Come and Keep Your Comrade Warm

As noted in yesterday's post, I've recently begun reading Jeffrey Toobin's "The Nine." As I was reading the book, I flipped to the picture section in the middle (don't act like you don't do the same thing), and noticed the following picture.

We all recognize the event as President Bush's introduction of now Chief Justice John Roberts as his choice to succeed the departing Sandra Day O'Connor, but what I found interesting was the caption below the picture, which states:

"President Bush introduces Roberts as his nominee to replace O'Connor on July 19, 2005. To the side are Roberts' wfie, Jane, and daughter, Josephine. His son, Jack, is imitating Spider-Man."

To which I say, "Jack Roberts, that's the worst Spider-Man impression I HAVE EVER SEEN."

If the caption had said that Jack Roberts was imitating the Damon Wayans-version of "The Robot" in Major Payne, I could have accepted that. If it would have said that he was doing the world's worst sleight of hand trick by hiding something in his pocket, I could have accepted that. Do you think David Blaine is going to give you the call-up to the magic big leagues with those kind of bush-league tactics? Not happening.

But an imitation of Spider-Man? No way, young Jack Roberts. Does Spider-Man patrol the mean streets in a seersucker short suit and saddle shoes? No way in Hades, unless he wants to end up on the business end of a swirly.

With that said, I hope you're reading this, Jack. I hope that as we approach the 5-year anniversary of this event this summer, perhaps you've learned your lesson in imitating Peter Parker. There's nothing more embarrassing than kids who can't properly imitate superheroes.