Picture Yourself in the Living Room

I couldn't help but notice tonight during the Annual Group Squat-Thrust Session that is the State of the Union Address that the Supreme Court justices are all seated in a very prominent position on the floor of the House of Representatives.

They are approximately at the President's 2 o'clock reference point as he looks out upon the audience, but strangely, despite all of the hubbub going on around them, they never stand up, they never applaud, and they remain as dispassionate as Dick Cheney at a Jay-Z concert.
If I were a speechwriter for the President, a Toby Ziegler, if you will, I would do whatever I could to get the justices out of their chairs and on their feet, even if that meant severely pushing the bounds of ethics and reality.

Some examples:

• "Beginning in the 2010-2011 fiscal year, Supreme Court justice salaries will no longer be paid in U.S. Dollars. From that date forward, salaries will paid in gold dubloons. Yes, gold dubloons."
• "Effective immediately, we're doing away with all of that 'Oyez, Oyez, Oyez' mumbo-jumbo when the justices enter the court for oral argument, and each justice will be able to choose his or her own entrance music. A stipend for pyrotechnics and/or a smoke machine will be provided to each justice."
• "I know that some of you on the court are jealous of Chief Justice Roberts because of the notoriety that he receives for being 'the Chief.' Fear not, associate justices. After viewing the Sly Stallone film Over the Top, I'm instituting arm-wrestling matches as a method for allowing associate justices to challenge the chief's place of supremacy on the court."