We're Only Several Miles from the Sun

I am beginning to enjoy the time that I have to sit here and write each day more and more. When I look on here and see comments from people like Daniel Carlson, Cody Blair, Melanie Knox, and others that have moved on, I am reminded that sometimes all of our technology can work in powerful ways to keep people connected. There are so many ways that we have allowed technology to erect barriers between us, but if we remember that the benefit does not lie in the technology itself, but in the ability it gives to connect with people, we will be much better off.

I feel as though I am behind on the movie times this year, because I did not have the opportunity to see any of the Best Picture Nominees this year. For those of you who consider yourselves to be movie scholars, please tell me which ones I should make an effort to watch so I am not completely in the dark next time I talk to Eastwood or Scorcese.

Current Listening: Both Days of the 2003 IT Festival courtesy of my good friends Phish.

I was looking at a Rolling Stone the other day during one of my visits to the prestigious "Eagle's Nest" and I was pleased to see that it was the issue with their poll of the Top 500 Songs of all time. The list was as follows:

#5 Respect-Aretha Franklin
#4 What's Going On?- Marvin Gaye
#3 Imagine- John Lennon
#2 (Can't Get No) Satisfaction- The Rolling Stones
#1 Like a Rolling Stone- Bob Dylan

That looks like a great list, but I would have to make some room for "California Love" by Dr. Dre and Tupac. I mean what good is a list like that without the City of Compton?

You and I Will Never Die

Most of you know that I love the television show "The OC." For those of you who choose to mock me openly, I am ok with that, just as long as when you mock me, you also reveal your "guilty pleasure" TV show as well. We're all hiding something that we are afraid to share, and you know you just want to let it out. With all of that said, last night's episode was hands-down the best one of the season. Any episode that opens with Blind Melon's "No Rain" and closes with a fantastic cover of "Champagne Supernova" is destined for greatness.

It seems as though almost everyone I know has been sick at some time in the past 3 weeks or they are sick right now. Some people have just had simple head colds, but others have had some pretty nasty flu symptoms i.e. my Dad, ColeGriff, and the Roo. I know that as soon as I write this I will be stricken with some bizarre sickness that causes my skin to break out into a rash that looks like the Virgin Mary, or maybe that could just be a grilled cheese sandwich. I digress.

I really appreciate everyone's comments on the Top 10 Movie list except for Jim Kizer's. "Heavyweights", Jim? Really? I thought Ben Stiller did the crazy, over the top fitness guru better the second time in "Dodgeball."

The list for today is Top 5 Actors:

• Tom Hanks
• Brad Pitt
• Harrison Ford
• Edward Norton
• Kevin Spacey

Run with it folks.

I've Been the Needle and the Thread

The college student's dream is less than two weeks away. No, not free pizza until graduation. Spring Break. Some of my friends are headed to Boston, some to San Francisco, and some are headed to that exotic locale of Manchester, Connecticut, but I am headed down south.

Since I started working at Trek, I have always wanted to take a solo backpacking trip, and since there is way too much snow on the ground in Colorado to go there, I am going to Big Bend for Spring Break. Of course, this drives my Mom crazy. One of the books that she bought my Dad for Christmas this year was Aron Ralston's autobiography. For those of you who do not know Aron's story, he was the guy who went canyoneering in Utah alone in the Spring of 2003. He was working his way down a slot canyon when he dislodged an 800 lb. boulder that came down on his arm and wedged it against the canyon wall. Faced with quite a dilemma, Aron ultimately cut off the lower portion of his arm with his pocket-knife. When I tell my parents about my desire to take a solo trip, all my Mom can think of is me coming back with less limbs than when I left.

I have managed to quiet their fears by telling them that I will not make the same big mistake as Aron Ralston: not telling anyone where I am going, but that I will also talk to the Park Rangers at Big Bend, so they will know my proposed intinerary. I'll be sure to also post that phone number on here, so that if I do not come back at the appointed date, you guys can raise the search and rescue team.

