Oh, What Good is It to Live with Nothing Left to Give, Forget, but Not Forgive, Not Loving All You See

Congratulations to Andrew Tuegel for correctly naming "One" by U2 as the Wednesday Song of the Day.

One of the most interesting facets of writing in this space for the last 2 or so years has been my attitude towards the number of comments that I receive on a given post. When I started writing in October 2004, I was actually surprised when anyone would actually sit down to read what I had written. Over time, I began to take comments for granted and simply expected that people would provide feedback on each post. I began to notice as trends developed between the number of comments that I would receive on a given post and the subject matter.

I discovered that the more honest and forthcoming that I was on a given post, there seemed to be a smaller number of comments. At first, I was somehow troubled by this. Someone even sent me an email and told me to not be disappointed simply because people were not responding to posts that somehow required more of me than those that talked about pop culture or sports. During the period that I have written here, I have come to expect that the truly emotional, gut-wrenching posts are those that do not receive any comments.

I understand why. It almost seems voyeuristic to provide sympathy or true emotional honesty in such a cold, antiseptic place as "cyberspace", but the truth is, it's not really about the comments. It's about using this outlet in a variety of ways and allowing my words to communicate the things that I have allowed to roll around in my head for days, weeks, months, and years.

One of the stories that has really resonated with me this year is the Israelites' journey to Canaan. The theme of leaving something that was safe and well-known and striking out through the wilderness towards a "promised land" really resonates with me at this juncture of my life. Leaving Abilene and all my friends in May, enduring a painful break-up at the end of the summer, and moving to a new city with new adventures has reminded that at some points in our life we must walk through a veritable wilderness.

Now, Waco is not that bad, but these past few months have been a time of tremendous growth. Growth is usually a beneficial process, but is not necessarily a painless one. I am reminded each day that as I endure the "wilderness", the "promised land" is out there in the distance. It might be easy to think that the "promised land" is graduation, summer, a relationship, etc. , but I think it's more than that. It's about learning that life is this constantly changing and evolving process where we are never complete, never finished, and have never arrived. Oh sure, we'll arrive when we stop breathing one day, but I'm learning that a large part of life is simply taking that next step because you never know what tomorrow will bring.