he is not going to be getting that time back at any point in the near future.

Is This What They Call Freedom? Is This What You Call Pain?

A day after David Brooks offered his thoughts on the "odyssey" period that occurs between adolescence and adulthood, fellow NY Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman speaks to the same age-range, which he dubs "Generation Q".

Friedman states that Generation Q should ask three questions of every politician who speaks on their campuses:

1. What is your plan for mitigating climate change?
2. What is your plan for reforming social security?
3. What is your plan for dealing with the national budget deficit-so we all won't be working in China in 20 years?

Are these the questions that you would ask a politician who spoke at your campus? Is there anything that is incredibly pressing to our generation that Friedman is missing here?

Things Are Okay With Me These Days

Just a few links on a Monday night:

• "He said that there were no homosexuals in Iran — not one — and that the Nazi slaughter of six million Jews should not be treated as fact, but theory, and therefore open to debate and more research." President Ahmandinejad's visit to Columbia earlier today.
• "Tired of certain people downgrading college athletes who are good people," Gundy said about the newspaper story on Reid. "If you want to comment on his play, comment on his play. But don't comment on something that's outside of his play that is downgrading or belittling to a young man who is trying to do things right and he has to get splashed all over the newspaper in the state of Oklahoma. And on a game day." Mike Gundy delivering the most intense press conference speech since Dennis Green.

• "Ms. Hess’s quandary is becoming more common for many young women. For the first time, women in their 20s who work full time in several American cities — New York, Chicago, Boston and Minneapolis — are earning higher wages than men in the same age range, according to a recent analysis of 2005 census data by Andrew Beveridge, a sociology professor at Queens College in New York."

A Bottle of Red, A Bottle of White, Whatever Kind of Mood You're In Tonight

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he is gone."--The Usual Suspects
At the outset, let me state that I don't think Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the devil, but it's difficult to watch his current escapades and not think he's trying to embark on one of the world's great personality makeovers. Even though you can read the transcript of Pres. Ahmadinejad's interview with Scott Pelley of 60 Minutes, the true nature of the exchange was captured only by watching the Iranian President's mannerisms and facial expressions.

Here's a sample of the interview that aired tonight:

"The American Army has captured Iranian missiles in Iraq. The critical elements of the explosively formed penetrator bombs that are killing so many people are coming from Iran. There's no doubt about that anymore. The denials are no longer credible, sir," Pelley pointed out.

"Very good. If I may. Are you an American politician? Am I to look at you as an American politician or a reporter? This is what the American officials are claiming," Ahmadinejad replied. "If they accuse us 1,000 times, the truth will not change."

"Are you saying that it is not the policy of this government to send weapons into Iraq? Sir, forgive me, you're smiling, but this is a very serious matter to America," Pelley said.

"Well, it's serious for us as well. I daresay it's serious for everyone," Ahmadinejad told Pelley. "It seems to me it's laughable for someone to turn a blind eye to the truth and accuse others. It doesn't help. And the reason that I'm smiling, again, it's because that the picture is so clear. But American officials refuse to see it."

After watching Ahmadinejad's interview while simultaneously working my way through William Manchester's The Last Lion, Winston Spencer Churchill: Alone 1932-1940, it seems many of his methods of dealing with the press and opposing leaders bear a troubling resemblance to the way that Hitler charmed and manipulated the leaders of Europe until he finally was able to wage war on his own terms.

From This Town, We'd Escape

Make fun of me, say what you will, but here's where I'll be at 6 p.m. on Saturday night.

Since the game is taking place at Gerald Ford Stadium on the SMU Campus, I thought the following video was oddly appropriate:

Gerald Ford Dead
Uploaded by Killstain

I Think I Need a Sunrise, I'm Tired of the Sunset

Congratulations to Mr. Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "Sparks" by Coldplay as the Sunday Song of the Day.

If you are a blogger, today just seems like one of those days where you feel obligated to post something simply because of the historical weight of the day itself. As I tried to gather my thoughts I went back and read what I wrote last year, and it seems that the usual method of approaching these mammoth historical events in retrospect is to trot out the whole "I remember where I was when [insert historical event here] happened." Since I did that last year, I feel the need to take a bit of a different tack this time around on the topic.

As I have been working my way through The Last Lion, Winston Spencer Churchill: Alone 1932-1940, I have been struck by a very interesting storyline that William Manchester highlights in describing Churchill's time in the political "wilderness". It seems hard to fathom in the beginning of the 21st century that many of the leading diplomats in Depression-era Europe believed that Nazi Germany, and Hitler in particular, were simply engaging in old-fashioned saber-rattling regarding rearmament after the Treaty of Versailles at the close of World War I, but time and again Manchester points out that Churchill was one of the only voices in England that would not be silenced regarding the potential danger presented by the Third Reich.

I'm not sure if there are any nations that are currently a perfect fit for the role played by Nazi Germany in the 1930's and 40's, but it does make me wonder what my children and grandchildren will regard as obvious in hindsight and marvel that we did not see the potential danger that could have been averted through vigilance.

