Saturday, January 12, 2008

Go Make Your Next Choice Be Your Best Choice

Despite the demands of Joey "I'm Belichick's Lackey" Halbert, I will refrain from chronicling the demise of the Jacksonville Jaguars before the teams have even stepped onto the turf tonight at Foxborough. Joey, just be sure not to injure yourself leaping from the Pats' bandwagon when it comes to a screeching halt.

Just because I love arbitrary lists as much as anyone, here's a little something that will be sure to generate some good opinions:



(I know it's 2008, and this list was published about 8 years ago. Cut me some slack)

20. The Rose Bowl

What SI says: The Rose Bowl is more a postcard than a stadium, designed to seduce pasty Midwesterners with the California fantasy. How many Big Ten fans tuned in on those wintry New Year's Days to gawk at the blooming bougainvillea and started packing their station wagons at halftime?

My take: In a world where most stadiums rise up out of a sea of asphalt parking lots, the Rose Bowl is tucked back into a Pasadena neighborhood in the center of the Arroyo Seco. Nothing says "New Year's Day" like an overhead shot of the Rose Bowl. It probably deserves to be a bit higher on the list.


19. The Old Course at St. Andrews

What SI says: No bulldozers built the Old Course, where sheep tamped the crabby sod into shape. Legend says bored 15th-century shepherds knocked wooden balls around the place, and the cussing and drinking haven't stopped since. Mary Queen of Scots played here; Old Tom Morris, the first golf pro, gave lessons here 130 years ago.

My take: It might seem a bit pretentious to give yourself the title "The Home of Golf", but if you've been playing the game since the 1400's, well, as the saying goes,"It ain't braggin' if you can back it up."



18. Notre Dame Stadium

What SI says: Touchdown Jesus keeps an eye on one end zone, and Knute Rockne watches over the rest of the field. Rockne built his dream stadium and coached here in 1930, its first season, his last.

My take: There's Mom, baseball, and apple pie, but if you're looking for something just screams America, it's a single-tiered college football stadium with un-marked endzones. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.


17. Daytona International Speedway

What SI says: In 1959, when Lee Petty won a photo finish in the inaugural Daytona 500, drivers were not yet cognizant of the aerodynamic phenomenon that made that race -- and all races on this 2.5-mile oval -- spectacular. It was and is the draft, which has led to many mad dashes for the checkered flag.

My take: This is the first one on the list that I just cannot agree with. Perhaps it's my visceral dislike for NASCAR, but more likely it's the feeling that because racetracks only appear on the radar screen once or twice a year, it's hard to develop some type of affinity for a 2.5 mile strip of asphalt.

16. Lamade Stadium

What SI says: Lamade Stadium in Williamsport, Pa., site of the Little League World Series, has seating for about 45,000, but exact attendance figures are hard to come by since there's no admission charge. For Little Leaguers, it is their ultimate goal, and for all of us former Little Leaguers, it's a monument to a simpler, nobler idea of sport -- and one of the few places on earth where you can get a dog and a soda for a buck.

My take: I'm honestly shocked that Field #2 at the Whitehouse Baseball Complex wasn't in this spot. Despite my disappointment, it's hard to argue with the Little League mecca's place on the list. Maybe now they can get rid of the creepy gopher mascot that follows the kids around the field.


15.Oriole Park at Camden Yards

What SI says: The best compliment you could give Camden Yards is that it looks old beyond its years. You can savor the game's past as well as chardonnay and shrimp from an upholstered chair in a luxury box. The builders of Camden Yards did retro right -- its success kicked off the biggest building boom in baseball history and brought about the biggest change in the majors since the DH: It made stadium revenue more important to teams than a catcher who can hit.

My take: I've never been to Camden Yards for a sampling of Boog Powell's famous barbecue, but the home of the O's stands as the harbinger of baseball's stadium renaissance. Plus, you have to love that the B&O Warehouse (the longest building on the East coast) stands behind the right-field fence. Ummm, not that I love b.o. or anything. Let's just move on.

14. Boston Marathon Course
What SI says: For 103 years the hale and hardy and inexplicably optimistic have gathered in little Hopkinton, Mass., at noon on Patriots' Day to run the 26.2 miles to downtown Boston. Heartbreak Hill is actually the last of four hills three quarters of the way through the journey. That climb completed, runners still have six miles to travel before they reach the office towers of the city, where the hale and the hardy will become the lame and the halt -- and victors, all of them.

My take: I still remember Mike Cope telling the story about the year he ran the Boston Marathon, and recalling that his fastest mile-split just happened to coincide with the section of the course where thousands of Wellesley co-eds had lined up to cheer on the competitors. As always, never underestimate what men will do to impress women.

