Don't You Know You Need Some Time All Alone

Congratulations to Ms. Stacy Villescas for correctly naming "Winding Wheel" by Ryan Adams as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

Folks, I've been trying to tell you for years now that Ronald Reagan was simultaneously referring to the U.S.S.R., the Yankees, Nickelback, and Manchester United when #40 began speaking of "an evil empire", but a story brought to my attention today by the lady friend takes the cake.

A man "angered" by Manchester United's defeat to Barcelona in the final of the Champions League killed four people when he drove a minibus into a crowd celebrating the Spanish side's victory, police in Nigeria have told CNN.

First of all, this is why soccer is captivating and, at the same time, completely insane. The fact that a group of Nigerians would be crowding into a street to celebrate the victory of a Spanish club in a European competition says much about the worldwide reach of soccer's popularity, particularly the popularity of the large European clubs such as Barcelona, Liverpool, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid, and yes, Manchester United.
I'm a huge fan of the NFL, but I don't think anyone was gathering on the street corners of Lagos, Nigeria to celebrate last year when the Steelers won the title. Well, unless they were excited about the influx of Cardinals t-shirts that would shortly be making their way across the Atlantic. Kurt Warner: He's huge in Lagos!!!

More importantly, though, this is the kind of story that continues to give soccer fandom a black-eye. In America, we have the occasional riot/drunken gathering/couch burning expedition by college students when their school brings home a national title or we have an alcohol induced dust-up between Yankees and Red Sox fans in the bleachers on a hot July afternoon. No one gets too worried about things, we all shrug it off as the normal course of events in the sporting world, and we move on without much hand-wringing or blame casting.

Can you imagine, though, if something like this happened in America, if a Patriots fan had run down 4 Giants fans in Cambridge, MA two years ago after Super Bowl XLII? I'm pretty sure Keith Olbermann's head might have exploded, although I'm not so sure that's a bad thing, but I digress.

Vanessa Calls Me on the Phone, Reminding Me I'm Not Alone

I wrote last week about Rangers and Stars owner Tom Hicks partnering with Montreal Canadiens owner, George Gillett, Jr. to possibly purchase Liverpool FC. Since the announcement , I spent a post-Finals weekend of relaxation watching innumerable YouTube montages documenting "The Reds" and their captain, Steven Gerrard.

I'm pretty sure that with my penchant for becoming a little bit too attached to organizations that I belong to (GSP) or teams that I follow (The Rangers), I was meant to be a soccer fan in some respect. It just seems like it's encoded on my DNA or something like that. I should mention that I only played one season of soccer. It was during the Fall of 1994 that I played for the Tyler Ajax. I'm not sure if we understood that we were named after the Homeric hero of The Iliad instead of the cleaning supply, but we played hard nonetheless.

Despite my lack of soccer-playing experience, I've always been drawn to the fervor of the game, the sheer joy that accompanies the scoring of goals, and the pageantry in the stands. Because of the preceding points, I'm here to declare that I'm going to start following Liverpool FC. Ever since I started reading about the club in The Sports Guy article on selecting a English Premier League team to follow, I thought that they would be the best to follow and the fact that Hicks is planning to purchase the club makes my fandom somewhat symmetrical. Think about it this way, at least I can blame one person for all of my fan angst in the future besides Jerry Jones.

Admittedly, I'm coming into this whole process a little late in the game. In the previously mentioned column on selecting an EPL team to follow, Simmons had this to say about Liverpool:

"Too much history, too personal, too easy, too obvious. Someone from America can't casually become a Liverpool fan, just like someone from England couldn't have casually become a Red Sox fan before 2004. I just wouldn't have felt right about it."

As much as appreciate the opinions of the Sports Guy, I'm going to go against him on this one. I'm going to start following "The Reds". If you were wondering why I think soccer is such a great spectacle, just watch the following clip of Liverpool fans singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" before a Champions League match against Juventus. These kinds of things just don't happen at Rangers games.

You Know There's Always More than One Way to Say Exactly What You Mean to Say

There's a chapter in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs where Chuck Klosterman lays out his thesis that everyone in the world is either a Celtics person or a Lakers person. This dichotomy probably makes more sense to people who followed NBA basketball in the 80's, but I think he's right to a certain extent. To understand his argument, you must accept that the argument makes broad generalizations, but that's part of the fun.

Celtics people are the same people who have an affinity for all things "classic". They may not be overly flashy but you know that a Celtics person is going to be there day in/day out. Much like Larry Bird, McHale, and Parish, a Celtics person thrives on the fundamentals of the game. Celtics people buy the BMW and then they drive it for 20 years. Whatever that means.

Lakers people are the ones who may be slightly mercurial, but at times they simply amaze you with their ability. They go through life with a contagious enthusiasm that is simply undeniable. Lakers people buy the Corvette and trade it in every few years for the new hot-ticket item.