Current Listening: Songs about Jane by Maroon 5

I liked the controversy that my list of the most influential albums in the 90's raised last week, so I will try to make that a regular feature. Today, I will start off with an easy one: Top 10 Movies. These are my own personal choices and not necessarily the most influential of a certain time period. Anyway, here goes:

• Braveheart
• Gladiator
• The Shawshank Redemption
• Saving Private Ryan
• Band of Brothers (I know, it's a miniseries, but it is too good to leave off)
• Dead Poets Society
• Fight Club
• The Natural
• The Sandlot
• Groundhog Day

What are your picks? Feel free to mock some of my choices or to cheer them.

Limb by Limb

Two weeks ago in my Business and Professional Communication class, I gave a speech about the terrible events that have been taking place in Sudan during the last few years, and talked about the potential responses of the international community to these terrible events that we said we would not ignore again.

The problem is when you talk about these things people say "Wow, that's awful" and then they go right back to watching VH1 or eating their dinner. It is almost as if we revert back to the stage of infancy where we have not yet learned object permanency. If I do not see or hear about it anymore, then it is not there.

I have not had the opportunity yet to see "Hotel Rwanda" but I think I am going to try to go this weekend. I have heard that the film is incredibly powerful and striking, and perhaps it will do something to open the eyes of people around the world to the terrible realities that exist around us. Nicolas Kristof of the NY Times, whom I have written about before here, wrote an Op-Ed piece that powerfully speaks to the impact of pictures on people in inciting them to action in a situation. You can read his Op-Ed here.

I would also like to echo was Mr. Kristof says in his article about writing to your congressional representative or Senator about the U.S. response to these terrible atrocities.

John Cornyn: 517 Hart Senate Office Bldg.Washington, DC 20510
Tel: 202-224-2934
Fax: 202-228-2856

Kay Bailey Hutchison: 284 Russell Senate Office BuildingWashington, DC 20510-4304
Tel: 202-224-5922,
Fax:202-224-0776

If you are not from Texas, you can find the contact information from your Senator by going here.

Everything is Burning Up Inside Me

The apocalypse is nigh my friends. Lectureship was taking place at ACU and it was sunny with highs in the upper 70s. I am waiting for the biblical floods, freezing rain, and blizzard conditions to descend any time now upon our unsuspecting heads, but then again we are living in a time where the Red Sox are the World Champions in baseball, so I guess everything that we have always taken for granted has been turned upside down.

Speaking of the Red Sox, I think we are going to try to see them play the Rangers on the weekend of April 29-30. That Friday is the last day of classes at ACU for the Spring Semester, and I think seeing Curt, Manny, and Johnny again will be a great way to finish Junior year up.

I have really started thinking about trying to go to UT for law school. As I have looked at things, and weighed the factors of quality of education, location, tuition, and future opportunities it seems that UT has all of the things that I am looking for. Plus, living in Austin would not be too rough. The one thing that I will have to deal with is something that has been creeping up on me for the last few years. I have never admitted this to anyone besides my sister, but I think that I am a closet Longhorn football fan.

When I was in middle school, and I was friends with Brad, a diehard Aggie fan and current A&M student, I loved the Aggies. I went to numerous games in high school, but since I did not go to A&M, I do not feel a tremendous loyalty to them. My mom's side of the family has strong ties to UT-Austin, and despite my dislike for Mack Brown, I loved players like Major Applewhite, Roy Williams, and Cedric Benson. I could never tell people this because everyone thought I was an Aggie fan, but I think this might be my way of declaring to the world that I enjoy seeing the Horns on a beautiful autumn day in Texas, and if I go to school there I will be a diehard supporter.

For those of you who are shocked to read this, feel free to excoriate me, feel free to call me a sports polygamist, but I just thought that the desires and feelings in my heart should no longer be kept secret.

Tap On My Window, Knock On My Door

Wow, these last few days have been a big, messy, mish-mash, but a big, messy, mish-mash of the best variety. Sing Song was so much fun this year, and if possible, it was sweeter than last year. It was so good to win for someone like Gilbo who was not sure if he even wanted to direct this year, and who had a big letdown with medical school applications, and for guys like Austin Henley, Michael Hunton, and others who had their last go round at this goofy event that captivates us. I always love it when we get up on the stage to sing "We Believe" and there are these guys who are old Gamma Sigs who either come up on the stage to sing with us, or stand on the floor to watch. One of the coolest things about club is having a connection through the generations with men like David Litton, Russell Debenport, and Damon Parker.