Did I Drive You Away?

Congratulations to Ms. Kara Buckel for correctly naming "Not For All the Love in the World" by The Thrills as the Friday Song of the Day.

As all of you know, Gen. David Petraeus and U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker, will deliver their joint assessment of the U.S. military operation in the Middle East to Congress tomorrow. With the continual onslaught of information regarding Iraq, I often find it hard to see the forest for the trees, but I found this op-ed piece by Kimberly Kagan in the Wall Street Journal very helpful in seeing the big picture.

Thought of the Day: I wonder if you placed the real John Madden announcing a game alongside Madden '08 with the gamers replicating the plays, could you tell the difference between real Madden and Video Madden?

I'll tell you this, it won't be nearly as difficult as seeing John Madden's eyebrows in HD.

I Got to Stop Wishin', I Got to Go Fishin'

Congratulations to Mr. Dan Carlson for correctly naming "Wagon Wheel" by The Old Crow Medicine Show as the Sunday Song of the Day. Dan, you should note that I'm still allowing you to receive the immense praise and adulation that comes from being a Song of the Day winner despite your blasphemous remarks against the beautiful game in your comment. I am a benevolent blog operator, but my grace is not without its limits.


I'm sure that all of you know by now that U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales officially resigned earlier this morning after communicating his desire to step down to President Bush this past Friday. I was actually caught off-guard by the resignation and thought that if Gonzales was going to resign, he would have done so at an earlier date. It seemed that as the coverage of the Department of Justice's handling of the firing of the 8 U.S. Attorneys began to subside, Gonzales had somehow decided to stick around until the end of President Bush's second term.


Now, the Gonzales resignation falls very closely to that of another key figure in the Bush administration apparatus, Karl Rove, and will probably cause many to wonder what exactly is ahead in the final year of George W. Bush's presidency. Whether you agree or disagree with the Attorney General's record on wiretaps, the aforementioned firing of 8 U.S. Attorneys, or the formulation of the Bush Administration's position on interrogation of enemy combatants, it seemed that public opinion had reached a critical mass that would not allow Gonzales to retain the top position in the D.O.J. without waging a significant public relations campaign to restore his standing as a leader with broad-based support.


As Gonzales steps down, the inquiry now becomes who will replace him as the chief law enforcement officer in the United States. Current Solicitor General Paul Clement will take over as the Temporary Attorney General until the President selects someone to serve in the remaining 17 months of the Bush presidency.










Clement's name has been floated in the permanent successor talks as well as that of Michael Chertoff, the current Secretary of Homeland Security and the former head of the Justice Department's Criminal Division.

I'm not sure if the President is going to pick Chertoff, Clement, or someone else that I have not mentioned, but I do know this: Whomever steps into the role of Attorney General has a tremendous opportunity to make large-scale policy decisions that will affect the long term future of the United States. It may be easy to dismiss the actions of one person in a behemoth of an organization like the United States Department of Justice, but the person who sits in the chair as the Attorney General has more power than almost anyone else in the federal government. (I know that the economics wonks who read this blog will immediately go into a long-winded explanation of the power that the Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, such as Ben Bernanke or Alan Greenspan, wields but I'm sticking to my proverbial guns).

Being a former D.O.J. employee, perhaps I'm a bit biased on this point, but you would probably be shocked at how many ways that the Department of Justice affects your life as an American citizen on a daily basis. Because of that, take a vested interest in the person that President Bush selects to serve as the next Attorney General.

"Whenever the people are well informed, they can be trusted with their own government."--Thomas Jefferson

We Don't Have Money, So We Can't Lose It

Congratulations to my Dad, Danny Scott, for correctly naming "Crazy as a Loon" by John Prine as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

I've returned to Waco after spending the past two days in the Key City visiting some good friends as well as the sister. Not that my sister is not a good friend, but I felt as though she deserved her own categorical mention exclusive of simply the friend category. Sorry for the digression, I'm just trying to maintain familial harmony.

I was as shocked as all of you at the Rangers' mammoth performance on Wednesday night, but I'm pretty sure I was not nearly as fired up about it as Tim Kurkjian. If you want to hear what it sounds like when a middle-aged baseball writer becomes so excited about his subject that he reverts to imitations of a young, gangly teen going through puberty, please, please watch the following video.

Also, I'm pretty sure that for a few of my friends who shall go nameles (coughColeGriffithcough), the following video capturing the fervor of one pro-wrestling fan probably strikes a little bit too close to home:


On a more serious note, Max Boot of the Council on Foreign Relations authored a very interesting Op-Ed piece in today's Wall Street Journal. Mr. Boot explores President Bush's recent speech to the Veterans of Foreign Wars in which the President warned that a withdrawal from Iraq would result in the same problems that engulfed Vietnam after the United States withdrew from Southeast Asia in the early 1970's.

