Now They Make New Movies in Old Black and White

Among the many shortcomings of modern sports broadcasting, some of the most egregious offenders are the painfully awkward promotional spots that are wedged into breaks in the action.

Even though I cannot see Joe Buck's face when he is forced to extol the virtues of the next episode of "Hole in the Wall", I have no doubt that Joe's attorney tells his client to smile as he silently reviews the announcer's contract with Fox before each and every descent into that world of advertising purgatory.

All of this came to a head last Saturday afternoon when I heard the venerable Verne Lundquist say the following words during the CBS broadcast of the Kentucky-Alabama game:
"Tune in on Monday at 9/8 central for the latest hijinks of Charlie, Alan, and Jake on America's #1 Comedy, Two and a Half Men."

For a second the words washed over me without recognition, but as my mind changed gears from the Rules of Evidence to the Southeastern Conference on a Saturday afternoon, I came to a horrible realization:
What if Verne's right? What if Two and a Half Men really is America's #1 comedy? Is that the kind of world in which I want to live? Isn't that infinitely worse than an economy in turmoil or the fact that Shakespeare in Love beat Saving Private Ryan for the 1998 Best Picture Oscar?

My momentary fears subsided because I've only spoken to one other human being since Saturday who actually knows someone who has watched the show, but let me tell you, I was thrown for a loop there, folks.

I mean, that's almost absurd as telling me that Beverly Hills Chihuahua is currently sitting atop the box-office sales tally.

What's that?

You're serious?

If you'll excuse me, I need to head down to the fall-out shelter.