Close the Shutters, Draw the Shades, Filter Out the Everglades

Congratulations to Mr. Joey Halbert for correctly naming "Mighty Quinn (Quinn the Eskimo)" by Bob Dylan as the Monday Song of the Day.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on in the following video but it looks like somebody has little too much time on their hands, a rudimentary understanding of MS Paint, and a desire to do a mediocre tribute to the "Clint Eastwood" video by Gorillaz.

Now that I've assured that anyone who had any desire to read this post has now left, I'll move on to another topic sure to alienate my readers: The Champions League!!!

As a quick refresher, the competition is currently at the quarterfinal stage with 8 teams remaining. The matchups are as follows:

• Villarreal F.C. (Spain)
  
• Arsenal F.C. (England)
  
• F.C. Porto (Portugal)
• Manchester United F.C. (England)
• F.C. Barcelona (Spain)
• F.C. Bayern Munich (Germany)
  
• Chelsea F.C. (England)
  
• Your favorite and mine, Liverpool F.C. (England)

Let's walk through the matchups just so you can get out of here at a reasonable hour:

• Villarreal F.C. versus Arsenal F.C.

In a rematch of their semi-final matchup in 2006, the Yellow Submarine from Spain meets the faovrite club of Nick Hornby and Osama bin Laden. Even though Villarreal boasts the services of the half-American/half-Italian Giuseppe Rossi, the Gunners, with the help of Van Persie and Adebayor up front, will move on to face the winner of...

• F.C. Porto versus Manchester United F.C.

You would think that a team from a region famous for making port would be able to pull some sort of Samson/Delilah-style trick on the English Evil Empire, but the club that American taxpayers love to subsidize is probably a bit more wily than that. I'm really not sure how Man.U. keeps getting these kinds of draws, except that Tim Geithner, as part of the bailout plan with A.I.G., is probably threatening to publish some sort of incriminiating phots of UEFA President Michel Platini. It's a bit far fetched, but in the corrupt world that is European soccer, I doesn't seem quite that outlandish. The EEE should win this matchup going away.

• FC Barcelona versus FC Bayern Munich

In the only showdown that does not feature an English team, we'll probably see a ton of goals scored, but again, since an English team is not involved, ESPN will almost certainly not show either of the matchups. Despite strong performances in both matches from Ribery & Co. (Bayern Munich), the attacking presence of Eto'o, Henry, and Messi will give Barcelona that extra magic necessary to advance at this stage of the competition.

• Chelsea F.C. versus Liverpool F.C.

And now, what you've all been waiting for, the yearly grudge matchup between the Reds and the Blues. This marks the 5th straight year that Chelsea and Liverpool have clashed in the Champions League, and if last year's matches are any indication, at least we have hopes of more scoring this year. Guus Hiddink's arrival as manager of Chelsea has reinvigorated the attacking presence of Drogba and Anelka, but right now, Liverpool is a force of nature. In their last three matches, against some pretty stout opponents (Real Madrid, Man. U., and Aston Villa), the Reds have won by a combined score of 13-1.

I'm not sure how the current two week international break is going to affect their momentum, but a team with leadership like Benitez and Gerrard will certainly be focused when they walk out to face Chelsea on April 8. Despite the forthcoming cries of homerism from John Middleton, Liverpool's current form has been so strong, I would be crazy to bet against them. Also, I would denying all that is good and right in the world if I didn't pick the Reds to triumph.

Current Reading

The Kings of New York: A Year Among the Geeks, Oddballs, and Geniuses Who Make Up America's Top High School Chess Team by Michael Weinreb