Boys and Girls in America Have Such a Sad Time Together

There's nothing like a small town election to bring about a good conspiracy theory.

I'll set the stage this way: I grew up in the town of Whitehouse, Texas, which is about 7 miles south of Tyler. Whitehouse has about 6,500 residents and is a place that people might describe with a phrase like "It's a good place to raise a family." I'm not sure what that means, but you can usually place it into a conversation without the other person blinking an eye.

I'm currently living with my parents for two months during my internship at the Tyler U.S. Attorney's Office and I had the opportunity to vote today in a Whitehouse bond election concerning a proposed city park that would sit about 150 yards from our front door. As you can guess, the only people in town who really opposed the park are the people who live on our street and the street that runs along the opposite side of the currently undeveloped land.

Thus, I was surprised earlier this week to find a mysterious flyer tucked into our front door. In relevant part, the flyer stated that the City of Whitehouse had the first right of refusal regarding the land, but if the bond election did not pass, HUD was second in line and was planning to build a series of low-income housing projects on the land. There's nothing that can motivate a lethargic conservative electorate like the threat of a HUD development.

Today as we went to the polling station, we saw a woman that my parents go to church with who told us an interesting story. According to this woman, the letter was a fabrication from an unnamed source who really wanted the park to pass and placed the HUD threat in the letter simply to motivate voters who would normally have been opposed to the park. I'm not calling this woman a liar, but I find it pretty unbelievable that someone would take the time to print up hundreds of fraudulent flyers and place them on houses days before the vote simply to sway people's vote over a city park, but crazier things have happened.

Decide what you will, but I want the conspiracy theory to be true. It just wouldn't be a small town election without one.

With Courage in Their Blood and a Fire in Their Stare

Congratulations to Mr. Patrick Robert Vincent for correctly naming "With or Without You" by U2 as the Monday Song of the Day. I've mentioned Patrick here a few times, but if you want to keep up with how he and Noel are doing in Wuhan, China, you can read about it here.

It appears that I sorely underestimated Mitt Romney. I think I was as surprised as everyone else yesterday when the Romney campaign announced that it had raised approximately $20 million dollars in the first quarter of 2007. This figure does match the record-setting $26 million raised by Hillary Clinton, but tops the $15 million raised by Rudy and the $12.5 raised by John McCain. It also warrants mentioning that Romney put $2.35 million of his own money into his campaign coffers.

Now, I should note that fundraising is not necessarily equal to winning voters, but it seems that people would not be giving their money to a candidate unless they believe that he has a sincere chance of winning the White House. In particular, the New York Times' piece that I have linked to attempts to answer the question of whether Romney's surprising showing is simply a case of a few large donors or instead is a broad, grass-roots style effort:

"Unlike the other leading primary campaigns, Mr. Romney’s declined to disclose how many individual donors had contributed or how many small donations it had received. Some campaigns use those measurements to show that they have broad support."

We will have to see how this strong showing affects the rest of Romney's campaign (we are in April 2007 after all), but it seems to have already shown that John McCain's fortunes continue to fall among conservative voters. I know that we are about 10 months from "Super Tuesday", but Sen. McCain has some major ground to make up if he wants a chance to sit in the Oval Office.

In the End They Traded Their Tired Wings for the Resignation that Living Brings

Richard Cohen of the Washington Post has an interesting column today on Barack Obama. In the column, Cohen notes that the Chicago Tribune's extensive research of the figures and stories detailed in Obama's Dreams from My Father revealed that one of the pivotal moments in the memoir may not have happened in quite the manner that Obama explained.

Specifically, Obama recounts the story of seeing an article in Life magazine during the time that he lived in Indonesia as child which described how a black American had attempted to bleach his skin in order to become "white". Obama describes this event as one of his first encounters with the ugly consequences of racism, but as the Tribune's research revealed, no such story ever existed. When asked about this fact, Obama stated that perhaps the magazine was Ebony, but alas, no such article ever appeared in Ebony either.

Now, I'm not going to call Obama a liar. It would be very interesting to sit down with my friends and family and to ask them about their perspectives regarding certain events from my past that I believe I have a total grasp of. I'm sure that there would be certain instances where my recollection of what took place in a given instance would differ from what my sister or friend would recall, but shouldn't there be a higher standard when you are putting something into print?

It would seem that if you are going to put a story, which is portrayed as incredibly pivotal to Obama's racial awareness, into your first published work, wouldn't you want to determine whether or not that story had any factual inconsistencies? I agree with Cohen's point that sometimes we reach a point where we believe that something is absolutely true or occurred in exactly the way that we believe it occurred, even if that is simply not the truth. Obama may have dealt with that memory so extensively that he believed that it was the gospel truth and did not give the act of placing the story into his memoir a second thought.

If anything, such a story demonstrates that those who choose to run for President in the United States are consenting to a process that will run through their entire life with a fine-toothed comb. Welcome to the vetting process Senator Obama.