I Ran All Night and Day, I Couldn't Get Away

"Tom Brady and the New England Patriots take on Chester Taylor and the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football."

I'm making a request today. If an ESPN producer can look at the other members of the production staff and say, "Brady. Taylor. It's Monday Night Football on ESPN," with a straight face, then I think it's okay to use Taylor's name, but otherwise you have to kick Chester to the curb. It's always good to abide by the recognizable last name rule in those kinds of situations. I'll call it the Danny Scott rule.
I always love watching games where my Dad walks into the room and utters the immortal line, "Man, I don't even know who any of these guys are anymore." I usually respond by asking whether he has watched any sports lately, which he usually responds to with a "no", whereby I respond, "Well, doesn't it seem to make sense that you don't know any of the players?" *See footnote.

If my Dad recognizes the player's name when used in a promo, it's safe to say that it was a good call by the producers to use that promo format, but if it leaves my Dad scratching his head and looking over at me for answers, the folks at the Worldwide Leader probably need to go back to the drawing board.

I should tell you that when I heard this promo, I was in Waco, and my Dad was approximately 2.5 hours away in Tyler, but I have this sixth sense about these things. I'm pretty sure that other people have similar abilities regarding where to buy high-quality laundry detergents or cake batter. We all have our gifts, we just need to learn how to use them.

*It's almost as if men expect to have knowledge of sports without ever watching or reading about them on a consistent basis. As if there was a sports mothership hovering above the earth that sent down daily news and notes that we should have in order avoid awkward conversational exchanges. The authority on this subject is this man. Everyone please thank Dan for exposing our collective disease.