Well, here's my proposition. Since the Lakers/Celtics dichotomy is no longer relevant, I am proposing a new sports related system of distinguishing the citizens of the world. You might think that I would propose Yankees people vs. Red Sox people, but as much as it pains me, they have really just become the two behemoths in the baseball universe that try to outspend everyone else. I'm not saying that the Sox have become as soulless as the Evil Empire, but the difference is becoming more indistinguishable as the years go by.

The true dividing line in my mind is this: Are you a Colts person or a Patriots person? Obviously these two don't have as much history as the Celtics or Lakers, but I think it's a valid question. The two franchises are epitomized appropriately enough by their quarterbacks. Are you a Manning fan or a Brady fan? It's almost as much fun as asking: Friends or Seinfeld?

So, where is your loyalty?

Down Sleepless Roads the Sleepless Go

Congratulations to "Katie" for correctly naming "No Rain" by Blind Melon as the Friday Song of the Day. I'm not sure if this Katie is my sister or another Katie, but congratulations nonetheless. Please feel free to share your last name to clear up any confusion that I currently have regarding my sister's possible Blind Melon fandom.

Because a Saturday night in early December seems like a reasonable time to confess a few secrets, here you go:

10 Things That I'm Not Afraid to Admit

1.You know, "Stairway to Heaven" is really not all that bad, and if you're telling me that you don't sing along to Jimmy Page's guitar solo, well my friend, you are probably just fooling yourself.

2. The last movie that I saw in theaters was Pirates of the Carribean 2: The Curse of the Black Pearl. I need to rectify this quickly. Also, it was a 2-screen movie theater in Salida, Colorado. Let's just say this was not like going to your friendly neighborhood multiplex.

3. Yes, I once supported the maroon and white of Texas A&M in high school and now I don the burnt orange in support of the 'Horns. Blame this one on Lance Agan.

4. I listen to "The Final Game" from the Rudy Soundtrack in order to get excited about running in the morning when I should probably just roll over and hit snooze.

5. When I called one of my buddies last week after Martin Gramatica hit the game-winning field goal, the conversation went something like this, "Yeahhhhhh.....woooooooooo....yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh." We thought this was normal.

6. I'm listening to the Rudy Soundtrack right now, and I'm not about to go run.

7. I will vehemently argue with anyone that Monday Night Football ratings would have never dipped if ABC had simply kept re-signing Richard Dean Anderson to new contracts for MacGyver.

8. If playing football on trampolines was a professional sport, I would be a first ballot Hall of Famer.

9. I probably should have died at least 15 different times in my prepubescent years from playing the sport described in #8.

10. At one point, I owned multiple Creed albums. Don't worry, I've been clean for a few years now.

I Ran All Night and Day, I Couldn't Get Away

"Tom Brady and the New England Patriots take on Chester Taylor and the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football."

I'm making a request today. If an ESPN producer can look at the other members of the production staff and say, "Brady. Taylor. It's Monday Night Football on ESPN," with a straight face, then I think it's okay to use Taylor's name, but otherwise you have to kick Chester to the curb. It's always good to abide by the recognizable last name rule in those kinds of situations. I'll call it the Danny Scott rule.
I always love watching games where my Dad walks into the room and utters the immortal line, "Man, I don't even know who any of these guys are anymore." I usually respond by asking whether he has watched any sports lately, which he usually responds to with a "no", whereby I respond, "Well, doesn't it seem to make sense that you don't know any of the players?" *See footnote.

If my Dad recognizes the player's name when used in a promo, it's safe to say that it was a good call by the producers to use that promo format, but if it leaves my Dad scratching his head and looking over at me for answers, the folks at the Worldwide Leader probably need to go back to the drawing board.

I should tell you that when I heard this promo, I was in Waco, and my Dad was approximately 2.5 hours away in Tyler, but I have this sixth sense about these things. I'm pretty sure that other people have similar abilities regarding where to buy high-quality laundry detergents or cake batter. We all have our gifts, we just need to learn how to use them.

*It's almost as if men expect to have knowledge of sports without ever watching or reading about them on a consistent basis. As if there was a sports mothership hovering above the earth that sent down daily news and notes that we should have in order avoid awkward conversational exchanges. The authority on this subject is this man. Everyone please thank Dan for exposing our collective disease.

I Believe In Love, but It Don't Believe In Me

As I take a brief break from outlining here in the Sheridan and John Eddie Williams Legal Research and Technology Center (in layman's terms, the law library), I have just had an epiphany of monumental proportions. In humble tribute to the legendary MLB Uniform Countdown by Mr. Austin Van Henley, I have decided to embark on a countdown of the Top 10 World Series since I was born in 1984.

With that said, please do not send me any vitrolic diatribes telling me that I am out of my mind to leave out Carlton Fisk's homer in the 1975 Red Sox-Reds Fall Classic. I don't want to hear about my gross oversight in not including Don Larsen's perfect game in '56.

I'm writing from my own frame of reference, even if a portion of that reference encompasses the period while I was still in diapers.

Check back in later tonight for #10.