Watching the Ships Roll In, and I'll Watch 'Em Roll Away Again

Congratulations to Mr. Joey Halbert and Mr. John Middleton for correctly naming "All Apologies" by Nirvana as the Tuesday Song of the Day, although I should have settled the true status of the Song of the Day champion via a pre-established method.

Speaking of which...

From this date forward, all parties in disputes regarding their status as the true winner of the Song of the Day Contest hereby submit to binding arbitration, which shall consist of the following 3 events:

1. One thumb-war contested under guidelines promulgated by the International Thumb Wrestling Society (ITWS),
   
   
2. One round of Indian* leg wrestling, and
   
   
   
3. One round of rock-paper-scissors**.

The contest will be based on a "best 2 out of 3" format. May the best man, woman, or child win.

*Iroquois, more specifically. As such, the use of moves which are banned under the Iroquois standard, such as the "Standing Chief Yellowrock Leg Lock" will result in the contestant's immediate disqualification in addition to any possible criminal prosecutions related to the use of such banned moves.

**Contestants may only "throw" rock, paper, or scissors during this portion of the binding arbitration. All other references to or uses of inane "throws" such as "God", "rain", or "lightning" are hereby banned and will result in the contestant's immediate disqualification from the remainder of the competition.