My Old Man Told Me One Time

So Tom, your lawyer says this has nothing to do with the fact that you are currently awaiting trial on federal money-laundering charges.
Come on Mr. Delay, I didn't fall for the oceanfront property in Arizona trick, please don't try to fool me again.

Quick Hits on a Tuesday Afternoon

• Is there anything more enjoyable than "One Shining Moment" on CBS at the end of the Final Four? Well, besides each and every movie ever made starring Jim Varney.
• Starbucks Frappuccinos are still not listed under the "addictive substances that should be banned" list by the Surgeon General. Shouldn't someone from Dateline get on this? Wake up Stone Phillips for goodness sake. If they can't do it, please find John Stossel. This needs to be addressed people.