Down Comes the Reign of the Telephone Czar

Since I found out I would be moving to Houston, my single greatest fear centered on being swept out to sea at the mercy of some record-breaking hurricane.

I was wrong, my friends. Dead wrong.

When I go to meet my maker it will not be at the hands of some namby-pamby "tropical storm". No, I will be assisted off of this mortal coil by a giant, plastic, backwards-hat wearing bear named "Clutch".