13. The Pit What SI says: A mile high but 37 feet underground, the Pit in Albuquerque has been the site of many mind-blowing college basketball games, including North Carolina State's upset of Houston in '83 and just about any New Mexico home game. The noise created by fans, which has been measured at 125 decibels -- the pain threshold for the human ear is 130 -- is a palpable force.

My take: Even though the New Mexico Lobos are not a perennial contender for the national championship, and the most famous moment on the court was the putback by N.C. State's Lorenzo Charles in 1983, it's hard to discredit any site where Jimmy V. ran around like a madman on the hardwood just looking for someone to hug after the Wolfpack's upset of Houston.

12. Wembley Stadium
What SI says: The most famous soccer stadium in the world was built in 1923 and that year hosted the English FA Cup Final, the so-called White Horse Final, at which 200,000 peaceable spectators were policed by a lone constable on a white stallion. Since then countless pilgrims have entered grounds as charmless as Cleveland's old Municipal Stadium. No matter: Wembley means big matches, and its mystique lies in a team's just making it here.

My take: Even though the "new" Wembley now serves as the annual site of the FA Cup and Carling Cup finals, as well as the home of the English national team, it's hard to argue with the "old" Wembley's place on the list after it hosted memorable events such as the 1966 World Cup final (a 4-2 victory for the Brits for their lone World Cup title) and 1985's Live Aid concert. When Americans hear the words "twin spires" they usually think of Churchill Downs. When almost everyone else in the world hears "twin spires", they probably think of Wembley.

11. Pebble Beach Golf LinksWhat SI says: Robert Louis Stevenson, a Scot but not a golfer, called the curve of Carmel Bay upon which the Pebble Beach golf course was built in 1919, "the most felicitous meeting of land and sea in creation." Other courses are as architecturally brilliant, but none overwhelms the senses like Pebble Beach -- raw nature is on display here as at no other golf course on earth.

My take: I'm not much of a golfer (as Jake, Shane, and Brandon can testify to based on last weekend's performance), but if there's one course I could play before I die, it would be this blessed piece of real estate near Monterey. Also, Clint Eastwood lives near the course. If that's not a vote of confidence, it don't know what is.

10. Saratoga Race Course What SI says: Directions to Saratoga Race Course, by Red Smith: "From New York City you drive north for about 175 miles, turn left on Union Avenue and go back 100 years." With its striped awnings, old wooden clubhouse and grandstand, and paddock shaded by elms, Saratoga transports you back to the days when people came to the races in surreys with the fringe on top.

My take: In a little bit of a spoiler, I'm going to tell you that Churchill Downs did not make the cut, thus making Saratoga the only horse racing venue on the list. I'm by no means an expert on the "Sport of Kings", but any list that places Saratoga above Churchill Downs seems to be fundamentally flawed.

9. Fenway Park
What SI says: The spiritual blueprint for the dozens of new-old ballparks that have been built in the past decade, our favorite old-old ballpark, built in 1912, doggedly survives as developers plot its demise in the next decade. Babe Ruth pitched here. Ted Williams hit and spit here. Yaz won a Triple Crown here. Batters aim for the 37-foot-tall Green Monster in left because in this park, hitting the wall is always a good thing.

My take: Despite the gimmicky moves in recent years like the decision to place seats atop the Monster, Fenway remains the oldest continually occupied stadium in baseball. Also, interestingly enough, it was opened on the same day as the original Tiger Stadium.

8. Lambeau Field
What SI says: In Green Bay, where the local time is always 1963, the citizens worship their Packers with religious fervor, and Lambeau Field is their ageless cathedral. The benches are aluminum, the grass (when not iced over) is resplendent, and the fans are rabid but realistic without being rude. No wonder Packers players leap into the stands after scoring touchdowns. On a truly cold day you can feel the spirit of Vince Lombardi -- even if you can't feel your toes.

My take: As I sit here watching the Packers play the Seahawks on the FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD, it's hard to imagine a football stadium that more closely reflects the blue collar appeal of its team and fanbase than Lambeau. Also, the fact that the luxury boxes actually place the high-rollers further away from the action than the working stiffs is something you will probably never see again in the NFL.

7. Roland Garros
What SI says: If you like tennis, the French Open is the best sports event in the world to attend. If you don't like tennis, it's still the best sports event in the world to attend because it's in Paris. In the spring Roland Garros is more at ease with itself than Wimbledon, which is so self-conscious. Wimbledon is in a distant suburb of London; Roland Garros is at the edge of the Bois de Boulogne. And Roland Garros may be the only friendly place in Paris.