Even though time is always tight during Sing Song Weekend, it was really good to spend some time with my parents and to talk with them about what has been going on lately in life. They shamed me enough about the condition of the bathroom that I share with Adam that we cleaned it last night. There is nothing worse than having your parents constantly remind you that you are completely incapable of keeping your bathroom clean.

In other news, after we performed on Saturday night, a bunch of us went over to the campus center to pass the time until we had to come back for the finale, and we ended up watching the Slam Dunk Contest. I have soured on the NBA since my days as the Bulls Super Fan, but the Dunk Contest was pretty impressive. I realize that Chris Andersen was completely incapable of making a dunk in anything less than 12 tries, but Josh Smith and Amare Stoudamire did some sick stuff. Smith's dunk over Kenyon Martin will probably be the inspiration for tons of kids around America hurting the necks of their friends by trying to replicate it.

In closing, thanks to Joey and ColeGriff for sending in their comments and criticisms on the 90's Albums debate. Keep them coming and keep them contentious.

Ask They Took His Soul, They Stole His Pride

I guess some things are not meant to be. Yesterday, I attempted to dye my hair not once, but twice, and both times the mission failed. Before all of the pundits of the perm begin to comment on the next course of action that I should pursue, I simply tell you that we did everything right for the dye that we were working with, and I may just have to face the fact that I have elitist hair that adamantly refuses to change from its beautiful auburn hue to the dark tones of one Danny Zuko.

This is the first morning that I have rolled out of bed, and I feel like a 21 year old again. The quads are free of pain, and I have remembered how to walk normally again. For a few days, I was doing this bizarre stiff-legged shuffle that eschewed bending of the knees because that put too much stress on my upper leg. It is also fun to be able to walk down stairs without fearing the jolt of pain that each one puts through my body. I have a healthy dose of sympathy for people who suffer from vascular diseases that affect your legs or those that are afflicted with arthritis.

Current Listening: "(What's the Story) Morning Glory?" by Oasis.

I actually just bought it the other day, and yes, I am ashamed of myself. We listened to it twice during the trip down to Austin last weekend, and I was captivated again by the unadulterated power and passion of the music that Oasis makes. Adam came into my room the other day as I was listening to "Morning Glory" and I made the bold proclamation that it was one of the best albums of the 90's. He and I had a short discussion and here is the list that we came up with of the 5 Most Influential Albums of the 90's.

(In no order)

• (What's the Story) Morning Glory?- Oasis
• Nevermind- Nirvana
• Ten-Pearl Jam
• Get a Grip- Aerosmith
• Weezer- Weezer

I realize that there may be some distinct disagreements with these choices, but I thought in terms of overall musical influence, these albums shaped what is happening today for better or worse. Feel free to disagree, agree, or call me completely crazy.

Step Outside, Summertime's in Bloom

Lately in Recent Political Theory, we have been reading the writings of Jean-Jacques Rousseau. In his Discourse on Inequality, Rousseau talks about how man in his state of nature is a being full of compassion because he is not consumed with his own self-preservation, but as things like private property and personal wealth evolved, so has the enmity between human beings. Rousseau realized that we could not exactly scrap everything and head back to the Stone Age, so he devised what he called the Social Contract and proposed the idea of the General Will as a guiding force in societal decisions.

This discussion in class caused me to start thinking about how much of society walks around living their lives, but do we really examine why we make the decisions that we make? Do we understand our own value and belief system and what influence that has on the things that we pursue and the things that we glorify? Or all too often, do we make decisions because that is what we see others around us doing, and we do not pay a second thought to what those decisions say about our core values or what we believe this life to be all about.

I have written before about a deconstruction of reality and how that can be a valuable step for someone to take when they are facing crisis or a large decision. Sometimes you have to step back and think about why you do the things that you do and what are truly the things worth selling yourself for in this life.

Everyone gives themselves to something, what is it going to be for you?

Ask Her If She Wants to Stay a While

Thanks to a generous gift by Mr. Coleman Greer Griffith, I have started reading the 9/11 commission Report. Surprisingly, it is interesting reading so far. The first portion of the book details the actual events of that horrific day from the hijackers entering the airports, their passage through security checkpoints, and the actual events that transpired on the planes as they were turned in highly explosive guided missiles.

