You Know There's Always More than One Way to Say Exactly What You Mean to Say
There's a chapter in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs where Chuck Klosterman lays out his thesis that everyone in the world is either a Celtics person or a Lakers person. This dichotomy probably makes more sense to people who followed NBA basketball in the 80's, but I think he's right to a certain extent. To understand his argument, you must accept that the argument makes broad generalizations, but that's part of the fun.
Celtics people are the same people who have an affinity for all things "classic". They may not be overly flashy but you know that a Celtics person is going to be there day in/day out. Much like Larry Bird, McHale, and Parish, a Celtics person thrives on the fundamentals of the game. Celtics people buy the BMW and then they drive it for 20 years. Whatever that means.
Lakers people are the ones who may be slightly mercurial, but at times they simply amaze you with their ability. They go through life with a contagious enthusiasm that is simply undeniable. Lakers people buy the Corvette and trade it in every few years for the new hot-ticket item.
Well, here's my proposition. Since the Lakers/Celtics dichotomy is no longer relevant, I am proposing a new sports related system of distinguishing the citizens of the world. You might think that I would propose Yankees people vs. Red Sox people, but as much as it pains me, they have really just become the two behemoths in the baseball universe that try to outspend everyone else. I'm not saying that the Sox have become as soulless as the Evil Empire, but the difference is becoming more indistinguishable as the years go by.
The true dividing line in my mind is this: Are you a Colts person or a Patriots person? Obviously these two don't have as much history as the Celtics or Lakers, but I think it's a valid question. The two franchises are epitomized appropriately enough by their quarterbacks. Are you a Manning fan or a Brady fan? It's almost as much fun as asking: Friends or Seinfeld?
So, where is your loyalty?
posted by Justin @ 1/18/2007 09:08:00 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
So I take it that you are a baseball, crikit person??
well I am into nether of those but the sport I am into is Surfing, I am not very good at it but I am getting better every time I surf.
so you are 23, 10 year's older than me, almnost 9.
well tata for now!!
surffergirl13.blogspot.com
Red Sox - they aren't as evil yet.
Manning - he has humorous commercials.
Seinfeld - no plot hilarity = greatness.
I'm stoked about the Sosa era the the Ballpark. I think we could field a team called the steroid squad and still win the series this year because of the Buck Sholwalter theory. I would say I'm a Manning person as well. I just started a blog and if you could add me to you friends that blog list that would be great. andrewmtuegel.blogspot.com.
GSP/Galaxy.
I also found that analogy of Klosterman's interesting.
I would say that I'm much more a Celtics guy, but that's simply becuase I've always hated the Lakers (good win by the Mavs tonght by the way).
I also agree with you that the Yankees/Red Sox thing doesn't really fly anymore. About 5 years ago it would have worked, but since the Sox won it all, they have got so many aggravating bandwagon fans that I'm nearly as annoyed by them as I am by the Yankees...I said nearly obviously becuase I hate the Yankees with all my heart, soul, mind, and being.
I think there really isn't a defining rivalry out there in sports right now that compares to those Celtics/Lakers battles of the 80's. I guess Colts/Pats is about as close as we can get, but it isn't really a rivalry as much as a seamingly-annual dismissal of the Colts from the playoffs at the hands of the Pats. If the series was closer I think it would be more appropriate. And give me the Colts in that one by the way since I hate "The Genius in the Hoody" and obviously am contractually obligated to hate anyone as athletically successful/rich/good looking as Brady.
Finally, as I've overtaken the entire comments section I would say that the closest thing that I can think of that would still be relevant for guys of our age would be Duke/UNC. Think back to middle school and the great teams that Duke and UNC were sporting at the time and how it seemed like every kid in school would wear either a UNC hat or a Duke shirt or somesuch. I still feel like that rivalry is strong and I feel like just about every sports fan has a side in that rivalry and I really do feel like different types of people choose each side... I've always taken Duke, but that's just me.
And by the way GSP/Galaxy isn't too far off.
Of course, if you were Bill Simmons this week, you would ask if you are a Celtics person, a Lakers person, or a 2007 Suns person. Very disappointing latest column, I have to admit. Here's hoping the next one is better.
Surfer Girl,
I have no idea who you are, and judging by your age, that is probably a good thing. Thanks for stopping by though.
Kyle,
Yes, the Sox are not nearly as evil as the Yankees yet. I think of it as a Kim Jong Il v. Hitler comparision. Maybe that's over the line.
Tuegel,
I think the Steroid Squad is a great idea if they also have to compete in "World's Strongest Man" events in between innings. That's the only way I'm supporting it.
Anonymous,
Obviously I agree with the GSP/Galaxy dichotomy, but we're not talking about pure righteousness v. pure evil here. For all the Moonies reading this, I'm just joking. I know how riled up all of you became after the newspaper headline fiasco last year.
Austin,
The Duke/UNC angle is an interesting one, although as odd as this sounds, I kind of like both teams. If it came down to it, I'm probably going with Duke because of Coach K, but this year the 'Heels have a much more likable team.
John,
I'll agree with you on Simmons' column on the Suns. Let's give them a bit of time here before we start making these overblown proclamations on their historical greatness. I'm reminded of how ESPN fell flat on their face last year after making USC the greatest team of all time before the lost to the 'Horns in the Rose Bowl.
He's wrong. I rooted for the Sixers during the 80s. Because they had Dr. J. And Dr. J was cool and Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were not.
I hate both the Yankees and the Red Sox. I hope they both lose.
I despise the Colts with a white hot intensity of a thousand burning suns, but I have a healthy dislike of the Patriots. So no go on that rivalry either.
Duke-UNC? Well, Duke is pure evil, but I root for Maryland. So I want the Heels to lose, too.
Auburn-Alabama? Any way for a meteor to hit the stadium. Leafs-Habs? Both fanbases are haughty and obnoxious. Michigan-Ohio St? Don't care. I feel left out of the whole rivalry thing.
But the Klosterman book is great.
...sorry if this posts twice
Out of My Head / Fastball
"As the president has instructed us again and again, we need to return to our normal lives. And for most of the country, healthy normal well-rounded lives include hating the Yankees." - Jim Capel, ESPN.com, following 9/11 (but not too soon after)
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