The Highway is Alive Tonight

As you lay down your head tonight to catch 40 winks before the 'morrow, you might want to include a quick prayer for the knee ligaments of Baylor freshman quarterback Robert Griffin.
Tomorrow at Floyd Casey Stadium, Griffin and the Bears have an 11:30 a.m. appointment with the team currently sitting atop the national polls, the Sooners from that state north of the Red River. The fact that the Bears currently have an 0-17 record against the Sooners does not bear (oh, the puns) well on their chances tomorrow, but perhaps the spirit of David Koresh, Patrick Dennehy, Dave Bliss, Mike Singletary will lead the Bears to victory tomorrow.

Also, if there is a God, and if he is indeed merciful, the Bears will defeat the Evil Empire from the Land of the Red Dirt. You know, just if he wants to put that on the agenda behind world peace, world hunger, and genocide.

I Belong Anywhere But In Between

Brian Collins, he of "And Boom Goes the Dynamite" fame, is now a sportscaster at KXXV Channel 25 in Waco.

"Scott Drew...not looking happy with Bears' play right now...AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE."

Also, it bears mentioning that Collins is likely the second-most famous Ball State alum in the world of broadcasting, but he still falls well short of #1: the one, the only, David Letterman.

Lights Out Tonight, Trouble in the Heartland

I've written before about the vim and vigor that Gus Johnson brings to the announcing booth, but unfortunately it looks like he also brings something else along for the ride: a blatant disregard for the facts.

Today, in an interview posted on the blog Awful Announcing, Johnson gave the following quote:

"Things were difficult at one time, I remember working in Waco making $16K a year and eating at Del Taco everyday. They used to have this deal where you would get 4 tacos for $2.50 plus a drink and that was my thing, but it was fun. It’s always been fun, I’ve enjoyed this ride so much. I’ve been so fortunate to experience the things I’ve experienced."

I'm glad that GuJo, as he is called by Bill Simmons, took the time to mention the 254 in his interview, but Gus there's only one tiny problem with your heartfelt rags-to-riches story. There is not a Del Taco location in the entire state of Texas. Please consult the Del Taco website for visual confirmation that Del Taco only exists in Washington, Oregon, California, Montana, Idaho, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Michigan, Illinois, Missouri, and surprisingly, Tennessee.

What I really need in this situation is a Waco expert who can confirm or deny that a Del Taco location existed in our fair city in the early 1990's when Johnson was employed at KXXV-TV.

David Koresh, you weren't busy during the early 90's, I know you can answer this query.

Hello?

Is this thing on?

Writing Fan Letters to Sky King and Penny

In more news from the source of perpetual putridity (Baylor football), University of Houston head coach Art Briles was interviewed in Dallas today by the Baylor Athletic Director, Ian McCaw, but has not commented on whether he will fill the B.U. coaching vacancy or even if that soul-sucking position was extended in his general direction.

Without question, my favorite portion of the article that I have linked to is the rumor circulated by a Houston radio station that Baylor offered Briles a contract for 10 years and an annual salary of $1.8 million dollars. Now, we can all acknowledge that Waco is not sub-Saharan Africa, but an annual salary of $1.8 million would enable you to do a myriad of notable things in the 254.


Such as:

• Purchasing the site of the former Branch Davidian compound and hosting "Start Your Own Fanatical Following" seminars.
• Buying exclusive rights to a section of the Brazos River to host simulated naval battles. It worked for the Roman emperors and it can work for you as well.
• Acquiring the Brazos Belle, breaking that venerable craft free from its moorings, and cruising up and down its namesake river while constantly referring to yourself as "Steamboat Willie".
• Placing additional copies of the above-pictured Gizmo magazine into your already extensive collection.

Coach Briles, I have no idea if you will be the next leader of the Baylor football program, but I have no doubt that my enticing recitation of possible outlets for your potential wealth will be an offer that you cannot (as Don Vito Corleone once said) refuse.

Pull Me Out of the Aircrash

I realize this story has already been hashed out on other BLS blogs, but I would be doing myself and the rest of this band a disservice if I didn't cover this thing for my non-BLS reading audience.


Last Saturday night, or to be more precise, early Sunday morning, Assistant Baylor football coach Eric Schnupp decided to "mark his territory" on the bar of local watering hole "Scruffy Murphy's". Here's more coverage of the "Schnupp Sprinkle" incident from the Waco Tribune-Herald.

Baylor football may have taken up permanent residence in the Big 12 cellar, but at least they know how to generate good copy.

Current Reading

Mystic River--Dennis Lehane