It is amazing to read the accounts of the security personnel at the airports about their interaction with the eventual hijackers. It is hard for me to remember the pre-9/11 security level at airports. I take it for granted that you always had to take off your shoes, and that when I get on a plane, I immediately look around at other people (everyone, not just males with an Arab appearance) and size them up, deciding if I could take them out if the rubber meets the road. The people in the nice white shirts and blue ties with white stripes have always been there checking people with metal detecting wands so that they don't accidentally carry fingernail clippers onto the plane. I can hardly even remember the days when I watched my favorite 24-hour news channel, and that annoying scrolling headline bar at the bottom of the screen did not cause my Dad to tape a piece of construction paper to our TV.

We were probably headed from some kind of non-clandestine conflict with terrorist groups such as Al Qaeda anyway, but 9/11 was the seminal event that turned the national consciousness to the distant reach of Bin Laden's network of terror. It will probably be the day that my children and grandchildren ask me about when I grow old and gray-headed. In much the same way that I talk to my parents about November 22, 1963, my descendants will wonder about the events of September 11, 2001.

Take Me to the Place Where You Go, Where Nobody Knows If It's Night or Day

I have been thinking about the best way to lay the events of yesterday out, and I decided that a chronological time line would probably be the best, but it may not go by time, but my mile markers, because that is the way I lived my life yesterday. Here goes:

Starting Line: One of those moments that you will not forget for the rest of your life. It only took me about 2 minutes to cross the start line after the gun went off, so I was fairly close to the beginning of the pack, but when I looked back there was this sea of people surging up the road like a great wave.

Miles 1-6: It was ridiculously crowded as we ran, and I began to realize that the type of people who usually run marathons are really tightly wound Type-A personalities. People were yelling at each other as we slowed down to grab water and Powerade because it was so congested. Also, around Mile 6 was the first time that I saw the crew of Patrick, Cole, Kizer, Bruner, and Stone. They were on this long stretch of road that was completely lined with people and on the opposite side of the road from the guy in complete Scottish regalia playing the bagpipes.

Miles 7-13.1: This is where it began to thin out, mainly because we got into some hills. As I ran down towards the UT campus around mile 11, I got the best snack of the entire race: Girl Scout Cookies. At that point, I was also trailed by three people wearing Elvis outfits, so everyone yelled, "Go Elvis" just as they ran behind me. The people running the half-marathon turned off just past the UT campus. That was definitely the most depressing point of the race for me. Seeing these people run across their finish line, and know that I was halfway done was a definite "Crossing the Rubicon" moment for me.

Miles 13.2-20: As I ran into downtown Austin, I saw the crew again. I gave them a nice windmill as I ran down towards Congress Street, but little did I know that I was heading for the most monotonous part of the race. At that point, I turned and basically ran down the entire length of 6th Street going west. We had to run down a mile towards a turnaround point that was also downhill, so I knew I would have to run the same stretch of road coming back, but I would have the added bonus of running uphill. As I ran along S. 1st Street through a park near Austin High School, the first cramp hit me in the back of the left quad, but I was quickly able to push it off, and head back into downtown, and Mile 20. That is where I saw the crew again, and had the first sighting of Aaron, Joey, Angela, and Joey's parents. Also at this point, Cole and Patrick ran out onto the course to run the last 6.2 miles with me.

Miles 21-26.2: This is where it got really hard. You always hear people talk about "The Wall" but you have no idea what they are talking about until it happens to you. It got to the point where I could run a mile then I had to walk about half a mile. We ran through a neighborhood on the east side of 35 and then through a park and across Longhorn Dam. By the time that we crossed Longhorn Dam, I knew that I had a straight shot to the finish, but the cramps were still taking a heavy toll. Patrick and Cole were amazing with encouragement, and they ran with me to the 26 mile mark. At that point, they cut off the course and I could see the finish line. I ran through the chute that had been fenced near the finish line with about all that I had left.

