Drove Up to Hillside Manor Sometime After Two A.M.

Part XVIII (My Response)

Those last few lines definitely resonate with me. As I was sitting down to gather my thoughts before writing this (yes, I tried to gather my thoughts even if what you are about to read doesn't seem logical or methodical) I tried to find the root of that need for independence, that need for self-sufficiency. It would be convenient to say that attitude/world-view comes from one place, but in truth, it is like most things in life, a combination of a variety of factors and experiences that come together to make us who we are.

Part of it is probably in my nature as a man. I'm certainly no expert on the genders, and I'm not saying that men don't have cooperative tendencies and women don't have independent tendencies, but it seems like men have a greater proclivity towards this kind of a self-sufficient, Lone Ranger taking on the problems of the world outlook. If you (Luke or the readers) think that I'm way off-base in that, I really would love to have you set my straight and settle my hash.

Another part of it is that we love to say the right things about community, accountability, and responsibility, but when it comes down to it, those things are difficult. Many times, realizing that we are out-of-balance in some portion of our lives is a painful experience, and if we can live in our own world and convince ourselves that we'll pull ourselves up by our boot-straps (even though I don't even own any boots) and back into this state of balance that we have been discussing for the past few weeks. We know rationally that we will be in a better position if we allow others to point out our blind spots and give us advice, but in our hearts, it is much easier to live in the deluded state where we can figure it all out if we only continue to grind and work towards that balance on our own.