My take: Maybe my odd childhood support of Pete Sampras is to blame for my dislike of Roland Garros, but I can also respect any event where the players leave the venue wearing part of the surroundings, in this case, the red clay of Paris. Going back to my Sampras-fandom, I'm pretty sure I was just fascinated by the fact that he actually married Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison. Plus, you have to love his status as a poster boy for "voice immodulation disorder".
6. Wrigley Field
What SI says: It's impossible to feel blue at Wrigley Field, even though your beloved Cubs are losing again. The place has grown a bit larger and, amazingly enough, even more graceful since it was built in seven weeks in 1914 for $250,000. It's a national treasure, a true American original. It's ivy and brick and bleachers and a manual scoreboard and seats so close to the field you can almost hear the infield chatter of Hornsby, Hartnett and Banks.

My take: Sure, you can point out that this is where Babe Ruth "called his shot" against Cubs pitcher Charlie Root in Game 3 of the 1932 World Series. I prefer to remember it as the place that appeared in the opening to the immortal television series Perfect Strangers. Come on, you know you loved "Balki" as much as I did.

5. Bislett Stadium
What SI says: An oval of crumbling mortar and rotted wood in a residential neighborhood not far from the center of Oslo, Bislett Stadium transforms itself each summer into a cauldron of desperate noise and rhythmic clapping that carries runners on invisible wings. Sixty-one world records have been set on its forgiving, brick-colored track; Lynn Jennings, the 10,000-meters bronze medalist in the 1992 Olympics, once called it a distance runner's Fenway Park. Bislett is scheduled to be torn down and replaced by a new stadium. Replaced but not improved upon.

My take: Nicodemus Naimadu, remember that time I saved your life after that bee sting in the summer of 2005? Well, today I'm calling in that favor because I have nothing insightful to say about Bislett Stadium and I need some relevant commentary on the shrine to long-distance running.

4. Cameron Indoor Stadium
What SI says: The undergraduates who pack Duke's antiquated Cameron Indoor Stadium -- those wiseacres with the 1,400 SAT scores -- are as entertaining as the games. (Pity the visiting player who has been in the news for some malfeasance.) No wonder the Blue Devils are 133-17 at home over the last 10 years. It's easy to win when you're playing six-on-five.

My take: The home of Luke Reeves's beloved "Bourgeoisie Blue" is the hallmark arena in college basketball. It's not often that Dick Vitale understates things, but even the hoarse screaming of Dickie V. doesn't do justice to the intensity of a UNC-Duke clash at Cameron Indoor Stadium.

3. Michie Stadium
What SI says: Game day at West Point begins three hours before kickoff with the cadet parade on The Plain. It's a scene straight from The Long Gray Line, surpassed only by the view of the Hudson River from the west stands at Michie Stadium. The Corps of Cadets, seated together and dressed in gray and black, evokes memories of when Army was one of the most formidable of college football powers, and cannon blasts shake the 76-year-old edifice to its foundation every time the Black Knights score. It doesn't matter in the least that national championships are no longer decided here.

My take: It's difficult to believe that Michie is the highest-rated college football stadium on the list, leaving out hallowed venues like LSU's Tiger Stadium, Michigan's Big House, and Tennessee's Neyland Stadium, but judging from the picture above, there appear to be few places more suited to a fall football afternoon than the banks of the Hudson.

2. Augusta National
What SI says: Is it the $1.50 ham sandwiches or the peach cobbler? The Crow's Nest or the Champions Room? The pushover par-5s or the murderous par-3s? The soccer-field fairways or the M.C. Escher greens? Is it because there are no pro-ams, no billboards, no blimps? Is it because being inside the ropes actually means something? Is it because every complete player has painted on this same rolling canvas, or because no player is complete until he has?

My take: I would love compose a manifesto to the greatness that is April at Augusta National, but the soothing CBS piano music and the hypnotic voice of Jim Nantz already has me uttering the mantra: "A tradition unlike any other, a tradition unlike any other, a tradition unlike..."

1. Yankee Stadium

What SI says: No sports arena in history, with the possible exception of the Roman Colosseum, has played host to a wider variety of memorable events. Two popes prayed here, Johnny Unitas threw here, Jim Brown ran here, Joe Louis fought here, and Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio played here. Ground can't get more hallowed than that.


My take: Oh, so this is how it's going to be SI? I spend all this time praising and parsing your list, and this is what you do to me? What? How did you think I was going to react to such a slap in the face? Okay, okay, I don't like it all, but it's hard to argue with the paragraph above. Grrrr.

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4 Comments:

At 11:16 PM, Blogger Prosso said...

17-0.

Even if I do jump off the bandwagon, I won't be harmed. My parkour rolling skilz keep me safe. Just like the Pats' O-line kept Tom Brady safe.

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Sammie said...

Someday I will go see a game at Notre Dame

 
At 10:52 PM, Blogger Luke Reeves said...

Just add the Staples Center and my teams will be covered.

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saratoga is much more historically important than Churchill downs.

The fact that it is located in a beautiful town and not in the middle of the Louisville Slums is a factor as well, you fucking retard.

 

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