As soon as I crossed the finish line, I saw my Mom, Aunt Nancy, Uncle Jim, and my cousin Suzanne off to the right. As I was walking over towards them, a race volunteer placed a medal around my neck and gave me a Powerade. About all that I could think to say to Mom was "I love you." Everything was starting to swim, and I suddenly felt very weak. I walked through the tented areas and I was handed a pack of bagels to begin eating. Everyone came over to talk, but I was already beginning to cramp again. The race ended on the south side of Town Lake, and our hotel was on the north side, so we had to cross a pedestrian bridge to get back across. As soon as I began to walk up the stairs, a sharp pain shot through my calf. I looked down and it was this rock-hard, pulsating knot of muscle. I had to walk up the stairs like a 75 year old man.

After I got back to the hotel, and had an amazing shower, we left to drive back towards Rudy's to meet Joey, Angela, and Aaron, but I did not get out of the hotel parking garage before making my first refund from the stomach. That was to happen three more times during the course of the day, but thankfully my stomach calmed down and I was able to hold my dinner in check.

Since I went on this "Vision Quest" I bet all of you are expecting some deep insight about life, love, and happiness, but the greatest truth that I discovered was one that I already knew. I am surrounded with the most incredible people, and their love and support is beyond anything that I could ever want or deserve.

Here is the thank-you list:

Patrick Vincent-For running with me, but also not letting me quit. I will never forget that.
Cole Griffith-See above reference for Patrick.
Mom-For supporting me in all these crazy ventures that I have done throughout my life.
Dad-For always being with me and teaching me to push my limits and never be satisfied
Joey- For being the first person I met at ACU, and a true friend since that day
Aaron-For driving yesterday, and simply asking if there was anything you could do or get for me
Angela-For giving me a head massage on the drive back, and having the courage to be the only girl on the trip.
Stoner-For taking great pictures during the run yesterday.
Bruner-For getting me to do "The Windmill" at Mile 14 yesterday.
Kizer- For being a great friend since we met at Kadesh in '02, and a great cheering section.
Uncle Jim, Suzanne, and Aunt Nancy-For coming to see my run, and being the source of so many good memories throughout the years.

This might be the longest post I have ever written, and I think that is justified. There will probably be more about the run in subsuquent days, as I discover things that I did not even see yesterday, but this is all for today.

Sleep Now In the Fire

Well, I am back in Abilene safely from the marathon. This weekend was full of good stories, and I will share those with all of you tomorrow when I have more time to write, and after I have had a good night's sleep.

Consequence Is a Bigger Word Than You Think

As I am about to leave to head down to Austin for the marathon, it is difficult not to feel like I am being sent out on some great quest to fell some great beast. Everyone has been offering their support and encouragement and I have received more than a few "Are you crazy?" looks.

I think my favorite comment came from Aaron Winn when he said,"If one of my friends called me up and told me that they wanted to come over and they lived 26 miles away, I would probably not even drive there."

I guess that is the appeal of doing this, kind of a "dream the impossible dream" venture. I will check back in either tomorrow night or Monday morning on how it went. Until then, I've got a long way to run.....

How Far, How Fast, How Long?

I am really starting to get excited about the marathon. I have had so many people ask me about it or encourage me these past few days. It should be a lot of fun to see Kevin Stone and assorted others with crazy messages painted on their chests.

It's funny that sometimes I get on here with absolutely no idea what to write, and something will come to me as I sit here, and other times, like today, there is nothing rolling around in my head that feels incredibly significant. I think that I need this time each day to simply sit down and order my thoughts and to give voice to the things that concern me. If I sit down and write/type I will sometimes be inundated with these incredible thoughts and ideas to share, but other times it seems that I am just detailing the day to day things that I see, think and feel, and that can be special in and of itself many times.

One of the things that has really been troubling me lately has been the documentation of torture and mistreatment of prisoners that has been coming out of our detention facilities in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay. If there ever was an opportunity for Americans to show that these principles that we live by of liberty, justice, due process mean something in the day to day way that we live, this is it.

Instead, there have been far too many cases detailing abuse of prisoners and tactics that seem to toe a line pretty close to torture. I realize that these people that we are dealing with are bent on destroying our way of life, and using themselves as the projectiles at times, but if we are to lead the world, we must hold ourselves to a higher standard. Everyone deserves to be treated with common dignity and decency, even if our worldviews and motives are diametrically opposed. That is the least that we can do. This means giving people food, the opportunity to sleep, and other basic human needs such as shelter. One of the ways that we deter future terrorist actions is to act in such a way that we do not give them more reasons to hate us.

Driving Faster in My Car, Falling Farther From Just What We Are

Today at IJM Chapel, Joey and I had the opportunity to share some of experiences from the conference at Pepperdine last weekend. I really enjoyed what Joey had to say about this feeling of restlessness that comes when you hear or read about human rights abuses or societal injustice. Sometimes the admonition just to pray seems awfully hollow in the face of such darkness. Joey and I have joked around about creating the Vigilante Justice Wing of IJM (along with Sister Mary Ellen Burns, Doug Holladay, and Walter Fauntroy) just so we can get out of some of our anger about this stuff. It seems much more fulfilling that we should be like the Boondock Saints, and go around dealing out justice to some of the people who commit these atrocities, but I think that there are more constructive ways of bringing about "shalom" for all peoples.

One vital way is to recognize the inherent dignity of all people that you meet. If you look at each person and remember that they are a carrier of the divine spark, you will treat them with a certain amount of respect, even if you do not agree with all of their views or opinions. Too many times, we choose to categorize or marginalize people based on our own little code, and we forget to connect with them on a basic level simply becuase of our shared humanity.

The second way is to realize that it is not our job to save the world. Do I say this to say that we do not need to make a difference in people's lives? No, I am just saying that since we live in a fallen world, there will always be pain, disappointment, and fear until Christ returns. We are fighting a guerrilla war for God. One day he will come along, and he will turn on the lights to obliterate the darkness and decay of this earth, and he will set all of the scales even, but until then we are to be witnesses and carriers of light in a dark world. We are to take our lights into the darkest places to show that the smallest amount of light can illuminate and pierce the darkness. We cannot get caught up in the fact that we cannot eliminate all of the injustice in the world, and allow that to stop our mission. What we can do is make a difference in the lives of individuals. On our refrigerator at home there is a quote from Emerson where he says"To know that one life has breathed easier as a result of yours....this is the meaning of success." When we can step past the numbers and stats, and start to see God's work on this earth in terms of names, faces, and stories then we will begin to see the power of God's work through us.

You Used to Say Live and Let Live

Well, I knew this day would come. One of my parents has finally won the Fabulous Blog Title Song Lyric Contest (I know it is a little long and I am looking to streamline it). Today, my Mom correctly named "Live and Let Die" by Paul McCartney and Wings. I don't really think that I can give away anything notable from my childhood because she already has all of that stuff, but I could give her my giant rubber band ball that has been sitting on my desk since I constructed it in high school. Just a thought.....

When You Were Young and Your Heart was an Open Book

If the saying about it being darkest just before the dawn is true, I hope it plays out in this head cold that I have been fighting for the last week and a half. If this were just a regular time of the year, and nothing big were going to happen this weekend, I would not pay it a second thought, but it so happens that I am going to put my body through the wringer this weekend with the marathon. I need to start ingesting Vitamin C by the vat and inhaling Nyquil.

I think that I have made the decision to go to law school again. I realize that my area of interest in the law is pretty limited, but I believe in it so strongly that I am willing to go into school with an already narrowed focus. The passion that I feel when I talk about human rights and social justice far surpasses the excitement that I feel when I talk about any other possible career options. Working for the State Department Office against Human Trafficking, IJM, or the UN Commission on Human Rights would be a dream for me, and I am willing to go to law school to achieve that dream, even if that means that alot of the other options out of law school hold no appeal for me.

This weekend as I began thinking about the future and what it holds for me I thought of some concrete things, but a lot of abstract thoughts also floated around. Here are some:

What are the virtues and qualities that I want to be known for one day?
What is the most important thing that I could communicate to someone else about finding joy in this life?
What are the things that bring me the greatest sense of fulfillment in this life?
What makes me feel whole?
What are the things/people/relationships/ideas that are worth chasing after?

There are many more, but in these five questions, I found a common thread in my thought process. It seemed that the idea of selflessness and self-sacrifice played prominently into each of my responses. I thought of the quote from a young RAF pilot about his service in the battle of Britain. He said, "The universe is so vast and so ageless, that the life of one person can only justified by the measure of their sacrifice." I look at that statement and it sounds good, but it seems to run completely in opposition to all of my desires and urges. I constantly have the need for self-preservation and self-gratification. All of my reason seems to bend me towards doing the things that bring me the most satisfaction and bring me the greatest fulfillment, but then when I think about this idea of self-sacrifice, I cannot rationally justify why I should pursue that kind of life. From somewhere, in a place that I do not fully comprehend, there is this notion that I can only find myself when I completely let go and step out of the way. I don't know how to rationalize or justify that, but those are the times in my life when I have felt whole and I have felt complete.

Feel free to offer your thoughts. This is just the stuff that has been running through my head.

Our Love is All of God's Money

Do you ever have those mornings where you wake up, and somehow you feel more tired than when you went to sleep? This was one of those.

With that said, I would like to share one of the stories from the conference this past weekend that really stuck with me. David Lash spoke at the conference about his work with Bet Tzedek, which means "House of Justice" in Hebrew, in Los Angeles. Bet Tzedek provides legal aid and support to the poor, homeless, and indigent of the LA area. Lash spoke about the fact that he is confronted with the brokenness of our world each day as he walks through Bet Tzedek's waiting room. He sees the broken dreams and lives of people that the world has often forgotten. Often people demonize the law and the work of lawyers as self-seeking and promoting and sometimes it is, but Lash seems something else.

He sees the law as a means of bringing justice to people who have no idea what the word means in their lives. He sees that being an advocate for the voiceless is a way of living out the Shema and bringing his Jewish faith into a place where it is not simply a compartment of his life that he opens up on the Sabbath, but it is who he is, and that is why he is able to reach out.

In a finishing note: Last night as I was watching the end of "The Shawshank Redemption," I was again touched by the beauty of the music just as Red finishes Andy's letter and decides to go buy the bus ticket to Fort Hancock. If hearing that music does not cause something deep to well up in you, well as Red said, "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

I Hope the Pacific is as Blue as it is in My Dreams

I know, I know. The title for today's post is not derived from any lyrics, but it seems incredibly appropriate. I actually just sat down and watched "Shawshank" from Andy's escape to the end. Such an incredible movie about the value of hope and freedom.

The conference this weekend was amazing. This was my first time to visit Pepperdine, and despite everyone constantly talking about the beauty of Malibu, they can never prepare you for the first look with your own eyes. Joey and I stayed with the Weber's at their house on campus. One of the really cool things that Pepperdine does is build housing on campus for faculty and staff so they do not have to pay the exorbitant prices for real estate in Southern California. The Weber's condo sits near the top of the canyon and has one of the most beautiful views that I have ever seen. Each morning when I looked out my bedroom window, I could see the campus stretching away from me down the canyon, and then the Pacific Ocean with the soft sunlight just beginning to illuminate the water. Catalina Island loomed 26 miles offshore, and the skyscrapers of downtown peeked up in the distance. As if all of this was not enough, Kenneth Starr lives in the condo next door. Yes, becoming a faculty member at Pepperdine one day sounds like an enticing career option.

Last night as we were coming back on the connecting flight from Houston to Abilene, I was reading The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara which I purchased in the airport on Thursday. I had heard so much about the book beforehand from a lot of people whose literary opinions I respect, so my expectations were riding pretty high, and the book has not disappointed. I am not sure if it was the combination of travel fatigue, head cold, and California letdown or the sheer beauty of Shaara's prose, but I began to quietly cry while I read the following passage:

One recourse: Can't go back. Can't stay where we are. Results: inevitable. The idea formed. "Let's fix bayonets," Chamberlain said. For a moment no one moved. "We'll have the advantage of moving downhill," he said...."Let's go." Chamberlain raised his saber and bawled at the top of his voice, "Fix bayonets!" He was thinking: We don't have two hundred men left. Not two hundred. More than that coming at us. He saw Melcher bounding away toward his company, yelling, waving. Bayonets were coming out, clinking, clattering. He heard men beginning to shout, Marine men, strange shouts, hoarse, wordless, animal. He limped to the front, to the great boulder where Tozier stood with the colors, Kilrain at his side. The Rebs were in plain view, moving, firing. Chamberlain saw clearly a tall man aiming a rifle at him. At me. Saw the smoke, the flash, but did not hear the bullet go by. Missed. Ha! He stepped out into the open, balanced on the gray rock. Tozier had lifted the colors into the clear. The Rebs were thirty yards off. Chamberlain raised his saber, let loose the shout that was the greatest sound he could make, boiling the yell up from his chest: Fix bayonets! Charge! Fix Bayonets! Charge! Fix Bayonets! Charge!

Let me explain: the man referred to in the passage is Joshua Chamberlain. Colonel Chamberlain is the commander of the 20th Regiment from Maine. At the battle of Gettysburg, the 20th has found themselves defending Little Round Top at the extreme southern end of the Union line. If they are flanked, the entire Union army will be routed, and the critical battle of the war will be lost. That is what makes Chamberlain's leadership incredible. In a time of extreme need and desperation, he realized that he had to do something that would probably lead to his death, but that could also give the men hope to continue. His charge off of Little Round Top led to a turn in the battle and eventually the war.

Sometimes in life, when everything seems bleak, and the sky is foreboding, you just have to fix bayonets and charge, even though things look dark. You never know what might happen....

All That's Left is Gone Away

I wanted to post today in case in do not have access to a computer tonight. We will be flying out of Abilene to Houston at 4:20 p.m., then we will catch a flight in Houston for LAX. I should be arriving in Malibu around 10 p.m tonight, I am not sure if that will be PST or CST, but it really does not matter.

This conference is going to be great, and I think it will be a really good opportunity to make some contacts with people who are in the human rights field. I am really excited to talk to a University of Virginia law school professor who will be presenting about her work with IJM.

I am not sure if Joey and I will be able to make the pilgrimmage to Newport, but we will be there in spirit. Drivin' down the 101................

Your Cold Hot Blood Ran Away From Me to the Sea

How often do I get mad or angry about the "right" things? Why can I watch our basketball team lose to the moonies last night and that makes me angrier than the thought of people in Sudan being brutalized by their government simply because of the tribe that they were born into? Something seems to be terribly wrong in my heart and my focus if those are the things that cause me to burn.

I think one of the reasons that I want to pursue this career in human rights and social justice is that these are ideas that it is okay to be righteously indignant about. This is the stuff that drives even God to anger. Throughout scripture, the only thing that God talks about more than justice is idolatry, which is another huge problem that we conveniently dismiss as Americans who do not bow down to gods of stone or wood, but we have our drugs of choice.

I think that the scripture that Christ first choose to read during his return to the synagogue of his birth was taken from Isaiah 61.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Isaiah 61:1-2

I read that passage and I realize that I could be the hands and feet of God in proclaiming freedom and ending oppression, and that is something that stirs my heart for the future in a way that no amount of money or fame ever could.

Nicholas Kristof's editorial about the potential failure of the Bush Adminstration to bring the perpetrators of the Darfur genocide to justice can be found here.

P.S. Happy 21st Birthday to Sarah Woodroof

If You Keep Your Eyes Open, You May Find Yourself There

Every so often, moments of brilliance break through the noise, and remind us that no matter how dense or oppressive the darkness, light pierces our eyes and our consciousness. One of those moments occurred January 30 in Iraq.

I realize that American enthusiasm should be tempered, and the loss of an estimated 50 lives on the election day is another example of the tragic consequences of human conflict, but there is also cause for jubilation. If anything, it should shame the American people when we examine our own voting habits. I don't think anyone in the U.S. last November 2 decided to not visit the polls because of probable suicide bombers or mortar attacks. I'm sure we all had more pressing reasons than that.

There are pictures of women holding up ink-stained fingers to compliment their tear-stained cheeks. There are pictures of people waiting in voting lines longer than the typical queue at the latest Six Flags thrill ride. Because we are the world's foremost democracy, I think we often forget how precious the opportunity of selecting the leadership of one's nation is to many people around the world. It is a relatively new facet of world affairs, and one that still has a tenuous hold at best in many parts of the world. It is grounded in the conception that all human beings are equal, and because of that, each man or woman's vote counts just as much as anyone else's.

David Brooks of the New York Times wrote an Op-Ed Column today on the recent Iraqi elections. You can read his piece here.